✗┋i'll float on but i'll never grow old — ❞

FULL NAME: edward michael kaspbrak

NICKNAME(S): eddie, eds, spaghetti head, eddie spaghetti, spagheds, etc. by the losers/party. also wheezy, “sissy little queer boy,” and uh a bunch of other… more aggressive things by non–partylosers according to the book thanks a lot steve (king, not harrington)

AGE: eighteen

DATE OF BIRTH: september 3, 1976

HOMETOWN: derry, maine

CURRENT LOCATION: derry, maine

ETHNICITY: he white

NATIONALITY: americano

GENDER: cis male

PRONOUNS: he/him/his

ORIENTATION: het thanks!!!!! just kidding he’s a homoromantic homosexual

RELIGION: a good christian boiy. he was raised methodist. what is he really? who knows. fighting a giant clown monster demon thing makes you really question a lot about religion and he’s not willing to go too deep into it

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: left-leaning, but very moderately so, mostly influenced by his friends and also by the fact that maine has been a blue state pretty much for the entire time he’s been old enough to think about these things. his mom’s a democrat solely because she lives off the welfare system ( and because she finds bill clinton incredibly charming and charismatic ); otherwise she’d definitely be a republican

OCCUPATION: student, a sad small gay

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: he lives with his momma in a very toxic environment also his mom is lowkey a hoarder it’s not so bad that he’s embarrassed to invite people over but like she’s a hoarder

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english and…. english

ACCENT: um idk a maine accent

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: timothée chalamet

HAIR COLOUR: dark brown

EYE COLOUR: hazel—sometimes more green, sometimes more brown, sometimes more weirdly gold-ish; depends on the day and lighting

HEIGHT: five feet, eight inches.

WEIGHT: one-hundred twenty-two pounds.

BUILD: skinny af and long-limbed ( for his stature ). not crazy short anymore, but still below average height

TATTOOS: LMAO

PIERCINGS: y’all. pls

CLOTHING STYLE: from my head canons, bc i’m too lazy to rewrite it: eddie often looks like he’s stepped out of the pages of a ralph lauren catalogue not because he is stylish or fashionable at all—he isn’t—but because he wears a lot of polos and shorts, though he doesn’t fill them out nearly as well as the ralph lauren models do. Especially pastel polos. he also frequently wears your good ol’ graphic tee and jeans combo, because you can’t go wrong there, right?

USUAL EXPRESSION: concerned tbh

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: slightly doe-eyed, extremely doe-bodied, a preppy haircut, an inhaler in hand, and also he’s probably getting squeaky-voiced about something and/or visibly shaking. like a chihuahua.

HEALTH

PHYSICAL AILMENTS: technically? none

NEUROLOGICAL CONDITIONS: LORDY okay so the number one most important one is munchausen syndrome and hypochondria courtesy of being the proxy of his mom’s munchausen by proxy; severe anxiety (including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder); clinical depression; and, finally, i believe the medical term for it is “FOMO"

ALLERGIES: supposedly pollen, animal dander, insect bites/stings, dust, latex, mold, wool, and, like, a bunch of other shit. he does actually have some allergies, especially to pollen/animal dander/dust, that aren’t super severe and therefore don’t necessarily present typical allergy symptoms and contribute to his constant feelings of general illness and malaise that heighten the aforementioned hypochondria. he also is actually allergic to latex. womp womp

SLEEPING HABITS: not the best but not the worst—eddie falls asleep early enough and wakes early enough, especially when left to his own devices, but he’ll often stay up later just to be in the group chat because of the aforementioned FOMO and also because richie will usually show up at his house and they’ll just talk for a while. but even then tbh he has a hard time staying up later than like 1 or 2, and even on the weekends he’ll wake up pretty early. so……… all this adds up to having ambitions of getting a good amount of sleep, not getting Terrible amounts of sleep, but also not getting Enough sleep.

EATING HABITS: you would think he would have some special diet and maybe in 2018 he would be raised eating nothing but kale and granola and gluten free shit but bitch it’s 1994 eddie eats hella processed foods

EXERCISE HABITS: that’s cute idk he gets exercise from running from bullies and riding his bike w his friends although they don’t do that as much anymore now that people have cars

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: 1 probably eddie is always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. in actuality he’s probably around a 7, which is much higher than you might think; as much as he is indeed constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown, he’s done a pretty good job of pushing down literally everything into a well so deep that most people, including himself, can’t really tell what’s wrong or what’s going on, and it’s been that way for a long, long time. or anyway, repression is the only version of emotional stability he’s learned to manage and maintain, which probably doesn’t actually count as very stable, so who knows, maybe he’s a 3.

