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@pleasecuckmenow

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Both holes. -> MyAnalcams
Seven Mary Three - Cumbersome

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Every sissy out there should give this a like. And give it a reblog if you are wanting to be a sissyslut.
Boy do I want one of those!
Ladies I have another question for you....
What’s one thing you wish guy did while he was going down ?
Actually suck on the clitoris instead of flicking it with his tongue like how a cat drinks water.
I have so much to learn thelifeofbunches
Go slow. Not everything has to be fast paced and crazy all the time
Hold my thighs. Like grip them, just firm enough…
Yasss that clit flicking shit is not the wave.
What about sucking on the clit ? thetennesseehoneyy
Fingering at the same time is always nice, but not in and out, find that gspot and massage it why you lick and suck the clit. I will die.
Touch/grab my thighs, my ass, slowly touch down my spine, everywhere, somewhere. Tease me good before you go down & while you’re down there.
Deadass with the thigh thing Kiss those inner thighs too Pretend you’re passionately kissing the kitty Not a cat drinking water Also don’t even do it if you a)don’t like doing it b)you’re going to do it for 2 seconds
I couldn’t hit reblog fast enough.
Don’t be to shy to open it up and really get the clit. Like if dudes really spread the lips and focused on the clit I would lose my mind
slow down on the flickering thing, that rapid shit isnt pleasurable, slowly running your tongue back n forth tho? Yes.
thigh kissing is nice, ass grabbing, thigh gripping, a little passionate teasing takes you far and honestly gets her wetter by the minute
slow down, take your time at first, dont just dive in, enjoy your meal
that rapid flicking thing doesnt do much for me (i cant speak for every girl) but slow runs across the clit are lovely, just focus on the clit, let your fingers do some work if you get tired or something
I dont know about every girl but that mimic-my-dick-with-my-tongue technique doesnt do shit
Notice how they’ve all basically said the same thing? I hope you men pay attention. Every woman is different but here are the basics to pleasing us.
1. Stop the fucking flicking shit.
2. Focus on the CLIT. Suck it, circle it. Engulf it. If she moans, keep doing that.
3. But pls, do visit thighland. Inner thigh licking and kissing will set us on fire.
4. What is this fingering shit? Massage the gspot or get out. We feel nothing with that little stabbing motion. Also, stop sticking your 2 inches of tongue in there. Come back up to the clit.
5. LONG stokes with the tongue.
6. Stop humming. Most of us use vibrators so that little humming trick you learned from GQ will pale in comparison.
7. Speaking of vibes, the reason you’re in our bed is because you can do 1 thing our wands and rabbits can’t do. And that’s grab us. Grab us, squeeze us, we want to feel your hands on our body.
8. If you can reach, grab a titty.
9. Some women are self conscious about how they look/taste/smell down there. Or worry about taking too long to orgasm, so let her know you’re enjoying it. Moan, groan, sound like you’re eating a plate of ribs
10. Do it til we cum or GTFO!
Oh damn 😳😳💕💕
Why aren’t things compiled and published like this more often??
And more importantly, why aren’t we being told this stuff while down there? Esp those of us who love doing it and doing it right….. feedback, ladies, when we’re there. Please?
I don’t often post shit like this but all of this is important. Guys, you want the goods? Learn to earn it. And please enjoy yourself. If you do it right you’ll enjoy the sheer fact that SHE’S enjoying it.
Taking notes for when I feel like putting some natural facial hair growth serum on my face.
Reblogging for awareness…
Don’t be rubbin on the clit like you trying to shine a shoe, it’s very sensitive. To that end, no dry cat-tounges. Slob it down.
If you think blowing on it or in it or anywhere near the pussy does anything for anyone, punch yourself in the face right now
Great facts and mad humorous. Shoot I love what I do and always have a drenched beard. And little to drink but always good to learn new tricks if there where some.
BEST!!!
Well done ladies! 👏👏 yes work that clit. 💋👠
Definitely suck on my clit. And start gently, you are neither a cat to flip it nor you are in the rush to catch the bus. And once you find out what I like, stop fucking changing the technique!!. Stick to the one that works, we can experiment some other time!!.
Wonderful, Ladies! Be explicit, we want to make you happy, tell us how! :-)
🙌🏻 this is gold!!! Solid gold!!!
