I'm Attention Deficit in High Definition

Two people do not decide that they are "courting". One person decides to "court" someone else. It's an action, not a stage in the relationship. A man decides to court a woman because he wants to encourage her to have romantic interest in him. He's trying to win her favor. It's not an exclusive relationship--a woman could be courted by multiple men at once. She'll spend time getting to know the guy who's interested in her, but they won't officially define their relationship as one where they only show romantic interest in each other. If they reach a point where they want it to be exclusive, that's when you propose.

bizarrely, America has in many ways gotten more conservative about dating since World War II.

For example: Beowulf does not follow the hero's journey. I have a pet theory that Beowulf is three or four stories that kind of got mashed together since it's a collection of a couple vignettes about this warrior's life and the dragon episode is rather disconnected from Grendel (unless you're John Gardner, who ties it all together in his novel Grendel). Beowulf emerges as a full-blown hero when he enters the narrative, does not have a mentor, does not refuse the call (and rather wholeheartedly embraces it in fact - "Not only am I gonna slay your monster, I'm gonna slay your monster with my ass hanging out to show off"), does not live in the normal world at any point. One could argue he returns with the elixir to his home, given that the later story has him as a king, but the story's not interested in explaining much about how that happened and keeps going after the hero's journey would claim it should end, instead jumping to Beowulf's noble sacrificial death. You really have to squeeze to fit Beowulf into that framework, and by the point where it does, you've lost all semblance of a common structure the monomyth claims to represent. Arguably, the Iliad doesn't it either, given the scope of the story is a lot smaller than some people seem to believe.

Like I get the point that the original post was making about the western canon being so heavy with authors from the US and western Europe and not caring much about works from cultures beyond that, but I feel it's worth noting that even if you grade Campbell's ideas on the most generous possible curve, they don't hold up.

And even if we pretend they did, he never intended them as a writing guide. They were only popularized as one when George Lucas took that structure and adapted it to Star Wars.

I'm talkin white people selling rattles and dream catchers, white people banging First Nations style drums, white people teaching talking stick workshops, that kinda shit

So what do you do when you see this crap? How do you show your disapproval in a way that makes them give a shit?

I'll tell you what I do. The point is to show them that appropriating Indigenous cultures will lose them customers.

When I see fakey Native art I say something like "Oh wow, you make dreamcatchers! What nation are you from?" (Use tribe in the states)

I used to ask point blank if they were Native, but I'd nearly always get some Cherokee great grandmother bullshit, or even "I'm not sure, I could have some Native in me!"

Most of the time they don't know what I'm talking about, because they're not Native and don't know that this is a very normal thing to ask when meeting another Native.

When they ask me what I mean I say "I mean your tribe, which First Nation are you from?"

This is the point where they sheepishly mumble that they are not First Nations.

I let my face fall and say something like "Oh. That's disappointing" or "Wow. Unfortunate."

I let it get awkward. And then I leave, shaking my head in disapproval.

You may feel like you need to educate them on cultural appropriation but here's the thing: it's 2025. They know. Brenda the middle class reiki shaman is FULLY aware that her smudge fans are stolen culture. She doesn't care. The only way to make them care is to hit them where it hurts: the wallet.

Make them think that you would have purchased what they are selling if it was AUTHENTIC.

If you wanna go the extra mile send an email to the organizers, in your best white people voice, and tell them that you are disappointed that they are facilitating culture theft.

One of the things that ended up driving us apart in the end though is that they didn’t believe me when I told them this. They didn’t believe that I didn’t care about their disabilities. They didn’t believe that I was prepared to support them because my love turned all of that work into nothing.

As we drifted apart I learned something about myself. I can only fight to try to make someone believe that I care about them for so long. The hospital visits, the care tasks, the financial stuff, the limitations, I don’t care about. I could do that forever without a second thought. Fighting to be believed though? To have my love for someone questioned by them at every turn? I can’t do that.

One of the things that ended up driving us apart in the end though is that they didn’t believe me when I told them this. They didn’t believe that I didn’t care about their disabilities. They didn’t believe that I was prepared to support them because my love turned all of that work into nothing.

As we drifted apart I learned something about myself. I can only fight to try to make someone believe that I care about them for so long. The hospital visits, the care tasks, the financial stuff, the limitations, I don’t care about. I could do that forever without a second thought. Fighting to be believed though? To have my love for someone questioned by them at every turn? I can’t do that.

So this is what a Goblin Shark actually looks like…

imagine this alien species you heard so much about, that helped save your planet, finally after years shows up on your doorstep and everyone's like scrambling to get together every scrap of information about eridians that they got from grace to be as welcoming as possible, but when the ship finally lands (you briefly wonder why they chose the ocean but probably it's just easier to land there) these rocks come out in suits perfectly crafted for the atmosphere and gravity, walk up to you and hold out their hand to you. you think, huh, weird that these aliens have the same customs as us humans re handshaking, but reach out to shake their hand anyway. maybe you even actually realise that they might be imitating what they have learned from Grace, but you certainly don't expect it, when, after the pleasantries are over, the alien explains to you that due to the geopolitical situation on earth they elected to land on international waters, they already thought about the difficulties of establishing contact with a planet made up of multiple countries not necessarily working together and thus see the United Nations as a good starting point, but also they have these notes on them if you'd be so kind to distribute them, they just need you email address. you are too shocked to get any words out save for 'hgnk' and instead you hold out your business card with shaking fingers, only to immediately have a panic attack because you just handed a card to someone who cant SEE this has to be the greatest faux pas in the entirety of human history. but the alien seems completely unfazed, almost as if they were expecting it, just facing a weird implement in their suit in the direction of the card, while their other arm is? placing something in your hand? you retract your hand and then stare without comprehending at a rectangle of some sort of material with raised text, which for some reason reads:

E.T.

Human-Eridian Liaison Officer

Human Eridian Liason and Logistics Organisation (HELLO)

E-Mail: [email protected]