SOCIABILITY: not as introverted as one might think; he’s definitely an introvert and needs some time alone to recharge, but in general, he prefers being around his friends to not being around them and will go out of his way to be with the people he’s closest to

BODY TEMPERATURE: runs cold, typically, which also means he gets cold easily, which sucks when you live in fucking maine

ADDICTIONS: none

DRUG USE: a seasoned pill popper of all kinds of vitamins and various placebos. he’s also on like 35 different mental health related medications. i know this isn’t what you were looking for but this is eddie kaspbrak

ALCOHOL USE: fam, come on

PERSONALITY

LABEL: “the little nervous one,” according to me upon my first watch of IT (2017); the crepehanger

POSITIVE TRAITS: loyal, feisty, energetic, brave

NEGATIVE TRAITS: defeatist, anxious, rambling, hypocritical

GOALS/DESIRES: to overcome his biggest fears, mainly—which means to be able to leave derry ( and his mother ) behind; to accept that he is not some sickly boy in need of protecting; to feel comfortable in his own skin.

FEARS: disease, death, abandonment, intense feelings of any kind honestly, his sexuality, exposure of said sexuality, change, his mom, disappointing his mom, independence, failure

HOBBIES: comics, movies, spending fucking HOURS reading medical websites and learning that all roads lead to cancer, hanging out with The Gang™, annoying his friends, lecturing his friends, sneaking out of his house, super mario bros, is candy a hobby? it is now, not dungeons and dragons ‘cause he’s not a fuckin nerd

HABITS: nail biting, compulsive timekeeping, pencil chewing tbh but only at Home, ice chewing also…..it’s super bad for your teeth but man does he love it……., assuming death lurks around every corner and shouting at everyone else about it

FAVOURITES

WEATHER: he likes a sunny day in weather that is slightly crisp, like late september, bc he has seasonal allergies

COLOUR: blu. particularly a good royal blue. sometimes sky blue if he’s feeling festive

MUSIC: pop music mostly…………. he loves a diva. he is a Loud whitney houston stan but he keeps his madonna love much closer to the vest

MOVIES: comedies definitely. he doesn’t care much for movies that are like, cinematically renowned and artsy or whatever. he’s here for something stupid that’ll make him laugh. he really likes dumb and dumber, embarrassingly enough. he also loves bill & ted. it’s his favorite movie. good ol wholesome fun, there.

SPORT: tennis obviously

BEVERAGE: an arnold palmer he’s really wildin out here

FOOD: honestly? a fuckin ice cream sundae

ANIMAL: penguins they’re gay and they mate for life

FAMILY

FATHER: frank kaspbrak. he died of cancer when eddie was a wee bab ( he was five so not actually a wee bab, but wee enough )

MOTHER: sonia kaspbrak, a devil woman

SIBLING(S): none

PET(S): he had a goldfish named arnold once that’s it

FAMILY’S FINANCIAL STATUS: lower middle class. his mom doesn’t work and lives solely off disability checks and the like, but they never seem to be for lack of money for eddie’s extensive medical care or, like, food or shelter.

EXTRA

ZODIAC SIGN: virgo binch

MBTI: ISFJ ( the defender )

ENNEAGRAM: type 6 ( the loyalist ), but actually he’s a type 6 with a type 5 wing that’s almost balanced, which, hilariously, is also called the defender

TEMPERAMENT: melancholic

HOGWARTS HOUSE: GRYFFINDOR FIGHT ME

MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good

PRIMARY VICE: envy

PRIMARY VIRTUE: charity

7: What was your most embarrassing moment in front of a doctor? 

“ all i’m gonna say is that nobody told me when you go in for a physical it’s, like, a full body inspection. and their hands are cold. stuff shrinks in the cold. ”

17: If someone were to take over your body in this very instant, what would you need to brief them on?

“ your cat is really into sitting on your head at any given moment and will leap from the bookshelf just to get on said head. if you didn’t like spicy food before, you do now. your dad is real bad at holding a conversation. also, you take big shits. it’s how you eat so much. ”

29: What's the most useless thing you still have memorized? 

