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i feel... i feel like i am drawining through the cracks like i am just falling endlessly trying to go up, why is it so hard? why should everything be this hard, i have no idea what iam doing or why, i just feel lost and very very scared of the future, it feels like i am countinusely stepping on an unknown land and if i do not step forward i will just keep faling back, i hate this feeling i hate going back to a cave i though i have way long left behind bbut it feels like i have been standing in the same spot all along i keep trying and working on and on but everything is so hard the opurtinitesa re way too little and i have no idea what i am doing i feel just like i am chained having no idea what to do or where to go or how to get free.