Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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trying on a metaphor

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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todays bird

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@pine-fruit

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who gave you the right
Fuck. Off
stacey’s dad ♪
is getting really sad ♪
The Day Beyoncé Turned Black SNL Skit
omfg
The actual fuck..

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Reasons why ive been asked to leave class
i said that the government was a bunch of dick heads and we should all just set the white house on fire and kept calling students who tried to defend the government “dick heads in training”
brought 6 whole pizzas in their boxes to class and was blocking the view of students
I kept sneezing during a lecture
Got really mad at some guy who wouldnt shut the hell up behind me and was flirting with some girl so i told him to shut the fuck up and she doesnt want to suck your dick and to take his frat boy ass and move.
Was signing dirty words and funny shit to my deaf friend and making him laugh. But because he’s deaf he didnt realize how loud he was being. so we both got asked to leave
poured water on some kids test after i was done with mine because i saw him copying off me the whole time.
Kept cussing too much during a socratic seminar about censorship to prove a point. and when they got mad at me i said “You trying to censor my words?”
made toast
had a dog in my backpack and said i had to take him to the vet after the class and didnt have time to run home and get him. he puked on the floor. which is why he had to go to the vet.
wait i forgot the time i made a shirt with my professors face on in and the moment i walked in and before i even sat down he pointed to the door and said “for gods sake can we have one day without this shit?”
This is so fxcking grand (๑>◡<๑)
my favorite side effect warning is for antidepressants
pros: you won’t want to kill yourself
cons: you might want to kill yourself
Back when I was in a psychiatric hospital, and was offered antidepressants, my mother had declined them due to that apparent side effect. So the staff actually explained about this effect antidepressants have, that give reason to that warning. When first taking antidepressants they raise up your energy first. So that you have the energy to do the tasks you might have avoided doing due to your depression. Because of this those who were already suicidal, now have the energy to go do so. Which is the ones this warning is given for. It’s not that a side effect of antidepressants magically makes you want to kill yourself, it’s the energy it gives those who were already struggling with suicidal issues, to actually attempt the act.
Very informative…
Wow. I’m so glad you explained that. Now I understand
My high school choir/psych teacher actually told is about this. She also said if you have a suicidal friend who starts seeming like they might be getting better because they have more energy, that’s the time to be cautious because that’s when they may still be suicidal but they’ll actually have the energy to go through with it
THIS. a thousand times THIS. I had it explained to me in my AP psychology class in high school. super fucking important.
thanks elevators for bringing me up when i was down

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Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool
i don’t know what this means but i agree
Translation: When she continues to give you a blowjob after you already came.

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what kind of dog is that
A VERY LONG MAJESTIC ONE