I’m not supposed to be sitting in my bedroom alone at 1:44am crying to poetry that hit too close to home.

I don’t love them anymore. I am satisfied with what I have. This friendship. This friendship is enough. We would not work out as lovers. I only wish I got to this point sooner. Could’ve saved myself from all that pain

The human need to feel needed is such an inconvenience.

I haven’t felt so loved and so unloved by a single person that it’s funny when I think about it

I know you love me. I know you would never hurt me. But sometimes I wish you knew how lonely I feel in this relationship.

I loved reading poetry before I met you. But it didn’t quite make sense. I did not understand why poets would crumble in pain under the blanket of love. Why love would be so excruciating. And how on earth it would be worth the pain. Then I met you, then it made sense. I understood it all —the pain, the warmth, the tears, the butterflies— it all made sense after I fell in love with you.

To make you smile, if I have to sell my soul, I will do it. If I have to lose my senses, I will. If I have to bury myself alive, there’s no hesitation. For your smile I’ll go through the lengths and breadths of this world. If I exhaust myself and die in this path, I’ll be at peace knowing my actions were worthwhile.

Are you happy? I hope you are. Even if it’s not with me. I wish you smile forever. And forevermore.

She loves him. She’s in love with him. Not me. I had hope. But she said it herself. Is this not enough of a sign for me to give up? Is this not enough for me to move on? Why do I still love her? Why do I yearn for her smile and laughter? Why do I want her to hold my face like before? Why…..am I not enough?

I love her so much it hurts. Why does it hurt? Why must it hurt? While she speaks of men and women with desire and love all I can do is sit, nod and agree. Yes they are lovely. Yes you’d be a great match. Each word stabbing my heart after the next. Why can it not be me. This is pathetic. I feel pathetic.

Seeing you like this reminded me that you do not love me. You do not like me. I will never see you acting like this at the thought of meeting me. I will never give you butterflies. I will never make you blush. I will never be yours…I will never be yours.