mint

i feel that 😭 dw, it happens to me sometimes when i leave asks too 😔🤧

i think about this a lot. i’ve never been in a legit relationship, so whatever experiences of “love” i’ve had are all one-sided (rip me lmao). however, i am lowkey a simp (as said by my friends) & a hopeless romantic. i think when i first get into a group, i sort of fall in love with the members, but eventually it just turns into a “ily & i want the best for you” instead of a “ily & i want to be with you” type of love. also,, maybe with a few of my friends? but it’s usually more of a like “i really want to care for you because i really think i can care for you better than anyone else and i don’t want to lose you”, and that was sort of what i channeled for aijcrotty. but also it was 2 am when i wrote that, and i was just very soft and sad lmaoo. i appreciate you saying this though 🥺💗 i really didn’t think it seemed realistic at all, ty!!

hello!! actually, i’m pretty new to tumblr too (same as you, i’ve had it on n off for about 2 years) so i know exactly how you feel about sending asks, but know it’s much appreciated!! thank you for the lovely compliment baby 🥰✨ i’m glad my writing is enjoyable for you:)

movie nights

a/n: finally!! a new update!! ty for being so patient and lovely with me 🥺💗✨ this is sort of a filler chapter, because i wasn’t sure how to segway from all the angst of last time lmao

mina had known y/n since the eighth grade. they actually weren’t as close back then, but their mutual friend group forced them to get to know eachother and eventually spend a lot of time together. after their friend group split apart during high school, however, mina and y/n stayed close. y/n was with her when mina met her soulmate for the first time. and later, y/n opened up about her fears of loneliness, having seen all of her close friends and family meet their soulmates so young, she began to doubt herself and wonder if she would ever meet her soulmate in the first place. and mina reassured her every time. whenever y/n felt self conscious and wondered if she was good enough for a soulmate, mina was the one who pushed her doubts away and listened to her. and gradually, mina had grown protective of her. she felt that she needed to take care of y/n like a little sister. she, and later felix, were the only ones who y/n truly shared her insecurities with, and mina felt that since y/n trusted her so deeply, she should take it seriously and make sure to give her best efforts in helping her friend. when y/n and her met jieuh at a summer internship, she often would get into fights with jieuh for being too careless and endangering them all. jieuh would counter all of mina’s scoldings, saying she wasn’t their mother and thus shouldn’t worry so much about sheltering y/n from every harmful thing. y/n would be the glue to keep them all together, keeping mina and jieuh from tearing each other’s hair out and always mediating their arguments to the best of her abilities. later on, mina grew fond of jieuh’s childish nature and they found a balance within eachother. all together, the girls kept each other grounded, and they felt a sense of safety within each other.

mina was thinking about all of this as she ran to y/n’s econ class, her backpack flinging behind her, hair in a mess as it was pushed back from her face from the momentum of her running. mina had also taken care to get y/n’s favorite snacks and a warm hoodie from their apartment. she felt she had failed in protecting y/n, she was supposed to keep her from crying, save her from these types of situations.

she’s gonna be heartbroken... how am i supposed to fix this?

but mina couldn’t understand how jisung could have been so rude to y/n, he had met his soulmate for the first time and all he told her was “forget this ever happened?” what a douche...

mina reached y/n’s class, surprised to see y/n sitting outside the door, her eyes puffy and her head in her hands.

“on the bright side, i think my professor saw that there was something seriously wrong with me so i’m still getting attendance points for today...”

mina chuckled a little. leave it to y/n to joke after she’d just gotten her heart broken. “it’s gonna be okay y/nnie. do you wanna head back to the apartment or stay here? i brought snacks,” mina held the bag in question to emphasize her words.

“we can stay here, i know you have a class soon. did you bring all of your stuff?”

“yeah, i’ve got my bag. are you sure though? if you want, i can stay home with you today and we can binge watch boys over flowers?”

