sleeping under a blue moon

A moment with Phil was a moment of peace. They’d always had a little bubble around them, and even with the party still bustling all around them, with the air supplemented with sweat and glitter, it felt fresher next to her. One of her hands stayed around a half-full glass of candyfloss rose, and the other rested just above Phil’s knee. She was lucky she had legs like that - she’d always been the one to pull off dresses like that. Her thumb was in the middle of idly outlining the joint when Phil spoke up, and Jules turned to face her with a dozy blink, followed by a slight furrowing of her brow.

“What do you mean, what would I do…?” Jules paused, and with no way of answering that which wouldn’t make her feel nauseous just to say, she shrugged. “There’s no way that we are, we know that… We wouldn’t be– They wouldn’t have let us on the show, for one thing,” she pointed out, with a pout she aimed back down at Phil’s knee. It was only then that she thought to retract her hand back to her own side. “Doesn’t make sense. Remember? We’re too different…”

Phil nodded, taking in the point, and quickly forgetting at least half of it under the haze of her own making. “But what if that’s why we’re such good friends?” she asked, letting her head tip and rest on Jules’ shoulder. She’d always had such a nice one, perfect for crying, or for resting, or just for this. Oh, god. Phil closed her eyes and rested her forehead against it, letting herself experience the sensations as she began her jumbled ramble, full of nothing but the thoughts that had been occupying her head.

“I mean, perfect couples aren’t people who are the same, right? Why do we work? It’s not because we like all the same things, or because we... yeah. And maybe... maybe they liked that idea! That we could known each other all our lives and not know until we were here!”

The music was thumping, the drinks were flowing, and Phil was having a good time. Maybe too good, considering the way that if she turned her head too fast her vision would swim a bit, but she was flush enough with liquid confidence that she didn’t really mind. Especially when she had such important things to tend to, like sitting on the couch beside her best friend and draping her legs over Jules’ lap with a giggle, leaning back against the couch. She was outgoing, dammit, and she was going to keep it up with a good old fashioned dose of honest questioning!

“What if we’re the other Perfect Match?” Phil asked, finger moving to curl around her hair, keeping her tone light with the relief of finally getting such a weighty question off her back. It had been plaguing her ever since that match ceremony, where there stood that little mystery of exactly who that second beam was. “Like... I know that you were iffy about picking me, but... what if that’s the truth? What if it’s us? What would you do?”

from  champagne  to  wine  to  vodka  and  finally  to  her  dear  tequia  ,  mimi  was  already  drunk  ,  not  even  close  to  the  limit  she  drank  at  home  ,  but  enough  to  be  even  more  carefree  than  she  already  was  .  she  tossed  her  hair  from  side  to  side  as  her  hips  followed  the  rhythm  when  phil  caught  her  eye  .  the  girl  looked  drunk  too  ,  usually  quiet  and  shy  ,  now  phil  was  flirting  shamelessly  with  her  and  mimi  was  enjoying  it  .  placing  her  hands  on  her  waist  ,  mimi  pulled  her  closer  ,  dancing  with  her  .  “  oh  ,  yeah  ?  ”  she  giggled  .  “ and  how  do  you  intend  to  show  me  that  ?  ”  people  always  talked  about  not  taking  advantage  of  drunk  girls  ,  but  mimi  was  drunk  too  ,  and  even  though  phil  might  not  be  so  straight  forward  if  she  was  sober  ,  she  wanted  to  see  how  far  their  flirtations  would  go  .

“However you want to see it,” Phil promised, draping her arms over Mimi’s shoulders. It was easy, when she just let herself go, let herself move with the thumping beat of the music. “I’m best at rhythmic gymnastics...” she explained, her head tilting to the side with a goofy smile. “So if you give me a hoop, or a baton, or a ribbon... I can blow your mind.” 

Phil was two things. First, she was drunk. Second, she was looking to cause a mess. One full week of being a wallflower, and it didn’t get her anything. No match, no kiss, no sense that she was even meant to be here. If it weren’t for the fact that her name was on her suite door, she would think that she had landed here by accident.

No more, Phil thought, dancing into Mimi’s space with the confidence that was unique to someone who’d fully gone in on the Pink Whitney from the punch bowl. Her hips were moving, leaning into all the rhythm that she was trained to have. “Did you know that I’m a gymnastics coach?” she yelled over the music, taking advantage of their space to lean in a little. “So I’m crazy flexible.”