Sharing this because everyone should know!
knowledge is power, sharing is caring, etc
Wow. That is alot of valuable feedback right there!!
Rule #1: Don’t do it like they do it in porn.
Rule #2: Don’t do it like they do it in porn!!!
Rule #3: That stupid tongue-way-out and flicking triple time? They do that in porn.
Rule #4: They do that in porn because if they were licking pussy the right way you’d see a) two thighs and b) the back of a head. In porn they want to see a) pussy and b) as little of the man as possible.
Rule #5: Don’t do it like they do it in porn.
Rule #6: Your tongue is not a cock. Sometimes people in porn use their tongues like a cock. But see rules #1-5. Also the second and third sentences of this rule!
Rule #7: Watch how she touches herself. (What, you’ve watched how she touches herself, right? If not watch how pretty much _every_ woman touches herself when she’s legit getting off and not just doing what women do in porn.
Rule #8: Lick her where she touches herself. Because those are the good spots.
Rule #9: Notice how much she’s fingering inside herself when she touches herself? Yeah, me either usually.
Rule #10: If she does touch herself inside, notice how deep her fingers go? Gene Simmon’s tongue isn’t that long, or that strong. See Rule #6.
Rule #11: See her hipbones? See the insides of her thighs almost up by her knees? Unless she’s ticklish (in which case maybe spend more time kissing face to face and letting her get really warmed up, because…
Side Rule #A: Ticklish almost always means not-horny-enough.
Rule #12: Back to Rule #11: Find time to kiss her everywhere between her hipbones and the insides of her thighs almost up to her knees. Then start kissing her kitty.
Rule #13: When she’s really wound up she’s very likely to be sensitive everywhere detailed in Rule #11.
Rule #14: Long, soft strokes with the flat of your tongue. From the bottom of her kitty along side her outer lips to the top. Then on the other side.
Rule #15: Which they rarely do in porn. So do that.
Rule #16: gently part her lips with your own lips and tongue and softly slip between her inner lips, tasting her as you go because she’s going to taste pretty good.
Rule #17: Maybe slurp one of her inner lips between yours, one side at a time, fairly close to the top near her clit, and swirl your tongue on the inside – while gently tugging down just a little bit because that tugs down on her clit a little bit.
Rule #18: Generally speaking don’t slide your tongue all the way under her hood because the tip of her clit is sensitive as hell and the top of your tongue is usually pretty rough.
Rule #19: You know how you watched the way she touches herself? Take a minute to think about that again. Bonus points of you remember which side of her clit she favors because almost everyone is more sensitive on one side than the other.
Side Rule #B: For some reason the average woman’s clit is more sensitive on the left side.
Side Rule #C: But goddamn it the woman you are going down on is anything but average! So your her mileage may vary!
Rule #20: Open your mouth over her clit hood – about as wide as you comfortably can (though watch those teeth) – and then apply gentle suction.
Rule #21: Wetly swirl your tongue alongside the hood of her clit, up past the little fold that hides the tip.
Rule #22: Occasionally slide your tongue back and forth across the top of her clit hood.
Rule #23: If she’s really aroused you’ll start to feel a little “stem” growing underneath her hood. That’s good. Very, very good.
Rule #24: This is a very good time to think carefully about what you’re going to do next. Because when you feel that little stem (her clit’s erect) then you might be able to back off a little bit. And go on a little kissing and licking tour from #12, above. Which might help her keep sailing and also help her from …
Rule #25: If you keep doing the same thing change it up a little, because she can go numb. This will frustrate her at least as much as it will you.
Rule #25: If you feel her little stem under her clit hood rise, and if she grabs your head or (especially) if she squeaks “don’t stop” in a tiny little entirely non-porn way (because Rules all-of-the-above if she’s really getting off she’s not likely to sound much like anyone in porn) then…
Rule #26: DON’T STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING! Because she’s going to come if you don’t stop. And want to grit her teeth, cry, or possibly kill you if you do.
Rule #27: When she’s done coming (she’ll let you know by releasing pressure on your head with her hands and/or possibly her thighs) go back to #11 and give her soft, gentle kisses there. Because her inner lips and clit will almost certainly be pretty sensitive.
Rule #28: Climb up along side her and hold and kiss her. (If you’re not sure she’ll like her flavor – many women do but quite a few don’t at all – then subtly wipe your face on the sheets on your way up.