“i’ll be okay mins, you’ve got a quiz today, right? for biology? come on, i’ll help you study,” y/n smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. y/n was always too caring. she didn’t want to worry her friends, and mina could tell. but for now, mina would let y/n distract herself. they’d talk about everything eventually. mina helped her up and y/n hugged mina for a minute, a small “thank you” for being there for her. then, the two headed off to the campus library to study for mina’s biology test, a distraction from their suddenly complicated lives.

a/n: i wrote this a bit ago when i was feeling sad and i just wanted to project how i was feeling into a fic

also, y/s/n=your sister’s name.

genre: tiny bit of angst, mostly fluff

pairing: bang chan x reader

living with chan in seoul was bittersweet. of course you always felt very loved and you were overjoyed that you got to see your husband all the time, instead of just facetiming him like how you did throughout college. you got to cuddle with him every night and wake up to him every morning, and your heart had never felt so full. but then there were times, where you would smell a familiar smell, or see an old dessert you used to eat as a child, and you would remember your hometown and feel such a strong sense of nostalgia. you would remember staying up late and watching the little mermaid with your family, you would remember jamming out to the frozen soundtrack with your sister while you two studied together, and you would remember screaming as you were chased down the hallways by your brother. and your heart would never feel as empty as it did in those moments. chan tried his best to make you feel better, offering to take you on trips to your hometown on the rare occasion he could, but with his hectic schedule you found it selfish of you to ask him to fly out again on his breaks. so to cope, you would just text your sister, and she would send you pictures of your nephew, and you would begin to feel the familiar burning feeling at your eyes at seeing his smiling face. and chan would walk into your room and just hold you while you cried sometimes, knowing how hard it was for you, as he had been through it himself.

so one day, chan woke you up early, before dawn, and told you to get ready.

“i’ve got a surprise for you,” as he leaned down to peck your forehead, “put on some nice but comfortable clothes, love”.

“chris, i love you, but it’s four thirty in the morning, and the best present you can give to your wife is a decent night’s sleep.”

chan pulled on your arm, making you look at him. “trust me, your sleep will be the last thing you think of when you see this. now hurry, we have to get there in time!” he flashed his dimples at you and headed to your shared bathroom, leaving you a bit curious as to what splendid surprise he could have pulled off for you.

once you two were ready, you got in the car and chan began to play all of your favorite songs from your childhood.

“oh god, channie, it’s way too early for me to hear these, i seriously might start to cry,” you laughed, reaching for the dial.

he stopped you short though, only turning the music louder, humming along while smiling cheekily. you decided to go along with it, singing loudly while you held his free hand.

about a half hour later, chan pulled up to the airport.

“chan—“

“don’t worry, baby, we’re not going anywhere, i know you like to pack your things on your own.” chan pulled out a poster from the trunk of the car and grabbed your hand, leading you to the sixth terminal. and then, at 6:30 am, when all of the passengers began to scurry out, he raised the poster over his head, and your eyes widened as you finally read what was written on it.

“WELCOME TO SEOUL, Y/S/N!”

“chris, w-wait, what, my sister—“

“look over there, y/n, love.” chan pointed towards a group of people, smiling at you.

and then you saw her, standing in front of her spouse. in one hand, she had her carry on, and in the other, she held your baby nephew, of whom was looking around at the bright, fluorescent lights of the crowded airport. and your eyes met, and you felt like time had stopped. you two ran to eachother, and you immediately started crying, sobbing into her shoulder as you wrapped your arms around her tightly. chan took it upon himself to take your sister’s carry on, her own husband following chan with the rest of their luggage.

“oh my god,” you looked at her face, and she looked the same to you, maybe a bit more tired, as people do after having their first child, but she was still your older sister, who you had missed so, so much. and for the next two weeks while she stayed, you two were inseparable, holding on to your nephew whenever you could, dragging her to your favorite local coffee shops, and going to the beach together all the time.

you were surprised how much you loved taking care of your nephew. sure, he was cute, but it was more than that. he had such an interest in everything no matter how small or boring it seemed to you. it made you appreciate the little things a bit more. you would carry him around your apartment and show him various common items, like a soap bar or a banana stand, and he would laugh excitedly and reach his chubby hands out to grab said item. you grew so attached to him, wanting to just watch him play all day, and even if he was too young to talk, he loved to babble and you found it increasingly endearing every time his mouth opened.

when your sister finally had to leave, you hugged her tightly and kissed your nephew on the forehead, promising to call more often and asking her to text you once she’d safely landed. your sister was very strong, she didn’t get emotional easily, but even she had shed a few tears at her time of departure, but, once she’d turned around and began to walk into the terminal, she didn’t look back once, while you cried into chan’s chest for a bit. on the car ride home, you held his hand and looked out the window for a while, not talking much, worried that only sobs would come out. after a bit of comfortable silence, you asked chan about everything.

