Unlimited Stag 🦌

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This blog is about the Hotwife phenomenon. I began researching the subject many years ago seeking to understand what about a Hotwife was so sexually exciting, and if I was crazy for wanting my wife to be one. Was there something screwed up in my head, that my wife having sex with other men turns me on? At the time I had no idea there was even a term for my fantasy. I found out that not only is it the most common fantasy men have, but it is also a lifestyle that is much more mainstream than I ever imagined. I also found a lot of confusion and conflicting information.There are a lot of wife sharing lifestyles, many of which overlap or share some of the same basic ideas, but too often the Hotwife lifestyle and cuckold lifestyle are depicted as being one in the same. In actuality they are very different. Unfortunately, Tumblr is probably the worst offender at spreading misinformation. It is full of captioned photos linking cuckolding and Hotwifing. Not to mention most of these photos are of young women with perfect little bodies fucking hot young guys with big cocks, which doesn’t represent reality for most people. Add to that captions saying something to the effect of how the husband is a sissy and needs to lick the cum off her when she gets home, and you can get a really distorted view. I understand these are fantasies, but anyone looking for information about the lifestyle, especially women, could be immediately turned off before having a chance to explore the true lifestyle. I hope to clarify the classic Hotwife lifestyle with this blog. The following is a compilation of information gathered from across the Internet along with my own experiences and preferences. Hopefully, for anyone who happens to stumble across it, this blog will give a little clarification into this quickly growing phenomenon.

First let’s define the Hotwife. A “Hotwife” is a happily married woman who has the freedom to have sex with other men with both the permission and encouragement of her husband. However, while the wife is free to play with others, the husband remains completely monogamous to her. The husband is turned on by his wife’s sexual exploits. The wife’s sexual pleasure should not be confused with romantic feelings for her sex partners. The other men just are sexual adventures, she loves her husband and both spouses understand the distinction between love and sex.

The hotwife shouldn’t be confused with other forms of wife sharing lifestyles including swinging and the aforementioned cuckolding. Swingers are typically couples that enjoy having sex with other couples, so both the husband and wife have sex with different partners. The term “cuckolding” is tossed around quite a bit these days and while “Hotwife” is often used synonymously with the term “Cuckoldress” within that lifestyle, it is a different idea. Cuckolding, while also wife-centric, focuses on demeaning and abusive behavior towards a submissive husband whom usually considers himself sexually inadequate. Where Hotwifing could be considered the polar opposite of cuckolding. It focuses on the wife’s experiences. Hotwives and their husbands are motivated by the sexual thrill, for its own sake. The exhilaration she gets having sex with other men and knowing that this excites her husband. Humiliation has no part in it. Recently the term Stag, for the husband, and Vixen, for the wife, have starting to be used to further define this lifestyle and distance it from Cuckolding.

Clearly, the Hotwife concept is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness, so it’s no surprise most wives are shocked to learn of their husband’s desire. At the same time, most husbands wouldn’t allow their wives to become Hotwives. Although they may entertain these thoughts in fantasies; possessiveness, jealousy and cultural conditioning ultimately prevail. However, we know that some husbands seem to handle this without ill effects on the relationship. The jealousy often still exists, but comes out in their sexual excitement, rather than through fear or anger. And some husbands seem to just be immune to jealousy, either by virtue of their own personality, or by their confidence in the security of their relationship and the love they share with their wives. Surprising to most people, couples that participate in the Hotwife lifestyle aren’t unhappily married couples that have fallen out of love and are just looking for a way to fuck around. In most cases, the couples have been together for a very long time and are very much in love. They still have great sex just maybe not as often as they would like. By exploring this lifestyle they experience more physical and emotional intimacy and end up having better sex, having it more often and being more adventurous when they do it. That being said, these types of relationships are not for everybody. Many couples may dip their toes into these waters, and yanked them out again, because of jealousy and fear. Furthermore, if you have an unhealthy relationship, venturing into the lifestyle is just asking for trouble.

