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“But North Korea has a cult of personality” and we depict our founding fathers as angel-like beings blessed with the divine vision of a great nation built on earth that will spread its light to all corners. Like literally. We painted that on the ceiling of our capital building.

diversity win! the therapist who is contractually obligated to call the police on you if you’re too suicidal works for a 🌈queer affirming practice🌈

*sits up in the middle of sex unprompted* *insecurely* you think my pussy is liminal right

I've been worried ever since I was born

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

instead of either having a server be muted or unmuted discord should introduce a setting called special princess mode where the server is muted except ☝🏽 for one person that is your special princess and the emoji0oo990op09iop09i8o09i8op09iolp-09op-0opyujiko8o9i8ukol9iukolp9i8uki sorry. i got a drop of oil on my keyboard bc i was eating hummus with a little bit of olive oil earlier and i was cleaning that off. anyway and the notification icon is a heart. and they have to to call it that.

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.