“when did you plan all of this, baby?” you turned your head away from the window and looked at him.

“i know you missed her a lot... you told me how growing up you loved spending time with her and how you always were really close. it’s been harder for you these days, i see how you feel nostalgic and miss home, but since i was unable to go to your home, i tried bringing a bit of your home to you,” he punctuated his words with a soft smile, glancing at you for a second before shifting his eyes back to the road.

“i don’t know what to say, thank you so so much, chris. i love you, i love you more than words can describe.” you reached for his free hand in his lap, intertwining your fingers. “i miss them so much now, these past few weeks felt like both forever and the blink of an eye.” chan rubbed his thumb against your knuckles in an effort to soothe you, “i miss my baby so much, he’s so cute and he’s gonna grow up without me!” you sighed sadly.

“hey, i thought i was your baby?” chan huffed.

you giggled to yourself. “maybe another baby wouldn’t hurt though...” your words trailed off as you looked out the window, thinking sadly about your little nephew’s smile and how it would be a would see it in person again. but you turned your head abruptly once you’d heard chan’s words.

“maybe you’re right about that...”

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: angst, fluff, i honestly don’t know at this point this is highkey a mess

a/n: inspired by the chan’s room episode bc somehow it makes me weirdly sad that chan said he’s never been in love

“chan, have you ever fallen in love?” you asked, turning your head to look at your best friend.

“fallen in lo—“ he cut himself off with a small chuckle. “y/n, come on, i can’t even fall asleep.”

he turned his face to look towards you as well, grinning cheekily at you, showing off his lovely dimples. you turned your eyes away immediately, not wanting him to see how you were dejected at his reply. of course, you knew chan wouldn’t have felt the same way about you as you did him, but hearing him say so aloud made every ounce of hope you had left in your body diminish.

“what about you, y/n, have you ever fallen in love?” you felt chan’s eyes staring at you intently, his gaze heavy on the back of your head since you had still refused to turn towards him. somehow, you felt that chan was anticipating your answer heavily.

there were a few ways you could answer his question. “yeah, chan, i’m actually in love currently! yeah, with you, the person right here next to me, who just said they’ve never been in love before.” but obviously, you weren’t going to give yourself away like that. you could lie, “no, pshh what’s love?? i don’t know what love is ahaha it’s definitely not the feeling i get when i look at your eyes...” nope, that wouldn’t work either. you took in a deep breath and tried to answer as honestly as you possibly could without giving your feelings away.

“well... i guess. i think i kinda am right now, but i’m not sure about how they feel about me,” you paused, not sure how to continue.

“what’s it like?” chan whispered. he wasn’t looking at you anymore, and somehow you thought you heard a bit of sadness in his voice. “what’s it like to be in love, y/n?”

you sucked your teeth while you thought of how to answer. “it’s kind of like, you look at the person and your heart clenches. i don’t get how, but i feel a genuine ache in my chest. i see them and all i can think is, ‘wow, this person is so amazing, what i would give to just spend all of my time with them always’. i do think it’s like falling. it’s scary, you’re unsure of how they feel, and they often don’t reciprocate how you feel,” you looked at chan for a moment, wondering if he had caught on to how you feel. he was listening with such intent that you felt his gaze bear into your soul, and a blush began to form on your cheeks. you quickly turned your head back to the sky, continuing. “i fall very fast, too. i don’t know how or why, but i think there’s always a moment in my life, where it’s like a switch, and i’ll just know that i love that person. and it hurts, it hurts because i want to tell them but i can’t, i want to protect them, but i also want to protect myself from getting hurt. i want to hold them and hug them and take care of them, but i don’t want to lose them by letting them know how i feel. it’s selfish and yet selfless. and, i think for that reason, being in love is one of the best and worst feelings on earth. it’s knowing you would do everything and anything for that person, but you’re scared to let them know so.”

chan was silent for a while, he seemed to be thinking hard about your words. did you say too much? had he caught on? no, there was no way, you were super vague about the entire thing. and then chan broke the silence.