Sadie noticed the almost innocent smile on Phil’s face and flashed a genuine smile back in the other’s direction , finding the other’s smile sweet and cute. “ Are you happy for me to call you Phil, or would you prefer Philomena? ” she asked , wanting to call Phil whatever she was more comfortable with. Sadie took the drink from the other’s hand and brought it up to her lips. “ It’s nice to finally meet you , sorry I’m a little slow making my rounds around here - I’m Sadie, ” she admits. “How you finding it here so far? ”

“Phil’s good,” she answered, taking a sip of her own. “It’s shorter... and Philomena makes me feel so... formal. It’s nice to meet you, Sadie... I’m liking the house, even if it’s weird, trying to get used to everything. I mean, I’ve never been around this many possible people to date all at once, it’s kind of...” she made a loose gesture around her head, before opting to use words. “Overwhelming.”

Okay, that was a good start - Phil still had her usual friendly tone, and the question was pragmatic of her, in a typical sense. “We’ll take my room. That just makes sense, and nobody else will interrupt that way,” she reasoned, before promptly taking hold of Phil’s hand. That was just second-nature, really, and she took a slightly circuitous path back into the cabin, and then towards the stairs. Only when they were in her room did Jules let go, both of Phil’s hand and a heavy breath she’d sucked in at the bottom of the steps. “Okay, so - first thing’s first. I know we didn’t really talk about it, but I picked you anyway, and I’m sorry you didn’t get a head’s up. But– we’re okay, right?”

With Jules’ hand in hers, Phil let herself be guided without question of commentary, all the way until she was standing in the middle of Jules’ room, not sure quite what to do with her hands. All worries of how awkwardly she was standing, however, were abandoned when she began speaking. Phil listened carefully, nodding as she tried to parse out what exactly Jules was worried about. “We’re okay,” she said first, because that was the most important part. “If anything, it was a bit of a relief... I mean, I like the girls well enough, but I don’t feel like I know them well enough to say... you, you’re my perfect match. I honestly thought that maybe you had found someone, but...” Was she relieved that Jules hadn’t? Should she be upset at all that in a house full of connections and chemistry, Phil hadn’t yet felt like she’d found a soulmate? “If you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it,” she settled on with a nod. That felt reasonable enough.

“Hey,” Phil said, lingering in the doorway of the suite. She had seen Lorelai from afar, but never felt exactly free to approach. Better now than never, she figured, even if it mean that she might have to manufacture a reason or two to get there. “I heard you’d be in here,” she said, resting her head against the doorframe. “I figured since we haven’t talked... it could be smart to... touch base.”

Upon the first ceremony, Phil was reminded, with a clarity that she hadn’t expected, that she really, truly hadn’t put herself out there. It felt dangerous, going so against her nature, but then again- it was her job to. Truly. She had to say something. Anything. To reach out to her fellow ladies and really make an effort to not only be loved, but to love as well.

How this culminated in her turning to the person beside her on the couch, who’s name she was pretty confident (but not 100%) was Alana, and announcing “I think we should talk.” Then, a pause. “Or try to start a game of spin the bottle. I think... either way, we should do something. We could also get into a fight.”

Cravings were a strange thing. There was something so powerful about them, the way they were able to overcome her own pauses around social interaction, bringing Phil to a kitchen, mid party, tossing a salad. The bustle of noise around her could’ve been distracting, if it weren’t for her singular intent on fulfilling her desperate need for a salad with vinaigrette. It even got her bold enough to move up to the fridge, regardless of the girl standing in front of it. “Hey, could you... maybe...” push through, push through, “Get me a tomato?” Then, to make it seem much more charming, she flashed a smile.

The hot springs were a new location, one that Phil was admittedly hesitant to explore. She’d never been especially uncomfortable in her body, but it didn’t mean that she was especially keen to show it off, either. Because of this, she made sure to sneak in late at night, only to be surprised with the presence of someone else. 

“Oh, hey,” she said, taking a slow step inside. “I didn’t expect that you’d be here... how... are you?” she asked, pulling off the robe that she’d been wearing and draping it over her arm. “Well... there are worse things than company, right?”

[ Outside the ceremony centre || After the ceremony ]

With the matching ceremony over, Jules was mostly in high spirits. Two matches was an amazing result for their first round, and she was all about celebrating that, but before she got into it there was one little concern she had to iron out.

“Hey,” she said softly, reaching to set her hand on Phil’s arm before she could head inside with the others. “Sorry— I was just hoping we could talk, for a second?” Already, she started to watch her friend’s face, just in case. Picking Phil as her match on the first round was probably something they should have spoken about in advance, rather than simply making a pact with herself, and she wasn’t the type to bury conversations like that. “After that, we can join the party. Is that cool…?”

{ @philomenaoliver​ }

“Of course!” Came Phil’s reply, even as concern made her eyebrows dip down. She’d be lying if she said that she wasn’t relieved with Jules’ decision, in the way that it saved her from having to make a choice stronger than saying yes to something that she knew was safe. Phil looked around, watching the other ladies migrate into the house, with the two of them standing outside. She pressed her lips together, deep in thought, before deciding to posit her logistical quandary to someone much more equipped to handle it. “Should we stay outside, or do you want to go to one of our rooms?”