So why would a husband who truly loved his wife want to see her with another man? There are many answers and it varies from husband to husband. I think most are voyeuristic in nature, but the underlying answer is that it’s his love and deep emotional connection with his wife that’s at the core. It’s his wife having sex with others that excites him; not strangers having sex with which he has no emotional connection. He gets turned on seeing his wife excited and feeling free, in the throes of passion achieving greater sexual pleasure through the attentions of more than one man. It makes her more appealing and naughty, basically letting her inner slut out.

So why would a wife who truly loves her husband want have sex with other men? As with the husband, there can be many reasons. For some, they like feeling desired or they may enjoy being seduced. Others may simply enjoy the opportunity for sexual variety, the excitement of new sexual experiences, the “forbidden” nature of what she’s doing and knowing that it excites her husband. In many cases it improves relationships communication and intimacy, as well as, supercharging her sex life with their husband. Some women may immediately embrace the opportunity for sexual freedom, but most will take some time to weigh how it will affect her marriage and your feelings toward her. Many wives will suspicious that you have some ulterior motive… that its just a ploy for you to later say that since she is fucking other guys, that you should be able to fuck other women too. In this case, it will take time for her to truly believe that this is not your desire. It should be noted that, of course, many wives are not interested in becoming Hotwives, even though she may enjoy sex and may have had numerous sexual partners before marriage, and may even enjoy Hotwire role play, actually being a Hotwife is just not something she will ever be comfortable with. In this situation the husband should not push his wife into doing anything she doesn’t want to do. If for no other reason than it defeats the idea of the fantasy, but more importantly it will most likely damage your relationship.

Hotwifing has several levels of involvement by the husband. The arrangement between each husband and wife will be specific to them depending on the couple and what they prefer. There are no set rules; it depends entirely on the partners to set the boundaries and limitations. The wife may meet other men alone. The husband may never know or meet the other men. She meets them on her own, and makes all the arrangements without any involvement from her husband. The other men may or may not know about her lifestyle, or be aware that the husband knows about them. They may not even know she is married, if she chooses to remove her rings and pretend to be single. Sometimes both the husband and wife meet men together. The husband could even be the one who finds other men or helps make arrangements for the wife to meet her “dates”, but the husband is not involved in any sexual activities between the wife and the other men. Other wives will have sexual relations with other men in her husband’s presence, or even engaging in sexual play that involves all three, as part of threesome where she first has sex with the other men and then her husband, or both with her at once. Whatever the level of involvement, the husband is turned on by his wife’s sexual exploits, whether this happens with his direct involvement or with him just watching or hearing her recount later when she returns home from a date.

So you are now one of the millions of women who learned she has a husband with fantasies

about you having sex with other men. Welcome to our club. Hopefully you’re past the shock. Maybe you have even reached that point where there is no need for me to tell you how lucky you are. If you’re not then you WILL reach that point if you follow what other wives like me have learned.

If you’re like most of us, you were unaware that your husband had these desires. You were living the married life thinking that you knew your husband better than he knew himself. Ha! Too funny.

Depending on how long you’ve been married, things may or may not have cooled off in the bedroom. Face it. The rut comes to every bedroom. If it hasn’t don’t be lulled into thinking it won’t happen to you. Some of you may have already had affairs or even had thoughts of leaving your husband out of sheer boredom. Then you somehow found out about his secret fantasy, and hopefully decided that there is a solution for the both of you. Lucky you, even if you don’t know it yet.

He wants you to have sex with another man. Wow. Unsure about it? Don’t feel alone. I did too. But take a moment and think about the potential. See all of those other unhappy women out there in boring, sexless marriages? See all those other women around you having affairs, lying to themselves and their husbands, and risking messy divorces? Don’t laugh at them. They were once you, or could have been you. But now you will end up different from them. If you read this and follow it you’re going to find yourself on a road that will return you to sexual fulfillment, feeling as confident as when you were first married, in love with your husband again and appreciating him more than ever.

You are on the way to becoming a Hot Wife.

A Hot Wife is a woman who is free to have sex with others with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement. The level of her husband’s involvement can vary. In fact it will be up to YOU. Some wives play completely on their own, with no interaction with her husband. Others enjoy their husband watching or participating. However, in all these relationships the wife is free to play with others, while the husband remains completely monogamous and faithful only to her.