Rule #29: I didn’t say anything about fucking her afterwards, did I? No I didn not. Sometimes she’ll want to after. Sometimes she won’t. Just like sometimes you’re up for it after she’s gone down on you and blown your socks across the room and other times you couldn’t get it up again for lifeboat room on the Titanic! If not that’s ok. You can jack off later, just like she rubs one out when you’ve capsized after coming. But!
Rule #30: She’ll remember. And rock your fucking socks next time. Because most guys won’t go down on her at all, and the ones that do think porn is an instruction manual. And so she won’t forget you pulling that thorn out of her paw, and she’ll be a lioness next time. Which might not be that long because many (but not all!) women recover and are ready for a nice round two before all that long at all.
Rule #31: Rule #32, below, is the most important rule of all.
In other words don’t be a robot. She’s not a robot either. Interact, make eye contact, respond to her like she’s very likely responding to you!
And finally, Rule #33: Don’t lick anyone’s pussy like they do it in porn!
Goodness! I thought I’d lost this post! It’s the source of my maybe-cryptic “Rule 5″ tag: don’t do it like they do it in porn!
Better late than never!
I am really, really happy that you didn’t lose this post, positively perky one might say. All I can add to the plethora of juicy nuggets of insightful information, is uhm carry on… *secret smile*
#26 and #27.
If she’s moaning and grinding her hips against your face, for the love of all that’s holy…Don’t Stop!
Always a reblog!
Should be a reblog always!
Be messy and don’t pay attention to being too “clean”, be dirty and be vocal! Show her that she is and will forever be your addiction and your drug and all you are concentrating!
And, for God sake, bite it….make sure she knows you want her at your mercy and show so emotions! Show fire and passion! 🐺😈🤤
Read the comments like for real if every guy did this we would want you to eat us out more dangggg
Long post but it’s a hell of a PSA
A thread worth reading boys 🥲 couldn’t have said it better myself! Take notes 📝
Rule#1: A sissy does not have a cock. A sissy has a clitty
Rule#2: A sissy wears a bra and panties
Rule#3: A sissy loves cock
Rule#4: A sissy loves cum
Rule#5: A sissy takes it in the ass
Rule#6: A sissy loves pink
Rule#7: A sissy loves her toys
Rule#8: A sissy dresses like a slut
Rule#9: A sissy shares
Rule#10: Sissies love facials
Rule#11: A sissy must have a tight ass
Rule#12: A sissy must have perfect bimbo makeup
Rule#13: A sissy grows big fake tits
Rule#14: A sissy is a pro cock sucker
Rule#15: One is not enough
Rule#16: A sissy belongs on her knees
Rule#17: A sissy doesn’t forget to practice
Rule#18: Sissies swallow
Rule#19: A sissy begs for it
Rule#20: A sissy will fuck anywhere
Rule#21: Sissies love to plug
Rule#22: Every sissy dreams of being a bimbo
Rule#23: Cum is your reward
Rule#24: You are a tool used to please cock. Every cock.
Rule#25: You prefer Big Black Dick
Rule#26: Sissies love garters and stockings
Rule#27: Sissies love a good gloryhole
Rule#28: A sissy loves the taste is own cum
Rule#29: Woman is superior to sissy
Rule#30: A sissy doesn’t have a boyfriend, a sissy has a master(Daddy)
Rule#31: A sissy doesn’t have a girlfriend, a sissy has a mistress
Rule#32: Sissies bend over
Rule#33: Sissies love heels
Rule#34: Sissies can’t forget to tuck their clitty
Rule#35: A sissy’s ass is always on display
Rule#36: Cute panties are essential
Rule#37: Sissies wear tight leggings to attract men to their ass
Rule#38: A sissy doesn’t neglect the balls
Rule#39: A sissy has no butthole, a sissy has a pussy
Rule#40: A sissy does not jerk her cock. A sissy cums only from getting her ass fucked
Rule#41: A sissy has two holes, both should be put to use
Rule#42: Paint your face to look like a whore
Rule#43: Work out to keep your sexy sissy bod fit
Rule#44: Expose your thong so that they know that its on
Rule#45: A sissy’s body is smooth and shaven all over
Rule#46: A sissy’s body is always for sale
Rule#47: Cum is not to be wasted
Rule#48: Sissies don’t think. Sissies do as they’re told
Rule#49: A sissy’s mouth is not made for talking
Rule#50: Sissies love to be degraded
Rule#51: Big black cock is a delicacy and should be treated as such
Rule#52: Sissies love playtime