✓ What a typical Tuesday night looks like

as somebody who is mostly left to his own devices, jahan’s nights are either spent shut in in his room browsing the internet aimlessly ( or talking to online friends, because he does have those ), playing video games, or watching tv ... or wandering around the town. he’s not really a troublemaker per se but he does have a knack for finding places he probably shouldn’t be, or at the very least, exacerbating his “ dangerous lone wolf ” reputation. he’s the kind of guy who walks the train tracks and isn’t afraid to take a walk in the ‘ seedy ’ parts of town alone. really, he’s just curious and likes to explore, and since he doesn’t really fit in anywhere he doesn’t feel like most places are off limits, either. he also will make dinner for him and his dad most nights, since his dad works pretty late.

☾ Sleeping habits 

terrible. like i said, most of his life is either lived online or otherwise alone in the world, so there’s a good chance he’s out way later than he should be or just up all night playing games / scrolling mindlessly through tumblr / reading articles about things / whatever else. as a result he sleeps in most days and is often late to school.

↪ Internet browsing activities

☗ What you’d find in their cabinets

in her actual bedroom/bathroom there’s a whole lotta makeup and skin care/hair care/etc products, most of which she accumulates and doesn’t really know how to use. she watches a lot of youtube makeup tutorials but her usual makeup look is pretty straightforward because that shit is intimidating as hell. she is, however, working on her winged eyeliner game. she’s getting pretty good at it if she does say so herself. ryan is also the last person on earth with a dvd/bluray collection. a lot of them are pretty random because she always buys secondhand $2 dvds just to check them out and is sort of a hoarder and never gets rid of them.

✓ What a typical Tuesday night looks like

on tuesdays ryan and robbie have karate. ryan is not somebody who is especially passionate about karate or anything, but her brother reeeeeally wanted to do it, and it was a lot easier on her parents if they just signed both their kids up, which is kind of embarrassing because ugh, mom, ryan is four years older than robbie, robbie is ten, she doesn’t need to be out in the world with robbie all the time! however, that also means she’s supposed to finish her homework before karate, which she almost never does. ryan is a decent student who gets pretty much all of her assignments done on time, but that doesn’t mean she’s going home right after school to do more school, okay. post-karate is dinner, followed by family tv time, aka time when ryan half watches tv and half does her homework, and then goes home to try to catch up with her friends from her old school, meaning a lot of texting and snapchatting and tweeting. however, as time goes on and the school year progresses, this becomes less and less of a nightly occurrence. 

☃ What they wear around the house

✧ How clean their living space is now, and/or would be ideally

ehh. even when her room is at its cleanest it doesn’t look that clean, because she has a habit of accumulating a lot of clutter. see: her walls practically wallpapered with cutouts from magazines of various bands/movies/actors/artists/etc, posters, pictures with friends, pictures with family, pictures of dogs—you name it, it’s up there; a shelf covered in plastic trophies from playing soccer throughout the years, miscellaneous knick knacks, makeup, and books; a desk with scattered papers, highlighters, et cetera; a lot ( a lot ) of different colored pairs of shoes. so even when it all gets organized, there’s a lot of stuff, but it’s... seldom organized anyway. she tends to have clothes all over the floor a lot, which is partly a result of trying on approximately four outfits before settling on one because she’s insecure about her “look” and trying to find a defining aesthetic/identity.

▀ What they’d hide under the bed

mostly random stuff from when she was a kid, but she definitely hides a whole bunch of stuffed animals under her bed. she’s still got a few on her bed/around the room, but now that she’s In High School(TM) she feels like she’s got to be a little more grown-up, which means the vast majority of them were relegated to a beneath-the-bed trunk, save for an iguana on her bed and a large winnie the pooh that lives on the corner of her desk.

☻ How late they stay up

NAME. jahan tariq mirza NICKNAMES. will sometimes go by jay so that white people don’t call him john AGE. sixteen BIRTHDAY. october 29th ( scorpio ) ETHNICITY. half - south asian, half - white OCCUPATION. high school junior FINANCIAL STATUS. lower to middle class RELIGIOUS VIEWS. muslim, loosely practicing

BIRTH ORDER. only child PARENTS. erica ricci ( mother, deceased ); nasir mirza ( father, age fifty-one ) PARENTS’ RELATIONSHIP. widowed SIBLINGS. none PETS. a grey tabby american shorthair cat named merlin

HEIGHT. five feet, nine inches BUILD. slender HAIR. black, kept short and often tousled EYES. brown SCARS. none FACE CLAIM. zayn malik ( 2012 – ish )

MBTI TYPE. istp – the crafter ALIGNMENT. chaotic good ENNEAGRAM. type 5w4 – the investigator / the individualist TEMPERAMENT. melancholic HOGWARTS HOUSE. ravenclaw DISPOSITION. aloof and unapproachable TROPES. jerk with a heart of gold, loners are freaks, deadpan snarker

