sai ᶻ 𝗓

well, it'd be understandable if i were in the same timeline medusa is, but i am not. i am turning into stone because my heart is rock solid—it travels through my veins 'til i feel it seep in my bones and cause unfathomable stiffness. i cannot move. not for anyone, not for me.

but remembering your existence makes me believe that perfection like you doesn't happen spontaneously. it takes a divine creator to craft someone as enchanting as you.

such a simple sentence, yet it exceeds the depth of mankind. the light surrounding your soul— the lightest energy i constantly consume, keeps me kneeling; praying to God to not take you away from me.

you're my direction, my source of purpose. without your fingers intertwined with mine, i fear i'll soon find myself lost in the misery of my own mind. you straighten the knots in my being.

as long as it's you, as long as ikaw 'yung icinocompare ko sa mga taong pumapasok sa buhay ko, magiging maayos ang lahat.

the tenderness of your voice still present despite you whispering the reasons we can not be together.

i am too distracted by the possibility of our lips connecting that i fail to focus on the fact that you're one step closer out the door.

lean in as i fill all my senses with your soul. you trace your fingers on my skin and pull my neck for a kiss, a kiss so quick that my lungs are still full of air. one that tastes like alcohol and betrayal. the most intricate notes flow out of you as i worship every inch of my favorite temple.

your lipstick mark lingers on my collarbone as you leave me out in the wild to fend for myself. such a nice shade of red, the same color as your cheeks once you get home.

you're coming back to your husband anyway, right?

it was warm and comfortable. sweet and tender. the perfect weather, they say. it was the kind of love that made flowers bloom. the kind of love where you'd bask in its presence and stay in its touch until it fades away.

though it wasn't always like that. the sun sets at the end of the day, and the wind turns cold. it's all you yearn for at night. waiting dreadful hours to experience that again, maybe that's why i was so dependent on you. you showed me love like nothing i've ever felt; but it soon goes away after a short while. why couldn't you stay? does it always have to be this codependent cycle? i always crave your warmth.

it wasn't always comfortable, though.

your rays were intense. there were times when i looked at you for too long and felt every inch of my being burnt. it was painful indulging myself in too much of you— only a healthy dosage of your love was good for me, and maybe that's why we truly weren't meant for each other. i would crave your touch but retract whenever it gets too much.

my skin is sensitive, and you were bright. so bright. i don't want to shield myself during the chances i get to be with you. i want to feel you fully; but it hurts. no amount of filters can protect me from the intensity of our connection. is this lovebombing?

i live comfortably now that i'm at a safe distance away from you.

i just get to admire you from afar, bringing joy and light to the people who can handle such. i'm sorry i couldn't be the person to appreciate your beauty and warmth. i was affected, too.