Merry Christmas!!

what if everything you see right now is just a hallucination caused by inhaling oxygen

Is that why when you stop breathing you black out. 

GUYS STOP MAKING ME QUESTION MY EXISTENCE

biology is silly i already know what i’m made of. candy and disappointment

I went to see hamlet and the guy playing hamlet was rather cute and had a lot of shirtless scenes going on and so I stared at him and tried to make eye contact until he caught my eye and I wiggled my eyebrow and he broke character and smiled and after that I would catch him glancing my way and after the play was over he came into the lobby and pulled me into his dressing room and that is how I lost my virginity to someone with his own Wikipedia page

omg when i was a freshman my math teacher told the class about her divorce and everyone was like “aww sorry” but then she said “its okay cuz i still use his netflix account and netflix is all i care about”

i love pj tbh

ikr lol

writing on a whiteboard satisfies me in a way that no man ever could

eyeroll