orcas my orchid

I'm so ass at measuring distance that if I woke up in a Saw trap and the only requirement was to "run 30 ft, give or take a foot or two" I would still fuck it up and get slaughtered

"How tall was the suspect" I dunno doc everyone taller than me is 6 ft and everyone shorter than me is 4 ft

I know 80 degrees is warm and 40 degrees is cold. If you told me it was 65 degrees outside I would stare at your blankly until you were like "Wear a sweater" or something. Or "Don't wear a sweater." In fact skip the number I'll just go outside myself

If I woke up in a Saw trap and the only requirement was to roughly pour out about 4 pounds worth of sand into a jar I would just ask him to kill me without wasting either of our time

Stop telling me to look up dyscalculia. I already know about vampires