Salutations!

Stop romanticizing the moon

she’s my mom and i would die for her

Me: *starts crying* Me to myself: omg here go your lil crybaby ass…

forgive them. your heart will be lighter for it. forgive them because it gives you closure. it’s all in the past now, and they can’t hurt you there. 

i don’t understand the point of Head & Shoulders shampoo. no one has hair on their shoulders. who is shampooing shoulder hair. please come forward now. no questions

reblog and put in the tags how many liked songs you have on spotify

Did somebody edit this? It is usually a teacup, right?

ITS A FUCKING CUPCAKE???

The things I do for love

the photos of prince philip leaving the hospital have my fucking yelling

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

Can haz snackytreat

world heritage post

those superhero movies that try to be like gritty and dark are so funny to me im sorry….. like that dude is wearing an outfit lol

walked in on my friend watching one of the avengers films during a funeral scene and he got really mad at me because i laughed upon seeing a fucking raccoon at a funeral. like how is that not the height of comedy

my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom

mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.

i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms

my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”