"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

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@piigeonss-les-secondes
"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

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reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney
Musk is being sued for falsely suggesting a 22-year-old Jewish man was part of a neo-Nazi brawl.
Elon Musk was deposed in a recent lawsuit for falsely linking a 22-year-old Jewish man to a neo-Nazi brawl. Musk, who attempted to keep the
PLEASE read this
bankston is my HERO he’s tearing these people apart
damn
HE LEFT
????
oh my god
KILL HIM
he is DONE.
HELP ME .
wow. ok.
genuinely first two pages he says that he thinks ben’s lawyer is the one who is actually suing him and admits he has no clue what the lawsuit is about .
doing a reread now this is so cunty
goddamn .
fun fact: the Mr. Bankston here is Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who absolutely ruined Alex Jones during the Sandy Hook trial.
how in the fuck did the muskrat's attorney pass the bar
Mark Bankston is gonna make me fucking SWOON.
I don't think Mark can ever top "INDEED, MR. JONES, INDEED" and "AND THAT IS HOW I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME" from the first Sandy Hook trial in Texas (not to be confused with Chris Mattei, the attorney in the Connecticut trial), but this part
MR. SPIRO: Do you give these lectures at all of your depositions? MR. BANKSTON: I do, and you can watch them.
is ESPECIALLY hilarious to me having listened to multiple depositions Mark has had to take in the Sandy Hook case, where he has needed to lecture EVERY. SINGLE. ATTORNEY. at some point in the case about how they're violating Texas Rule XYZ, because they all, to a one, did something seriously ethically questionable during the deposition.
like, YOU CAN WATCH/LISTEN TO HIS DEPOS. HE DOES HAVE TO GIVE THOSE LECTURES EVERY TIME. IT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE.
- April 2024
793.85
card tricks
what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward
611.642
the prepuce (aka foreskin)
is a simple "please" too much to ask?
prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom
179.92
forgiveness
Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies. For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house
when i was a teenager i used to catch myself thinking "i'm really glad i'm alive right now because of all the cool personal technologies that exist" and when i did i'd think it through and reckon that well, its not like teenagers in the 70s and 80s knew they didnt have ipods or facebook or whatever. they were also happy with the tech they had. and i'd reason that in the future there would be more fun technologies that i dont know i'm missing out on right now and the future will be an even cooler time to exist
anyway i was dead fucking wrong about that last part. i hate personal technologies now. i miss having an ipod that doesnt advertise shit to me and i miss when my htc wildfire didnt harass me 45 times a day to install an ai assistant and then install it anyway when i say no and i miss when the internet wasnt 5 websites all of which i have to log into and i miss when i didnt need an app to talk to my landlord. sorry past me you were actually right about 2009

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fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d
I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty
I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.
Love, love, love reading more proof that everyone should encourage the children in their lives to write to elected officials--it teaches them about citizenship and can also be very funny.
When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.
Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.
See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.
So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:
Dear President Obama, I am writing about the environment. I am sad that the Great Barrier Reef is hurt. Also the Amazon Rainforest. Can you help? PLEASE DON'T WRITE BACK TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DOG AGAIN. WE ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT BO. WE COMPLETED THE MAZE AND COLORED HIM IN. It is good that you love your pet a lot. But try to remember the environment. It is also important.
Why can SHE spend an extravagant amount of money on clothing and accessories while people starve? And why can SHE shut down major commuter transit hubs to build a fake plastic castle in a fake wedding venue? But when I, Marie Antoinette,
Just saw the interview where Curry Barker explained that it's totally possible to get a normal wish from the One Wish Willow, and I love the way they did that so much. The reason Obsession happened isn't because it's trying to twist Bear's desires into something evil. It's not even because he phrased his want wrong. Obsession happened because Bear got his hands on a magic item that could do anything in existence, and chose to force someone to fall in love with him, which is an inherently evil thing to do.
Life gets better never give up hope
No its not i found it firstand you cant have it Finders keepers and besides Idont have anything at all in this world anymore so maybe you could just let me have this

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graffiti discourse is so stupid why the hell would I give a shit if people spraypaint their names or do some cool paintings under a bridge
sorry didn't realize the bridge has to be plain beige concrete. that was a load bearing plain beige concrete if anyone tags it the whole bridge collapses
Graffiti is modern day cave painting
every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it
this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives
do you want custody of the post
I just wanna hang out
Ship in a bottle. Saw someone post that they'd done this on FB and had to recreate it immediately.
I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

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Pride sharks! Happy pride month :D more super cute pride flags themed sharks coming soon 👀
@blakesreefium
I whisper “what the fuck” to myself 50 times a day