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-Mike has been pretending to be someone else too. Perhaps for longer. Through season 3, he acts like he’s moved on from DnD, games, hanging out with the party, and all the little things that make him his nerdy self. Everyone (Hopper, Lucas, Will, Dustin, and Max) points out that there is something off about Mike and El’s relationship - that he's keeping her to himself and that he's ignoring his friends to be with her. In contrast, we have Lucas and Max who balance their relationship and their friendships. Mike later picks a fight with Will that feels irreversible when Will calls him out on this behaviour in 3x3. That entire fight could be Mike projecting, but he was especially projecting with the “What did you think? That we were going to sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?” line. When El moves away, we see Mike join Hellfire Club, indulging himself in his interests once again. We haven’t once seen Mike talk about these interests with El outside of season 1, where she ignored him:

gif by @beaulesbian

He feels embarrassed at the end of season 3 for getting excited about presents. The costume designer for s4 even confirmed that it was scripted in the Airport scene that Mike was dressing up a certain way out of his norm to fit in. All this coupled with what Mike says in 4x8 in the van - “someday she’s going to realise that I’m just some random nerd who got lucky” further proves that he thinks he’s not worthy of El unless he’s someone who is not just a random lucky nerd - which is what he was, technically in that moment (but he is also so much more, and we will circle back to that in a bit) Mike has spent so much time trying to be someone he’s not that he isn't sure about his feelings for El anymore, because-

-Mike is scared he’s lost Will -his best friend- in this process. This is the third time Mike has lost Will and this time according to him, it’s his own doing (“I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.”). The fight from season 3 and the ending of season 3 are two of the Mike and Will moments that stand out before the Byers move to California. In the fight, Mike indirectly tells Will that it’s time to grow up and move on from DnD, and in the finale, Will is shown to have sort of moved on from it. He gives away his stuff and says he’ll just use Mike’s set when he comes back - that is if Mike still wants to play. And Mike for a moment feels reassured that Will didn’t take his comments during the rain fight to heart. He thinks they’re separating on good terms and that their friendship has been mended, except he’s going to realise soon that it hasn’t. Will starts to pull away and doesn’t reach out, as Mike accused him of in 4x2. Will thinks that if he has to lose Mike, he should do it quickly, like ripping of a band-aid. But Mike doesn’t know that this is because Will has romantic feelings for him and that it’s Will trying to deal with his own struggles. Mike genuinely believes that something he did (probably said, during the rain fight) is the reason he’s lost Will. And this hurts because Mike has always been authentically himself around Will.

Mike is now stuck pretending to be someone he is not in a relationship, and as a consequence, he thinks he has lost his best friend, with whom he could always be himself. And all this pretending because-

-Mike has put El on a pedestal. This could be because of her powers, or because of who he thinks he should be in a relationship with a girl because she is canonically the first girl to have shown interest in him.

The first ever character description of Mike Wheeler states that not having a girlfriend is one of his insecurities.

This also explains why Mike lashed out at Will in the most hurtful way he could think of when Will called her “some stupid girl” he was ruining the party to swap spit with (3x3). But as we’ve seen over and over again, Mike and El are just not compatible in their interests. Normally, that is something couples can easily work through together, but Mike has been trying to mould himself into someone that he thinks is compatible with El - straying further away from who he is, and El has been doing the same for Mike - both of them losing themselves in this process.

I think by the end of season 4, it’s very evident that both of them are tired of pretending to be someone they’re not. Because El got a taste of individuality. She has learned from Max and Owens and even Brenner that the choices she makes doesn’t define whether she is a monster or a superhero - but who she is as a person. She has realised that she is content in being a good person and not a superhero.

Meanwhile, Mike spent all his time away from El in Will's company in season 4, understanding that in their time apart, Will never stopped considering Mike as his best friend. Mike realises that Will is just as devastated as he is about their withering friendship (4x2, rink-o-mania fight) and that he is still able to be vulnerable and his true self around Will (literally every heart-to-heart they had in s4). Mike, for the first time in almost two years (apart from his time in Hellfire), has been able to experience what it’s like to be himself again because he's never felt the need to change himself to be around Will.

