take this pink ribbon off my eyes

INTRODUCING JOSIE FRANKLIN 

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( halle bailey, cis woman, she/her/hers, muse h ) oh snap! is that JOSEPHINE FRANKLIN? they work over at high volume where some of the other employees have labeled them as THE PRISTINE. that’s probably because they can be a bit ( reliable. ) but also pretty ( gullible. ) they’re 18 and they’ve been living in woodstock for EIGHTEEN YEARS. it must be their shift because i totally hear SPICE GIRLS blasting from the record store. ( aesthetics: long phone conversations with friends, always nodding, biting your nails when no one is looking, pleated skirts. ) [ @volumeupdates ]

jamie’s eyebrows raised. he understood why josie left her parents’ house– he was actually kind of proud of her for making her own path and all that– but he’d be damned if he let her go homeless. he figured that out of all the employees at high volume, with all of their beefs and differences, that was the one thing they would probably all agree on. “fuck no. promise you’ll come knocking at my place before you ever do that, ‘kay? i don’t care if it’s 3 in the morning. and i’m sure kc and marty would agree you’re not imposing.”

“I’m alright,” he lies effortlessly, and gives her a smile for good measure. “She’s doing well, too. She’s been in classes all day.” He felt better knowing Violet’s college schedule (given his youngest two were still at school and their schedule was obvious). He naturally worried about his siblings, so knowing their whereabouts at all times helped control that worry to an extent, especially when he’s at work or with friends. “She mentioned the other day that now I see you more than she does,” he jokes lightly.

THAT MAKES THE SMILE ON HIS FACE GROW WIDER, finding the humor in josie’s quest to watch footloose.   “ oh my god, that’s great, ”   he lets out a laugh too, and hopefully it doesn’t seem directed at her.   “ you’re definitely gonna resonate with it. it’s about this girl who’s the paster’s daughter, and they’re like super strict—the pastor and his wife, i mean, but also the town of footloose—and they don’t let her do anything. but the daughter is a baddie anyway, and she totally has the hots for kevin bacon—you know, the main dude. i won’t spoil anything, but you’ll have to let me know what you think. it’s a classic, ”   he nods, all this being said as he slowly walks down the stacks of movies, trying to spot the spine. 

“ what ? ”   getting scolded by an eighteen year old makes him laugh, glancing from josie to his grandmother, who clearly missed him being chided, otherwise she would’ve joined in as well.   “ sweet, ”   he snorts, shaking his head.   “ please, she’s holding me here hostage while dinner is waiting for us at home. don’t let the churchiness fool you, she’s far from sweet. ”   but eric’s words are heavy with sarcasm, even if he could easily point out that she fired her only grandson not even six months ago. he’s gotten to the point with grandma aggie that, even though it still bothers him, he doesn’t bring it up. he’s trying to show that he can move on, at least in theory.   “ people would probably say the same about your parents, you know, ”   he adds with an arched brow to prove his point, before pulling the movie out from the shelf and offering it to her. 

THE THOUGHT OF WATCHING A MOVIE BEING SEEN AS REBELLIOUS might seem trivial to some but it’s a step in the right direction for josie. she had everything in her life controlled and scrutinized and even the smallest of freedoms had been out of reach for so long. “ i think i’m definitely going relate to it. ” of course her parents would never ban dance, josie was a cheerleader after all. she follows along as they both look for the movie. she hopes that watching the movie will give her some sense of not feeling crazy, like she made the right decision by not going back to her parents. 

