lost boy

Sometimes, when I’m putting tight pants on, I sing Wiggle by Jason DeRulo.

Are we the same person? The answer is yes.

Kaiden… How much did you drink?

Good question. I may have lost track before, during or after the keg stand. Not sure, so, that's good.

How do you not remember what you did? You ended up in a chicken costume for christs sake.

This could happen to anyone, honestly. Haven't you seen those movies? You know -- the ones about the guy who parties too hard..and ends up in a chicken suit?

How precious, you think you’re funny.

I know I'm funny, grandma.

Honestly, I don’t really feel up to it or much lately. I appreciate the gesture though, yeah, thanks.

You're welcome, I guess. You can always change your mind.

When is taking a dare ever a good idea? What was it?

Turning down dares are for the weak. Challenges build character. However, I'm not entirely sure what I agreed to do.

Agree with you on that. What was the dare?

Chris, I can't even remember.

I lied. I literally don’t do shit in my free time.

You definitely plot out villainous schemes to enact on innocent people, such as myself, all day long.

All I’m saying is that weddings are cute and I like cute things and I don’t expect you to get married…yet.

Who says I'm ever getting married? Maybe I don't want to.

What about the food? You have to care about the food.

How could I forget? I eat whilst sitting on the couch and watching Christmas movies.

Well, I am a fan of the law. But I don’t look like a mom, and that’s all that really matters.

You're absolutely right--actually, is that a gray hair?

And more, my friend. So much more.

You keep that to yourself. I don't need to know what you do in your free time.

I wasn’t looking at you…

Not literally, maybe...Alright, never mind.

There’s nothing quite like dancing to Shakira in the comforts of your room.

That way you're free to pelvic thrust as much as you please?

Wedding makes me really happy, so someone get married soon so I can be all happy and wear a pretty dress and arrange flowers for you.

Don't look at me.