Literal Trash Healer

I am the very model of a modern Warrior of Light

I’ve had to unite many sides; from dragonflight to socialite.

I’ve gone to different worlds and defeated Primal’s left and right

Ultima Thule was different, though, Endsinger gave me quite the fright.

But I challenged Zenos at the end and fist-fought him with all my might

The bad guy’s gone and once again my friends and I have won the fight

So let’s celebrate and take a break it’s time to settle down they said,

But if I’m not there to save the day then everyone could wind up dead…

All: IF THEY’RE NOT THERE TO SAVE THE DAY THEN EVERYONE COULD WIND UP DEAD All: IF THEY’RE NOT THERE TO SAVE THE DAY THEN EVERYONE COULD WIND UP DEAD All: IF THEY’RE NOT THERE TO SAVE THE DAY THEN EVERYBODY'S GONNA WIND UP DEAD.

I‘m very good at pushing past my limits when I take damage

In combat I’m unmatched my job-stones give me quite the advantage

Fact: It is impossible for adventurers (player characters) to lose mgp at the gold saucer, and we are heavily restricted on what we can spend gil on, instead encouraged to play games and do events to get our shiny rewards.

Fact: All the games at the Gold Saucer are geared towards the proclivities of adventurers; dodging enemy attacks, climbing ridiculous mountains, and other very physical tasks. Chocobo Racing and Lord of Vermillion are also geared towards adventurers who have the strength, stamina, and breadth of travel to make their bo/team the best they can.

Fact: Godbert Manderville may be a madman, but he's also a business genius.

I suspect that there is an "Adventurer" rate for mgp purchase and game access. I suspect that non-adventurers pay more for MGP, can lose MGP on the games, and pay to participate in the GATEs.

We are not the target clientele of the Gold Saucer. That is the wealthy nobles and merchants of Ul'dah and beyond, who have money to spend on fine food, drink, and games. And who doubtless wish to admire and emulate the physical ability of the adventurers running around Slice is Right and Leap of Faith.

We are the entertainment, the dolphins who keep the whales spending, and we're paid in hairstyles and glamour items.