Mike can’t balance his relationship with Will and El because he is two different people around each one of them.

Will’s veiled confession turns out to be exactly the way Mike wished El (or anyone) loved him - like he is their equal, and like he is worthy of the person he loves. This is why he reacts this positively to Will's words:

Except that is not El's truth. That’s not how El feels (because El has been putting him on a pedestal too) ("Everyone looks at me like I'm a monster. You look at me like I'm a monster"). They’re Will’s feelings.

Will and Mike at this point in canon, consider each other as equals while Mike and El consider themselves inadequate to be with one another.

Everything that transpires after is just an unreasonable amount of chaos for drama tbh. They could’ve made Mike be honest with El in a moment of calm and talk out his insecurities if they wanted to fix that relationship. Have him reassure her that they can fix what’s broken with proper communication, but instead, Mike’s love confession during yet another high-stakes situation is laced with half-truths and him bringing back the whole El being his superhero concept (In direct contrast to Jonathan and Nancy describing how good the both of them are as people in their 4x1 love declarations while talking in sync to Fred and Argyle). This is followed by El decidedly not talking to Mike properly for two days after that monologue nor seeking comfort in him when she's just experienced one of the worst losses in her life. Mike is still drifting towards Will at the end because now that he’s got a taste of what being himself around his best friend feels like again, he’s finding it hard to let go.

Both Mike and El seem a little done with each other just before the final byler heart-to-heart, and I can only imagine that they’re going to break up at the beginning of season 5 because both of them have realised that they deserve better and that’s it’s neither of their faults. They’re kids who are learning what they want in life and that’s okay. They jumped into a relationship when they were 13 and it didn't work out for them. For them to rebuild a friendship instead would be monumental because they truly do make a great team when they don't have all this relationship drama suffocating them.

Where does this leave us with Mike and Will in season 5? Imagine Mike finding out that the Van scene confession was from Will himself. A possibility he’s never thought of because he believes he’s not lovable just the way he is. Mike finding out that the person he feels like he can be himself around the most loves him romantically, and that the same person also feels like a mistake except when he’s around Mike, because Mike makes him feel safe. And this person is someone who has seen the ups and downs of Mike for almost a decade. I don’t think Mike is going to take that very lightly. In fact, I think it’s going to rock his entire world. Because Mike will finally realise that Will never ever gave up on them. That Will’s been secretly and silently hoping for them to be more for a long time and reciprocation doesn’t feel like a long shot to Mike because loving and being around Will is so, so easy.

I’d always been a Mike is dealing with internalised homophobia truther, but I’m starting to think that Mike might actually just be more emotionally repressed and insecure. To the point that he’s constantly pretending to be someone he’s not. I don’t think he’s scared of being perceived as a queer person (seeing as how he always stuck with Will and defended him strongly against the homophobic bullies. And how in the beginning of season 4, he feels comfortable being seen by his high school classmates as a nerd or a freak) but I think he’s worried he’s never going to be enough for the person he loves. And Will has already proven that Mike just as he is, is everything and beyond to him. Will thinks he’s a nerd(very affectionately), he’s a leader, he’s his the heart, he’s Will’s safe space, he’s Will’s go-to person, and he’s Will’s forever (“We can just play DnD and Nintendo for the rest of our lives”)(“I’ll always need you, Mike”). Mike feels the same way about Will too. He’s just going to realise that oh, all this will stay the same and maybe be even more incredible when they shift their friendship to a romantic relationship.

Mike is going to fall harder than ever once he finds out that Will is in love with him and I honestly think Mike is already halfway there. He just can’t seem to put it together because he’s always loved Will this way. Mike is finally going to realise that he can spend the rest of his life in a loving relationship with the person who understands him best. The person he understands best. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks because holy shit, Will Byers loves him (and vice-versa)