Rule#53: Sissies take every inch
Rule#54: Sissies always dress slutty when they go out. So they always get fucked
Rule#55: Panties are only removed for cock
Rule#56: No skirt is too short
Rule#57: Sissies wear bikinis
Rule#58: The only use a sissy has for a condom, is slurping up Daddy’s cum
Rule#59: Wear a black bra, so they know you’re naughty
Rule#60: Sissies fuck outdoors
Rule#61: Pink is to be worn as a badge of sissy pride
Rule#62: Never say no to cock
Rule#63: You’re not a person; you’re a sissy fuck toy
Rule#64: A sissy doesn’t jerk her clitty. She fucks both her holes while rubbing her clitty like a dirty girl
Rule#65: Send pics of yourself to cute boys, let them know you’re a dirty slut
Rule#66: Sissies sit when they pee
Rule#67: Sissies love a nice gang bang
Rule#68: Pink panties alone will not make you a sissy. You must have the body and mind of a true sissy slut
Rule#69: Sissies play with each other
Rule#70: Cum is essential in a sissy’s daily diet
Rule#71: Sissies are whores that don’t earn a thing. Sissies give everything to their Daddy or Mistress
Rule#72: Sissies are property that can be bought or sold
Rule#73: Wear stockings and stilettos
Rule#74: Sissies tuck their clitty into pantyhose
Rule#75: Paint your lips; make them a bright red target for cock
Rule#76: Sissies love Bukkake
Rule#77: Every sissy has a little black dress
Rule#78: Your sissy ass was made to take big dicks
Rule#79: Sissies wear make up to look like perfect little Bimbo Fuck Dolls
Rule#80: Sissies wear sexy lingerie to bed
Rule#81: Sissies love giving road-head
Rule#82: Sissies eat ass
Rule#83: Sissies love to feel the bulge of a hard cock
Rule#84: Sissies always say yes
Rule#85: Always keep eye contact
Rule#86: Grow your hair long so men have something to grab while they pound your ass
Rule#87: Sissies are punished when they misbehave
Rule#88: Sissies don’t mind getting kinky
Rule#89: Strap-on should always be treated as if they were real cocks
Rule#90: A sissy’s legs are always open
Rule#91: A sissy always showers with her daddy
Rule#92: Sissies don’t try to hide their panties; they proudly present them for all to see
Rule#93: A dildo is a sissy’s best friend
Rule#94: A sissy’s pants should always be skin tight
Rule#95: Work your sissy ass, so it can handle being fucked on a daily basis
Rule#96: Sissies wear yoga pants because they know how good their ass looks
Rule#97: Find some sissy friends. Go out and get fucked together
Rule#98: Real women don’t enjoy being groped, but sissies don’t mind at all
Rule#99: All a sissy needs to know is how to please a cock
Rule#100: Be a good girl
Rule#101: A sissy can never have enough shoes
Rule#102: A sissy’s breath always smells like cock
Rule#103: Sissies proudly buy their lingerie in the store
Rule#104: Sissies find a way to dress sexy even when it’s cold
Rule#105: Sissies eat their own cum to remind themselves that they are no longer a man
Rule#106: Sissies love eating pussy only when they get to lap up the Alpha cum dripping from inside
Rule#107: Sissies bounce up and down on real men’s long hard cocks
Rule#108: Sissies love to finger their own asshole
Rule#109: Sissies wear panties when they run their clitty
Rule#110: A sissy always says please and thank you
Rule#111: Sissies read girly magazines
Rule#112: If cum isn’t leaking from your gaping asshole, you’re not done yet
Rule#113: Look cute when you look for cock
Rule#114: Sissies love wearing crotchless panties
Rule#115: Every sissy wants a black daddy
Rule#116: Sissies don’t fuck women, women fuck sissies
Rule#117: Sissies don’t want to be normal girls; sissies want to be bimbo fuck dolls
Rule#118: A sissy needs no help putting on a bra
Rule#119: Wear a tight thong when you plug your boy pussy
Rule#120: Never be afraid of a huge cock, you must worship it as you do every cock
Rule#121: Forget about boxers, sissies wear pretty pink panties
Rule#122: Sissies like it rough
Rule#123: Drop those panties when Daddy says so
Rule#124: Every sissy needs someone to teach them to suck cock
Rule#125: A sissy should never run out of her bras and panties
Rule#126: Wear a crop top, make all the boys stare
Rule#127: Sissies love the feeling of a tight corset hugging their body
Rule#128: Sissies always go out with the intention of getting fucked
Rule#129: A sissy’s ass needs to be trained to take big cocks