Sound crazy? Well believe me when I tell you it is easy to do and your sex life will be better than you imagine. In this new relationship the husband is often called a cuckold, which just means a man with a cheating wife. Of course cheating is a misnomer, since the wife’s actions are not hidden from the husband, and he is very aware of her activities. In fact his awareness and approval is one of the most important ingredients. It will turn him on like nothing you’ve ever done before.

I assume you’re reading this because you’ve finally found out about your husband’s desires and you are contemplating the Hot Wife lifestyle. Good for you, but you may want some advice.

First, go slowly. Do not rush it. Having a husband that enjoys this lifestyle is different, so you need to nurture the relationship first and foremost, while moving into the lifestyle slowly. It might take time before you are comfortable having full on sex in front of him, or he may take time to become accustomed to watching or knowing you are out being intimate with other men. What you want to do is encourage his desires for you to be with other men, and make it as pleasurable for him as it is for you.

If you go slowly and follow my advice, in time you will have a husband that will let you do anything sexually. Anything! And he will want you to do more. He will find himself anticipating it as much as you (maybe more than you). He will get his sexual satisfaction from YOUR encounters with other men, and most importantly he will be drawn to you like never before, and more in love with you than at any time in your marriage!

In the Hot Wife lifestyle there are three levels of involvement for your husband:

1. You meet other men alone with no involvement from your husband. He may never know them or meet the other men in your life. You meet them on your own, and make all arrangements without any approval from your husband. The other men may or may not know about your lifestyle, or be aware that your husband knows about them. They may not even know you’re married, if you choose to remove your rings and pretend to be single.

2. You meet other men together with your husband, with him knowing them, and them knowing of him. However any interaction between both men is more on a social or perhaps friendship level. Your husband is not involved in any sexual activities between you and the other man. Your husband could even be the one who finds other men or helps make arrangements for you to meet them (your “dates”). But your husband is not included in your sexual encounters, except possibly left to hear them via an open phone call while they are happening.

3. Having sexual relations with other men in your husband’s presence, or even engaging in some sexual play that involves all three of you, ménage à trois style. In the classic cuckold arrangement you engage in sexual play with your lover while your husband watches, but he does not play at all.

As an extension of this situation, there can be involvement of the husband in the classic ménage-a-trois arrangement, or traditional three ways. This could involve any degree of sex, which all three agree upon. Some wives prefer their husband be involved sexually and that is your choice. As you will see this will all become about YOUR preferences.

Any of these levels can be appropriate, depending on the couple and what they prefer. It’s important to know where you, and to a lesser extent your husband, wish to take things, so open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries. Just make sure that the “other” man fully understands everything as well. It’s important for him to know upfront where he fits into the couple’s relationship. It’s also important that he respect any boundaries you set out (you set the boundaries, NOT your husband).

With proper techniques, a new Hot Wife can quickly learn how to get the most from her sexual encounters AND help her husband find new levels of pleasure from a more passive role than he is likely to have experienced earlier in your marriage. This takes time though, as most husbands are accustomed to being the spouse in charge.

As you begin, you MUST remember one very important fact. Hot Wife is not just about sex. It’s also about CONTROL. If you are like most women, your husband has been in control so far in your marriage. Right? Well, now you can change that.

Hot Wife is about what YOU want. YOUR sexual pleasure. YOUR sexual control. I know it sounds strange. But once you’ve experienced it you WILL enjoy it immensely! Think YOU not HIM. As selfish as it may sound at first, doing so will turn him on more than anything you’ve ever done yet! The change in you by itself will begin to arouse him.

Now, here’s what to do the first few times. After that, once you’ve got a taste of it (and he’s thirsty for more), you can do as you damn well please. After all, you are the Hot Wife! (You won’t read stuff like this anywhere else.)

Remember rule #1 - The goal is for YOU to be in control of the sex, not him. You do what you want; when you want; and how you want; with whom you want and have him go along with it. Got it?

First, you have to set the groundwork from the beginning. If you do it right, he will be totally faithful and a perfect husband to you, as he learns to get his sexual satisfaction in the lifestyle as a result of YOUR being satisfied. Meanwhile you can have fun with your new freedom and let out the little slut that’s bottled up inside every woman.