🎸

last time they were in an arcade, it was for fun. un-preoccupied, uncomplicated fun with sloane. now? it’s a necessary fun, always having to fill their day with something other than opportunities for their mind to wander. and, as far as company goes, marty will never complain about josie’s. at josie’s question, she smirks, finger up to tell josie to wait a moment. as soon as they feel the coins around their pocket, they smile, nodding. “tell you what —” she takes out the coins she has. there’s always something random that comes out of their pockets and, this time, it was a piece of paper with a tic-tac-toe game they can’t remember playing “—you beat that high score, you don’t have to pay me back.” as if marty would demand any payment either way. they give josie the few coins they have, shoving the paper back in their pocket. “i’ll even buy us something to drink after, alcoholic or not, your choice.” even if marty would no doubt turn hers into an alcoholic one, either way. there’s many wonders inside her backpack, after all. ”but you gotta kick…” marty looks at the high score list. “…jon’s ass at this. whoever that fucker is. deal?”

being at the arcade when it wasn’t for a birthday party or some sort of chaperoned outing with friends was weird for josie. but freeing. a lot of things had been like that lately. although she was terrified of the unknown, always growing up in fear and anxiety, josie tried to push those thoughts aside when it came to the weird feelings. she wanted to embrace them instead of run from them like she used to. she gives marty a warm smile. “i don’t know if i can beat that high score, it’s up in the thousands!” josie says with a laugh. she had never played before, even though it was one of the most innocuous and innocent games of the arcade. she took marty’s coins and nodded. “deal. i’ll see if i can beat him. any tips?” 

– BLAIR’S BROW KNITS TOGETHER FOR A BEAT. guilt is not a feeling that she’s very familiar with. usually she can find a way to justify her actions to herself, to tell herself she did the right thing. but she’s more selfish than josie, and knows that. “ why ? ” she asks, “ i mean, what could you have done any differently ? well, what could you have done that wouldn’t have just been making yourself miserable to make them happy ? ” she asks. she just genuinely doesn’t get how josie could feel bad about it. “ they aren’t the ones who couldn’t compromise. ” 

the look she flashes josie is slightly reproachful. still, it makes her stomach turn thinking about josie sweating over parents that didn’t seem to give a shit. blair’s been in the same boat, in her own way. while her parents were the opposite of strict, they also never really tried to get to know her. it seems like something similar could be said of josie’s parents, who didn’t seem to know or care what she wanted for her future, so much so that josie hid her college deferrals for months.

“ honestly, that’s why i usually wind up staying up so late, ” blair says. “ there’s never time for this kind of stuff during the day. too loud. ” she leans forward to press her brush to the wall again, deep blue, ripples on water. “ but it’s worth it. how’s stuff with the band going ? ethan would probably let you write a couple songs, if you wanted. ” 

JOSIE WISHES SHE COULD ERASE the part of her the felt guilt, but it was an intrinsic part of her personality at this point. she wouldn’t know how to feel shameless if she tried. she listens to blair and knows that the older girl is right. but there’s still always going to be that gnawing feeling in the back of her mind. that she could’ve done something different, she could’ve been better. “ i know. i think there’s just a part of me that will always feel guilty. you know, for not being the daughter that they wanted. ” but honestly, josie wasn’t sure if there was a daughter that they wanted. they were always wanting more and more and more and she felt like she could never be enough. she felt as if she were clawing her way to get into their arms, to their approval but always coming up short. 

josie tries to allow herself to paint without really thinking about what she’s painting. every time she’s done something creative, she’s always been doing it for the approval of someone else. she tried to paint without thinking about how it looked or what people would think of it if she showed them. but even then, she looked at her painting with a critical eye, thinking of improvements for the next time she painted. 

“ better, yeah. much better, thanks. ” he smiles, sitting himself up slightly against the pillows. he’s not exactly pain-free, and he wants nothing more than to get out of this town for good, but hey, he’s alive. so he shakes his head at her request. “ no, i’m okay. my appetite is a little weird now. ” kem admits, more so she’ll believe him since it’s been so difficult trying to convince max otherwise. “ how are things with you ? tell me anything, i’m sick of hearing the nurses’ gossip. ”

josie nods and gives kem a small smile. “ i’m glad to hear you’re feeling better. i’m really sorry that happened to you. ” she couldn’t really understand why it happened to him. of all people. she was always taught that if you were a good person, good things would happen for you and kem was the last person who deserved to be in the hospital from being attacked. “ well, i guess the main new thing with me is that i’m no longer living with my parents. i don’t know if you saw the newspapers but...they certainly did. ”