“Well, that’s what you’ve got me for,” Jules replied, reaching to give Phil’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “There’s only one thing that intimidates me, and I don’t think black mambas could make it all the way out here, so I’m all set. We just need a little bit of a game plan, right?” she arches an eyebrow, and flashes a winning smile. “Because they’re definitely going to remember your name… and in a little while, we’re going to have to pick who we think our perfect match is out of those eighteen women. Just– okay, let’s start here. Who’ve you managed to speak to? If you can’t remember their names, just describe them to me - I’ve been taking notes.”

“And snakes don’t scare me, while everything else intimidates me, so it’s a perfect system,” she explained to the camera, then looked back at Jules with focus. With each new name, she counted on her fingers. “Ummm... I’ve spoken to Deja, Sadie, Yuna, Mimi, and... you. What are your notes on them? My current note is that everyone is very pretty, very forward, and I can’t figure out which one is my match... that is, if I’ve even talked to my match. Ugh, what if my match is even shyer than I am?”

Deja took the bottle with a smile, her gaze lingering on the other contestant for a moment to take her in too. She was stunning, that much was clear, and she seemed…cool. There was something casual about her, compared to Deja throwing herself all over the place. Plus, she was funny too. “Well, if you really want to know…one secret about me is when I was a kid I got lost at the grocery store, and my parents had to get them to call me over the intercom. Twice,” she laughed while she poured herself a small shot. “And my name is Deja.”

—🍹

From the moment Yuna sets her bags down, she heads straight towards the kitchen, knowing that many of the other contestants will be there mingling as well. And as soon a she steps into the kitchen, her eyes gravitate towards the vodka bottle and the gorgeous woman holding it. “I’d love some!” Yuna practically skips over her, arms reaching out towards the bottle like a kid in a candy store. Pouring herself a glass, she glances over at Phil with a grin. “Exactly! Liquid courage and liquid fun.” 

As she fills up her drink, she heads towards the fridge, opening it and cheering once she pulls out some orange juice. “I don’t think I can ever drink vodka straight up, but let’s be real, there’s nothing straight about me.” She laughs and mixes some of the juice in her glass before offering to pour some to her new acquaintance.

“Well that’s good,” Phil said, smiling down at her own drink, then up at where Yuna had gone to the fridge. “That you’re not straight, I mean.” Her other hand came to her glass, holding onto it with a grip that betrayed her own nerves. “It would be totally awkward if you were just a straight girl who got lost, right?” Maybe she was risking a little with the joke, but maybe she was just quick to overthinking. What if this girl thought that she was funny, anyway? “So what’s your name, Ms...” flirtyflirtyflirty she thought, desperate trying to come up with something forward enough that it would impress Jules when she reported back, “Not Straight?” she finished. It wasn’t her best, but she had a whole conversation to recover.

mimi  still  couldn't  wrap  her  head  around  how  many  hot  women  were  there  with  her  ,  the  bartender  would  have  trouble  committing  to  just  one  .  “  generally  speaking  loosey  goosey  is  being  tipsy  enough  to  be  more  social  ,  be  a  little  more  carefree  ,  you  know  ,  ”  said  ,  taking  a  sip  of  her  drink  .  “  for  me  it's  getting  up  on  a  counter  to  dance  with  my  friends  or  starting  a  karaoke  session  in  the  middle  of  the  bar  where  everyone  sings  along  with  you  by  the  end  of  the  song  .  true  story  ,  ”  she  winked  .

Phil’s eyebrows rose, listening to the story with bald interest. “Really? Just like that? What song was it?” Any tale of such clear bravery and drunkenness was worthy of Phil’s admiration, even if it quietly told her that Mimi probably wasn’t her match. After all, wouldn’t Mimi’s match ideally be someone who could hop on that table with her?

Her heart dropped, not expecting anyone to be occupying the kitchen when she first walked in. The brunette approached the other, nodding her head as she grabbed an empty glass. “Top me up. I need all the drink I can get!” She answered, placing the empty glass in front of the other. “What’s your name?” She mused. 

Phil poured into her new company’s glass with relish and a shy smile, already a little flustered by her presence. God, those casting directors really did pick the prettiest people they could, didn’t they? Pretty, confident people, all of whom Phil felt the urgent need to impress. “My name’s Phil... short for Philomena.” She passed the drink over with a smile, chin tilted a little upward to accommodate for how tall the woman was. The effect struck her with a sense of awe, making her eyes a little wider and her breath a little shorter. “What’s your name?”