DON’T let him decide what kind of sex or how much sex or who you should have sex with. Remember this - NO CHOICE and NO VOICE. He should have no say in whether or not you jack a man off, or if you chose to screw the entire staff of Starbucks. He should have no say in whether you go out to another mans home, or bring a man into your bedroom. He should have no say in when it happens, or whom you choose. Once you allow him to have a say, then you let the control slip back to him. That’s NOT what you want. You want to be the one in control. Trust me, YOU will love it once it happens, and HE will too (even if he doesn’t know why).

When you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact tone. Don’t give him a choice in the matter. Say, “I’m having someone over tomorrow evening and we’re going to spend some time in bed.” Or say, “I’m going out with someone Friday night and I plan to go home with him afterward”. That’s it. You can share as many details as you want (before and after) but don’t let him try to influence you or allow him to shape the event. Be firm. Make it clear that you are making the decision because it’s what you want. Take control of your sexuality and control that aspect of your relationship for that night. Send the message that you’re in charge.

If you want, it’s fine to tell him what’s going to happen before you do it. That is a big part of the excitement for many couples. Share all of the details you wish. But the idea is to show him that you’ve made a decision based on YOUR needs and desires, and his needs are secondary to your needs right now. Show him that you’re a horny woman who’s taken charge of getting yourself satisfied without him. The idea that you will go to another man for your sexual fulfillment will drive him crazy with lust for you (trust me!).

It’s also important to keep him involved every step of the way. Share everything. Depending on your relationship level, you may want to keep him abreast of your discussions with the other man, share details of your plans, etc. It’s important to keep him involved, but as a SPECTATOR and NOT a participant.

This creates a sexually charged experience for him, even before you have ANY sex at all! If you are having thoughts about calling someone to meet this weekend, tell him. Let the suspense and excitement build. It’s a game. Share it with him and it will excite you BOTH.

When the big day arrives to meet a man, be deliberately aloof and distant from your husband the entire day. Give him some tasks to keep him busy, maybe something that helps prepare for your evening. Perhaps send him out to buy a nice bottle of wine, or tidy up around the household.

Many couples enjoy the ritual of the husband helping the wife prepare herself for a date. You can have him help you bathe or shower, and dry you off. Have him put on your panties and stockings. I talk to my husband and tease him, I tell him to get me ready for the other man’s cock, etc.

Doing this lays the groundwork early on. It puts you in charge and creates an atmosphere where he begins to mentally relinquish his rights to you, as part of turning you over to another man. Doing this also reinforces the new power you have. It will also make the sex more intense between the two of you during the next few days, when he takes charge of you again. It’s an important part of the game that has powerful appeal, and helps bond you together.

If you are having a man over, have your husband arrange the areas where you will entertain (living room, bedroom, ect). Dim the lights. Light some candles and put on some quiet music as you wait. If he will be present in the bedroom, have him prepare an area off to the side from where he will watch.

When the man arrives, EVERYTHING should change. Discuss beforehand what your husband’s role will be. Assuming that he remains present, there are certain things you can do to set the tone, and create an unforgettable night for him AND you.

First, have it prearranged for him to sit somewhere out of the way, so that you and your lover can carry on as if your husband is NOT THERE AT ALL (this is VERY important). I usually tell the other man to ignore my husband. After the early pleasantries my husband seldom interacts with us at all. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting.

When the man arrives at your home, don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour. This is a common mistake. It’s too awkward to prolong things. Everyone knows he’s there for sex. There’s no reason to delay. Since it’s all about sex, look for the first chance to break the ice and get started. This is part of your “take charge” persona that comes with the control you’ve assumed. Show your desire for the other man by initiating intimacy while your husband watches.

If I know him from previous dates I often give a full kiss to my “date” right in the doorway and linger, perhaps even lightly rub his crotch a bit, giving him a chance to return the grope.

Then I walk him into the living room, with my husband either following or already waiting for us. Depending on the man, I sometimes prefer to have an adult video playing on the TV with the volume turned down, and pleasant music playing lightly in the background. With a nice glass of wine this is a sure-fire way to get things going without much delay.