“then, i think i’m in love with someone, too, i’ve just never realized,” he said.

you felt your heart fly for a minute, hoping again that there was a chance between you two.

“i want to take care of them and be there for them always, at their worsts and their bests. i didn’t realize, but when i look at them, my heart hurts. i think i always played it off as happiness in seeing them, since we’re so close already—” close? you started running a list of chan’s friends in your mind. from what you knew, you were his best friend, but chan was friendly and got along with many people. “—but it’s more than that. it’s the same as what you said, though. i can’t tell them, because what if i lose them?” he sighed, then turned his head to you. “but maybe, it’s better to try. i don’t want to live with the regret of never having tried, even if it means living with the loss.”

you became quiet with your next few words, wondering over his words. “but, wouldn’t it be unbearable? i can barely live while knowing that they’re not mine, even if we’re friends, but i feel i would die without them in my life. it hurts so much already, how would i survive the pain of not having them at all?” you felt your eyes begin to burn, and you forced yourself to laugh a little, trying to prevent your tears from falling.

“you deserve to have the clarity of knowing, you won’t ever live off of a ‘what if’ scenario that way, y/n. tell them how you feel, and no matter what, i’ll be here for you.”

“would you still be here if i told you that it’s you?” you began to cry now, sitting up so you could cry without showing your face to chan. “would you still stay by my side if i told you that it was you that i loved, that it’s been you since we were sixteen, that i’ve laid in bed every night for years trying to work up the courage to tell you, dreaming of what would happen if you would say you felt the same? but you don’t feel the same. i never see you look at me the way i look at you, chris. you want to know what it’s like to be in love? look at me, i’m so in love with you, i’m such an idiot, i stare at you and my entire world crumbles. the feeling i get when i’m with you, the way i smile even when i’ve had the shittiest day, that’s love.” you put your hands on your face, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes while you sobbed, trying to stop the onflow of tears from streaming down your face.

“y/n, i, please look at me? please, i, i don’t know what to say, but i don’t want to lose you. i’m not a liar, i’ll stay true to my word, i’ll stay by your side. and happily so, because it’s you, too. i love you, i don’t know how you’ll believe me, but i love you. i’m just dumb and didn’t realize it. sure, i’ve had a crush on you since we were little, but, love? i never knew it, but it’s love. i want to always comfort you, i want to be the one to dry your tears—” he held your face, using his thumbs to wipe your face as he said this, smiling softly. “and i want to make you smile and hear your laugh always. it kills me when i’m not with you, i miss you all the time, why do you think i text you every five minutes? and it would kill me to not have you in my life, if it hurts already, i can’t imagine how it would feel to live without you forever. i love you, so please, don’t worry, i won’t leave you.”

you turned your body towards him and put your face in his shoulder, sniffling softly, but smiling now. “i love you too, channie. thank you.” chan wrapped his arms around you, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head, holding you as if you’d break. and in this moment, you felt as though you would, from happiness, it all felt too surreal. were you dreaming? did chan just confess his love to you? you pulled back a little to look at his face.

“am i dreaming? is this all real, or did i fall asleep thinking about you again?”

chan laughed, tightening his grip on you. “no, but i’d like to hear more about your previous dreams about me. you think about me before bed? do tell me, what is the chan of your dreams like?” he smirked at you, and you hit his chest gently, laughing.

“you’re the chan of my dreams, idiot. and i’m never telling you about any of my dreams, they’re too embarrassing.” you buried your face into his shoulder again, hiding your blushing face.

angst ✰

fluff ❀

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