THIS IS WHAT ERIC GETS FOR VISITING HIS GRANDMA AT WORK :   stuck behind the cash register, checking out customers, while his grandma puts off leaving the store with her assistant manager. he blames his mom for telling him to hitch a ride to their house with her in the first place, rather than her picking him up at his apartment.   “ we’re going to miss dinner, ”   he calls to his grandmother when the last customer in line leaves, but grandma aggie merely shakes her hand at him, still setting up the latest display case. heaving a sigh, eric sinks back into the seat behind the counter, only looking up when he feels someone’s presence that is definitely not his grandma’s. 

the sight of josie makes him smile immediately, mostly just grateful it’s not another person asking for movie help. except—   “ you’re kidding, ”   he laughs, sitting up and folding his hands on the counter.   “ a pastor’s daughter, watching footloose ?   what, does it resonate with you ? ”   he teases, before looking around. it’s only been a few months since working at the store, but it takes him a moment to remember where to find it.   “ i’m assuming you’ve looked in the F section ? ”   he offers, but noticing a customer’s starting to come up to get checked out, eric quickly scrambles out of his chair.   “ you know what, let me show you. she may have put it in the musical section, they’re always changing things here. the owners here is a mad woman, ”   he adds in a voice loud enough for his grandmother to hear, but as someone used to eric trying to get a reaction, she pretends she doesn’t hear him.  

JOSIE IS SO ENTHRALLED WITH THE IDEA of watching the things she never could. it might seem silly to some others, but this in itself was an act of rebellion and defiance against her parents. they had always told her what not to wear, watch, listen to, and now, she had the freedom to find out what they were shielding her from. even if she wound up being scared or hating it, she just wanted the chance to see it. she wanted to chance to think for herself and know what they were so scared of her finding out. 

“Josie, hey.” He gives his coworker a smile, accompanied by a small nod. He was sitting alone, and whenever Chase was alone it meant he was in his own head. Usually, that didn’t bother him. He enjoyed solitude; it gave him the time to think and arrange whatever was going in his mind. However, recently, with everything that happened, he’s grateful to have company, seeing it as a good attempt at a distraction. “No, go ahead, please.” He waves at the seat. “How are you?”

“Hi Chase.” She greets Chase back with a friendly smile and a little energetic wave. After spending so much time cooped up in her room or High Volume, Josie welcomed any kind of outing, no matter how small. “I’m good. What about you? How’s Violet?”

it almost felt bizarre, coming to work every day as though everything was normal and some gang hadn’t just made an attempt on their lives (on your life, jamie often had to remind himself. it was you they thought they were cornering). but he couldn’t imagine doing anything else, especially with a side business to maintain behind the counter. he’d become an expert at keeping the drug transactions discreet around his other coworkers, and josie was no exception. with the trouble she’d gotten into with her family, there was no need to implicate her in anything illegal. “yeah, no problem,” jamie assured her, his voice slightly laced with concern. “you haven’t been sleeping here, have you? i feel like you’re always on shift now.”

josie didn’t really understand everything about the gang activity. her parents had sheltered her so much from the world that she never even thought that there were any gangs in woodstock until recently. it was funny, really, how her parents would constantly strike fear and feelings of inadequacy in her while simultaneously trying to protect her from ever getting hurt. but josie couldn’t think about all of that, she had to keep herself distracted. high volume was good for that. “no, i haven’t but it might be a good idea. i feel like i’m imposing when i crash on people’s couch.” 

being in an arcade wasn’t exactly a new thing for josie. she had been here for birthday parties and the occasional hang out with her friends. but she never really played that many games her parents put it into her mind that video games were poison. the only one that they would let her play was ms. pacman because apparently, she was a good wife. and now that josie was playing these video games that her parents told her would rot her brain and implant evil ideas into her, she didn’t see what the big deal was. sure, zombie revenge was a little graphic but it’s not like it wasn’t fun. josie finished playing the game and went searching in her pocket for coins for another game. she bit her lip and turned to marty. “do you have any coins? i’ll pay you back, i promise, i just wanna play a quick game of asteroids.” 