Rule#130: Cum dumpster is not an insult it’s your occupation
Rule#131: Sissies get fake tits so they can be fucked in a whole new way
Rule#132: Transform yourself into a perfect bimbo pin-up girl
Rule#133: Desperate for a good fucking? Pick your phone up Sissy, make a booty call
Rule#134: Always treat the balls with extra care, after all, that’s wear your treat is made
Rule#135: Sissies don’t wear lingerie to seduce men; sissies wear lingerie because it makes them feel feminine
Rule#136: Sissies love to feel their big fake tits supported by a tight bra
Rule#137: You can always find a way to practice sucking cock
Rule#138: A sissy is content with the size of her clitty, its small size reminds her that she is not a man
Rule#139: Study real women, take notes
Rule#140: Cum is not to be wiped away and disposed of, it is to be worn with pride
Rule#141: Always look as cute as can be when you go out shopping
Rule#142: When you see cute boys make that booty pop
Rule#143: No cock is too big for a sissy like you
Rule#144: Always be ready for Daddy when he comes home
Rule#145: Your job is to help him with his real job
Rule#146: Every sissy wants to be owned by a big black man with a big black cock
Rule#147: Sissies love to wear matching lingerie
Rule#148: Keep your clitty and boy pussy clean and shaven
Rule#149: A sissy works out like a girl
Rule#150: Sissies don’t get to fuck anyone, sissies get fucked by everyone
If you can obey all these then you're worthy of being my slave
Well damn...
Interesting! I must try this out and see if pressure points actually do work in this situation!
Yes,.. I have seen this theory before...Don't know yet if it works.
it works
Would love to!
We want to

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Hey mother nature i love you and shit but like….what the fuck my good bitch
Goodness!
Okay. I’m Canadian so I know a shit ton about staying warm if you’re new to the cold there here are some tips!(add more if you know more!)
1. Wear grippy shoes, nothing is worse than snowmelt freezing on your skin.
2.Do not wear jeans as your outter layer. wet denim is the most body heat siphoning mother fucker known to man or god
3. Have a warm drink with you. It will help. Even just some hot soup broth or boiled water will help keep you warm.
4. Wear a moisture wicking layer close to your skin so you don’t get cold from your own sweat. You will sweat. That is fine and expected.
5. If you start feeling too warm even though you were cold and like you have to take your clothes of DO NOT. Call 911. You are suffering from hypothermia.
6. Bring a blanket and a heat source that needs no electricity with you in your vehicle. You do not want to be stranded with no heat in the case that something happens.
7. If you are struggling on ice as you’re walking, stop. Get your balance and penguin shuffle to a less slippery patch of ground. There’s usually less ice on one side of the walk and it’s better to walk in the snow next to the sidewalk than it is to eat dirt when ya slip
8. STAY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK AWAY FROM FROZEN BODIES OF WATER. Ponds are deceptive as shit even with the “solid blue tried and true” thing. Go around.
9. Keep kids warm. They run at a higher body temperature and will feel the effects of the cold worse than you.
10. Huddling is your best friend. Even if you don’t know the person, remember you’re both cold, especially if they don’t have the right clothing for the weather.
11. Pay attention to windchill. That is how cold it feels. Dress appropriately please. I know it’s tempting to dress for style, but there’s nothing stylish about losing your toes to frostbite
12. Don’t touch metal if you can avoid it. It will sap your heat and likely freeze to anything wet. Like tongues. Don’t fucking lick a pole.
13. If someone licks something metal, pour warm water over their tongue to get them free. If they yank, they will bleed. A lot.
14. Keep your ears, noes, fingers, and toes warm. You’re extremities will get cold first and are the most likely parts of your body to get frostbite.
15. If you see someone who may not have a place to be in the cold, offer to help them find a local shelter or library. The elements, especially the cold, are some of the largest threats to those who cannot avoid them.
