Monique

i wish i was more stable. Mentally stable...I feel like i'm wasting my years in this room and i'm becoming bitter. I feel like i'm waiting for some savior that is NOT coming and i shouldn't even expect that. I have to be the one to get myself back up...It's just hard. I don't know what to do or where to go. There's not much support at home, atleast emotionally..I feel like they are kind of making it worse for me. Probably not even on purpose, which hurts even more cause it means we just don't get along. I wish things were different, better. I know i'm probably pain to be around too but i'm also dealing with bpd and chronic depression. I just wish they would be a little kinder to me or kept their mean opinions for themself. Why everytime i try to talk to them, share something, they have to somehow disagree. Like i feel like they look at me as if i'm something less than them. I don't think it's fair...And in the end i'm the problem anyways, they are never wrong and i'm soo toxic. I feel like they don't see me as a human, human like them...idk. I wish we could get along but if it's only me trying, what's the point?