NAME. ryan rae ritter NICKNAMES. none AGE. fourteen BIRTHDAY. june 17th ( gemini ) ETHNICITY. white OCCUPATION. high school freshman FINANCIAL STATUS. middle to upper middle class RELIGIOUS VIEWS. lutheran, non-practicing

BIRTH ORDER. second of three PARENTS. adrienne lowell ( mother, age forty-five ); joseph ritter ( father, age forty-eight ) PARENTS’ RELATIONSHIP. married, mostly happily SIBLINGS. reagan ritter ( sister, age nineteen ); robbie ritter ( brother, age ten ) PETS. a golden dox named ferret, several fish, an iguana named sergeant baker

HEIGHT. five feet, four inches BUILD. petite; often looks smaller than she is HAIR. dark brown; generally kept in a bob EYES. honestly i have no fucking clue i cannot figure out if this girl has brown eyes or half brown/half blue heterochromia  SCARS. none FACE CLAIM. nia lovelis

MBTI TYPE. enfp – the champion ALIGNMENT. lawful good ENNEAGRAM. type 2 – the helper TEMPERAMENT. sanguine HOGWARTS HOUSE. gryffindor DISPOSITION. friendly, if overenthusiastic TROPES. cute bruiser, beware the silly ones, rookie red ranger

1: What is the most useless fact you know?

2: What was your most awkward "hahaha...oh wait you're serious" moment?

3: What is your favorite headline from The Onion?

4: Everyone's belly button and butthole have just swapped places, how does this change the world?

5: What sounds disturbing if used with the adjective 'weaponized'?

6: What is riskier than most people might realize?

7: What was your most embarrassing moment in front of a doctor?

8: What is considered a punishment as a kid but a reward as an adult?

9: What's something you do in private that if discovered would make you seem absolutely crazy?

10: Growing up rich or financially well off, what did you think was normal until you learned otherwise?

11: What sacrifices do you make for your S.O. that they are unaware of?

12: What is an inaccurate Hollywood cliche about your line of work that makes you cringe every time you see it?

13: What are some good psychological tricks that work?

14: How would you describe Reddit to a friend who has never heard of it?

15: How would you describe Tumblr to a friend who has never heard of it?

16: What is the single most liberating thought that you've ever had?

17: If someone were to take over your body in this very instant, what would you need to brief them on?

18: What's the worst case of "spoiled rotten" that you've seen?

19: You are to curse someone you don't like with a mildly inconvenient Midas Touch, what is it?

20: If Star Wars was real life, what would you do for a living?

21: What was the most sadistic thing you did as a child?

22: What becomes 10x creepier at night?

23: What's creepier during the daytime than at night?

24: You have been darned to heck. What's it like there?

25: What is something you have told the truth about but everybody thought you were lying?

26: What sensation do you absolutely HATE?

27: What small change in a sport would make it more entertaining?

28: What's a genuinely hurtful comment you can't forget?

29: What's the most useless thing you still have memorized?

he hated to admit it, but seeing him so flustered was incredibly amusing, even if ciaran was really annoyed with him. “but, aren’t you two twins? why would anyone ever think that?” as he shifted, the things in his backpack clinked, forcing him to remember that of the two of them, the only one who meant any overt harm, was himself. “of my three sisters, liadan is the one who looks the least like me.” if it had been oonagh, he might not have made the joke. “i do have a green thumb, just so you know.” ciaran stuck his hands in his pocket, finding a small, crumpled plastic back in his pocket. he took it out, revealing a small joint within. “a perfect example. i can prove it to you right now, if you want.” baxter had apologized and explained himself, so ciaran had no real reason to be so contentious. maybe he just needed the excuse to smoke with baxter again. 

yup. of course he couldn’t trust his sister to stick by him, even at least until this guy was gone for good. ciarán’s expression soured further and further the more baxter talked. he wound closer, glancing around the garden before looking at baxter again. “yeah? think so? i dunno, i think it would make family reunions awkward considering she’s my sister.” he shrugged, cocking an eyebrow at baxter, his lips quirked in a cold smile. “it’s cool, it’s cool. i look after my nephew, you met him right? red hair, cute as fuck? i guess i better stay home and hit on either of my other two sisters instead.” he brushed past baxter, this time taking care not to full on shoulder check him. if he’d really been putting all the effort into the garden he claimed to be, he had to be even more solid.