16. If you find yourself stuck outside for a long time, sleep during the day when it is warmest, and avoid sleeping on the ground. Stay awake as much as you can at night so you have a better chance of staying warm.
@kinglesbiancore
So who is in upstate NY? AKA anywhere north of NYC.
315 here
845 here
Kingston - 845
518, 845
Albany
Albany 👌
Wrd
Saratoga
Lake George
315
Glenmont
518 near Albany
DARE FOR SOMEONE
dare people to park 100 yds from a clothing bank walk to the bank remove all clothes put them in the clothing bank walk back to car naked anyone up for a challenge
Are you sure you want to get cuckolded?
Absolutely
My wife came home with this today and said it's all for me. She told me to go take a shower while she puts the kids to bed.

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Techniques For Hotwives
This is awesome. Just pure awesome. Thanks Albany Hotwife!
From: http://albanyhotwife.tumblr.com/page/10
Techniques For Hotwives; I absolutely love being a hotwife. One of the best parts for me is driving my husband insane with lust for me by giving him just the right blend of teasing and reassurance. Not only do I get the freedom and variety of choosing my own sexual partners, but I also get a husband who burns with desire for me. For the purpose of this entry I’m going to use the term hotwife for any wife with permission to play, cuckoldress for a hotwife who emphasizes her dominance in the sexual relationship, huband for the hotwife’s primary partner (could easily be a fiance or boyfriend), and lover for the other sex partner who’s not the husband.
Here are some techniques I regularly use that I’ve found hotwives and cuckoldresses can use to make their encounters extra fun for their husbands and for themselves.
When Husband is Watching You with Another Man
Eye Contact* - Nothing will arouse and tease your husband like strong eye contact with him. Eye contact says, “Look at me!” and makes it impossible for either of you to ignore or trivialize what’s going on. Eye contact can be gentle or fierce, depending on your style and the message you’re trying to send. I prefer to lock eyes for a long time, then wink or smile right before I look away. I like to lock eyes with my husband while I’m blowing my lover.
Smile* - Smiling is both a tease and a reassurance. It says both, “Look how much fun I’m having!” and “Everything is OK.” I love to smile at him when I’m riding my lover cowgirl-style.
Say Something* - You don’t have to jabber away, but it’s fun to say things now and then. I love dirty talk with my lover while my husband’s watching. I also like to interact with him, asking, “How are you liking the show?” or “Don’t you wish you were doing this?” I also encourage my lover to talk about how good everything feels and how much fun he’s having. Moaning, screaming, crying, laughing, giggling, etc. are all great things to do, too. It’s also cute to call you husband by terms of endearment like honey, baby, etc. when you’re being fucked by another man.
Dress Up* - High heel shoes, lingerie, nicely done nails, and perfume all say, “I’m putting effort into looking fucking hot for my lover!” You husband will be aroused by your appearance and jealous of the effort to look good for another guy.
When Husband is Listening from Another Room
Go Nuts* - Scream, cry, moan, laugh, beg, talk dirty, giggle, and slurp. Encourage your lover to slap your butt. These sounds will float through the closed door and to your husband’s ears, driving him wild with desire and jealousy.
Emerge, then Vanish* - Take a break from fucking. Go out into the room where your husband is: hair a mess, makeup smeared. Have a glass of water. Say hi to your husband. Then, go back to the bedroom. Close the door. Lock it.
Make a Movie* - Film your bedroom romp. Hook the camera in your room to the TV in the room where he’s sitting so he can watch live feed! He’ll be scratching at the door in no time.
When Husband is Not Around
Call Him* - It’s fun to call him and put the phone on speaker phone while you’re getting railed. Then, husband can listen! Even more fun (for you cuckoldresses) is let your other guy call from his phone instead. It’s more humiliating.
Texts* - Like above, but text dirty things. What you’re doing, feeling, etc. Have your other guy send husband dirty pics of what you’re doing.
Get Caught* - I love having my husband walk in on me when he’s not expecting anything. Just make sure that you know he’d be OK with this, and that your lover is also OK with this. Some people don’t like surprises.
Leave Evidence* - Your lingerie lying around the bed, sex toys on the nightstand, or a condom in the garbage all remind your husband of what you were doing in his absence.
Make a Movie (pt. 2)* - Film your bedroom romp and leave the recording on the nightstand for him.