– BLAIR SMILES AT JOSIE’S REPLY. “ good. i mean, you should be. i’d be worried if you felt any way else, ” blair says, “ it was a long time coming, wasn’t it ? ” people aren’t meant to be trapped, is what blair thinks, there’s something inside all of them that wants to be free, or to at least FEEL free, even when the aren’t. cages closed too tight are how revolutions start. and that’s what was going on in the franklin house – on a smaller scale. that’s a prison if blair has ever seen one, and eventually, the pastor had slammed the door a little too hard. inevitable. 

still, blair can remember how lonely it was after the first rush of freedom for her, and she doesn’t want things to be the same for josie. she’ll always have roots to put down here, if she wants. it’s weird, the memories that josie’s experience is bringing up, even if they do have very little in common. the ability to make sure that josie comes out of this safe feels a little like a second chance. granted, ‘safe’ in like, the proverbial sense. they’re still gonna have some fun.

“ the living room, ” blair says, leading josie through the house and passing her a spare brush. she gestures to the wall, a design made up of half-painted koi fish, before sitting down cross-legged, “ as long as it looks good, i’m sure ethan won’t mind. it’s your canvas. ” worst case scenario, they’ll just paint back over it. 

JOSIE KNOWS THAT BLAIR IS RIGHT, that was she’s feeling is the right thing to feel. but she can’t shake the guilt off of her from feeling relieved from being away from her parents. “ i think it was a long time coming. but i still feel guilty for some reason. ” maybe it was because she should’ve been sadder. her parents essentially kicked her out and all josie could think about was how she didn’t need to sneak out anymore and how she didn’t need to live in that house that wasn’t a home. the only time she felt sad was when she realized she wasn’t sad. 

josie is thankful it happened now though. if it had happened earlier, she wouldn’t know what to do. but now that she felt like she had a good group of people around her, divorced from her church and her good girl school days and her family, she felt like maybe she could do this. if this had happened earlier, before she started sneaking out, josie wouldn’t know what to do with herself. 

josie could finally go to freddy’s without feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt. sure, there were still twinges of it, given who she was. but walking through the doors and going into the diner without having to worry about sneaking out felt a bit like freedom. it was a small step of freedom, but a step nonetheless. she went to the counter and saw chase. “hey, anyone sitting here?” she asked, pointing to the empty seat next to him. 

ever since josie had ran away from home been kicked out, going to high volume was something she made her number one priority. of course, it was a high priority before but now? she actually needed the money unlike she ever needed it before. she wanted to be more independent. she had spent so much of her life depending on her parents and building her self of identity and worth around them. and now she wanted to be her own person. so she picked up even more shifts and worked even harder. despite her being a hard worker, at the end of her shift, she was feeling a little bit tired from the amount she had been working. she yawned. she turned to jamie. “can you take over for a few minutes? i just need to take like a five minute nap.”

weirdly, josie felt like she was in her element when she was in hospitals. maybe it was because she had been in so many through her years of volunteering through the church but when it came down it, it was probably because she had a soul that liked helping other people. and as much as she felt in her element, it didn’t sting any less to see kem in a hospital bed. she had convinced max to leave his side and get something to eat and told her she would watch kem. “so how are you feeling?” she asked him, as she sat down beside his bed. “do you need anything?”

josie was having an absolute field day looking at all of the movies that were on her watchlist that she never got to watch. she had always wanted to watch the movie, footloose, but her parents forbade it because it was apparently an anti-christian movie. but josie loved dancing and really wanted to see it when it first came out. she couldn’t even go to see it at a friend’s house for a sleepover because her parents would call them up before she went and let them know what they could and could not watch.