cadence

"You need a hug?"

"Need me to kiss it better?"

"Need me to do that for you?"

"Have you been sleeping okay?"

"I'll handle this, you go sit down."

"I'm here for you, no matter what."

"Look at me, look at me… it's okay."

"You getting cold? Need a blanket?"

"They did what?? I'll get the shovel."

"You're burning up, do you feel okay?"

"Nope, sit back down, You're not okay."

"No, don't put yourself down like that…"

"I'm going to bring you something to eat."

"Don't worry, I remembered the band-aids."

"It's okay to cry, I'm not going to judge you."

"Of course I care about you, why wouldn't I?"

"You're enough. You've always been enough."

"Of course you can get a cuddle, come here!"

"You shouldn't let them talk to you like that…"

"I brought you some tea for your sore throat."

"You're okay. You're totally okay. Deep breath."

"Please just listen to me and take it easy today."

"Are you doing okay? You seem really stressed?"

"Everything's gonna be okay, I'll make sure of it."

"C'mon, let's get you to bed. You look exhausted."

"Hey, if you ever need anything, call me. I mean it."

"Don't worry, I'll cover this. You can buy next time."

"I brought you something to eat. You looked hungry."

"Hey, deep breath. It's not as big and bad as it seems."

"Do you need me to fight them for you? Because I will."

"I'll be a shoulder to cry on, however literally you need."

"You getting too warm? Need something cold to drink?"

"Brought some more tissues and snacks, feeling any better?"

"You're overextending yourself, don't you think? Let me help."

"I believe in you. You can do this. And I'll be right behind you."

"I'll take care of everything. Your only job is getting better, alright?"

"I saw these at the store and remembered you really liked them, so…"

"You don't need to apologize to me. It's not a burden looking after you."

"You're gonna give me grey hairs, making me worry about you like this."

"You're doing your best. I'm not going to ask any more of you than that."

"You don't need to prove yourself to me. I already know you're amazing."

"I don't need you looking after me, I need you to worry about yourself, okay?"

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She starts nodding at the list of requests, eyes widening at the end: "Oh, I can choose the movie?" that's new, and followed by a beaming smile, "I don't know if I can think of something ridiculous, maybe we should google for that--I know there is one with sharks flying, but..." she still sounds nervous, but less, "I have a giant bag of popcorn. But I could also order in-I've always wondered what it would be like to order from lots of different places... Becca, my sister, likes routine, so I wouldn't know when to start..."

❛ and no worries on the food. lucky for you, huckleberry and i are loyal customers of practically every takeout joint in a 10-mile radius. ❜ trinity wasn't a half bad cook, but with the increased responsibilities of her r2 year and whitaker being gone half the time, there was never much time nor need for a homecooked meal.

Surviving off of the shitty protein bar wasn't doing anything for her day and her smile had turned fake and syrupy instead of genuine . It's when she knew she was at her limit .

The door pushed open and Igraine falters for a moment seeing Santos standing there with a redbull , that was a better idea than salad , but maybe someone had changed the coffee filter so she could have both protein and caffeine .

❝ Hey , there , ❞ she smiled and slipped past her , quickly pulling her salad from the fridge and shoving a forkful of lettuce and steak in her mouth . She leaned back against the wall opposite of Santos . She apologized , ❝ sorry , but this is my first full meal of the day . ❞

She nodded , ❝ I'm covering a shift to help out for a friend. I forgot how hard it was to pull a full 24 and I am not a fan , ❞ she shrugged and shoved another bite into her mouth and moaned .

trinity shifts a bit, leaning back against the sink, when the doctor moves towards the fridge. she slows on the red bull, taking much less aggressive sips than usual, as she watches the other doctor pull out a salad. that seemed like a much better choice than the granola bar santos had scarfed down for lunch. with a shake of her head, she says, ❛ no worries. i've been there. ❜

finishing off the can, she crushes it in her hands and tosses it in the recycling bin. the edge of her mouth lifts slightly in amusement at dr. hale's very clear enjoyment of her meal. she can't blame her, though. it's days like today, the ones that trudge on, the cases nonstop but routine enough to lack a needed adrenaline boost, that make breaks like this feel like a gift. ❛ yeah, they're pretty brutal, ❜ trinity responds. ❛ the things we do for friendship, i guess. ❜

dr. hale's offer throws her for a loop. it's been a month since her first day, since she created a langdon-shaped hole in the ed, and it was... okay. she'd spent a week walking on eggshells, keeping her head down and staying out of trouble. since then she's developed a few tentative friendships, but outside of a kit kat bar and light gossip, there hasn't really been much sharing. so it does shock her a bit, someone she barely knows–a coworker–casually offering her a meal.

She waits for Santos to choose what to do while she rubs her face with her hands, trying to calm down her breathing and to figure out if she needs an EKG again or she's safe one more time. Now if she could only stop crying for a second. But it's terrifying to imagine her life once everybody knows, once her limitations are fixed and no one will let her work over hours or do more than she's supposed to.

trinity walks to the sink, using the time it takes to wash her hands to think about what to say. or if she should even say anything. it seemed pretty clear by her reaction that samira wasn't looking to share this moment with anyone, and if there's anything trinity understands, it's wanting to be left alone. she's essentially decided to clear the space when samira speaks again.

i lied about my panic disorder. she barely has time to process that statement before samira continues. i have a heart condition. there's about a million thoughts running through her head, most trying to wrap around the idea of samira lying about something so serious. when she thinks about it for more than a few seconds, though, she finds it's actually not that shocking. this is samira, after all. the last thing she would want is to have something impede her work, especially in the high adrenaline environment of the emergency department.