You can linger there if you want, or wildly strip off your clothes and jump on him, or lead him to the bedroom. It’s up to you. You’re the Hot Wife. Some women like to tease their husbands for a while. Others just like to plop down in the doorway and start sucking within seconds. It’s up to you. Do what turns YOU on. YOU are in charge.

Some wives like to NOT look at or talk to their husband AT ALL, especially during the first few times he watches. But some husbands want their wives to look them in the eye while they’re enjoying their new lover. It can be very exciting to tell your husband how GOOD it feels, how much BIGGER he is than your husband, and how much BETTER the sex feels. Cuckold husbands want their hotwives to have the BEST sexual experience of their lives, so let him know that is what you are getting. It can be extremely sexy either to ask if it’s OK for your lover to cum inside of you, or for your husband to hear you TELL your lover to cum inside of you. And be sure to let your husband know each and every time you orgasm with your new lover. On the other hand, you can try to totally PRETEND HE’S NOT THERE. Some watching husbands love this. They like to think they are anonymously watching you have a secret sexual affair. But in any case, they want to see you lost with your lover, while they get a front row seat to the best live porn they will ever experience.

Here’s more advice for the first few times. ENJOY yourself! Don’t be shy or act inhibited. Don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him.

Many women feel inhibited and reserved with their husband watching, but this hinders what you want to accomplish. He wants to see you in the throes of wild passion, without a care in the world (least of all worrying about your husband). It may take you some time to do it, but putting him out of your mind should be your goal.

Here’s another tip - treat your lover like you treated your husband WHEN YOU WERE DATING. Ladies, you know what this means. Let your slut come out! Plenty of oral sex. Plenty of fucking. Multiple times if possible. Give him all he wants, until he can’t see straight and you can’t walk straight! When he’s done, continue to pamper him EXACTLY as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door.

After he leaves, you think you’re done and now it’s time for some sleep? Surprise girl! It’s not close to being over yet.

The next step is VERY important if you want to keep doing this. It’s important that your husband support your Hot Wife life, and that he be behind you all the way. So, even if you’re tired, you must immediately turn ALL your attention to your husband. Turn off the distant, sex-starved Hot Wife games you played earlier and become ALL HIS AGAIN!

Let him reclaim you as his own. Reassure him that you’re still his wife and that you love him even MORE for allowing you this night of pleasure! Depending on the couple, you may or may not have sex right away, or even for days after (this is up to you two). He may even have masturbated earlier, while watching you. I know some husbands who just watch without a hard-on but then end up fucking their wives like madmen for days after the date. Many husbands will want to perform CLEAN UP duty. This is where the husband licks the lovers cum from the wife’s pussy or off of her breasts. It can be EXTREMELY arousing for both involved! It’s a primal reaction serving to both reclaim the wife and show the husband’s subservience to her pleasure. But even though they desire this, most husbands will not do this on their own. Your husband may want you to ORDER HIM to perform clean up duty. This maintains the woman’s sexual dominance in all areas of the Hot Wife lifestyle. But each relationship is different. Do what’s right for you two.

But as soon as the other man departs you must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again. Make sure he receives the love and pleasure and release he needs to REINFORCE his desire to watch you do it again.

Over the next few days, reassure him that you love him and care about him, that you’re his wife forever. Most importantly, remind him that you LOVE the fact that he lets enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed that night. Tease him while replaying the night over and over. Tell him you can’t wait to do it again. Tell him how self-assured and unique he is to be able to share you the way he does, and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you.

Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your husband for weeks after he watches, and he will be more attentive and loving than he was before you started these games. That’s just another benefit of the lifestyle. When that happens, you’ll become hooked on the Hot Wife lifestyle, and so will he.

If you do this, the lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever enjoyed together. In time, his most intense sexual pleasure will come from you HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE, as crazy as that might sound. And what could be better for you? You get to take charge of your sex life. You get to explore new sexual horizons most married women never experience. Your husband will love and adore you more than he ever has, and you BOTH stay sexually fulfilled.