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@phillenz

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Modern communication & artificial experience (brief thoughts, wip)
The way we communicate is so broken down, for efficiency reasons (a culture of adhd & ai does not help this)
The way we communicate is also the way we think (language and intellect so on and so forth)
Short form content is easy to digest, which means YOU don't have to digest it, it already comes prechewed for you so you can basically inject everything into your brain
This gives authority TO your brain. you think it is the most efficient way of gaining intelligence etc, (we see this attitude in the huge praise for ai's fast processing power and ability to learn)
So we forget about the authority of experience, which is either crucial or actually the only valuable thing
The intellect is just what we use to make that experience intelligible to us, a psychotool which allows us to better ourselves
But the modern world has completely forgotten there is a 'self' in all of this that does the experiencing - and your entire experience becomes artificial
So, it is no surprise that there are some so adamant that we can recreate human intelligence in machine, for artificial intelligence might just be the same intelligence that comes from artificial experience
This creates a society of machines, that 1. give authority to intelligence and 2. live off of artificial experience, producing this ai craze
For the time one gains cannot be accumulated in a store house; it is contradictory to want to save up existence, which, the fact is, exists only by being spent, and there is a good case for showing that airplanes, machines, the telephone, and the radio do not make men of today happier than those of former times
~ Simone de Beauvoir, The Ethics of Ambiguity (1947)
"This heart within me i can feel, and I judge that it exists. This world I can touch, and I likewise judge that it exists. There ends all my knowledge, and the rest is construction. For if I try to seize this self of which I feel sure, if I try to define and to summarize it, it is nothing but water slipping through my fingers. [...] This very heart which is mine will forever remain indefinable to me. [...] Forever I shall be a stranger to myself."
~ Albert Camus, Myth of Sisyphus (1942)

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Science condemns itself to failure when, yielding to the infatuation with the serious, it aspires to attain being, to contain it, and to posses it; but it finds its truth if it considers itself a free engagement of thought in the given, aiming, at each discovery, to at fusion with the thing, but at the possibility of new discoveries; what the mind then projects is the concrete accomplishment of its freedom
~ Simone de Beauvoir, The Ethics of Ambiguity (1947)
“What keeps all living things busy and in motion is the striving to exist. But when existence is secured, they do not know what to do: that is why the second thing that sets them in motion is a striving to get rid of the burden of existence, not to feel it any longer, ‘to kill time’, i.e. to escape boredom.”
— Arthur Schopenhauer, The World as Will and Representation
camus said something along the lines of ‘time carries us but there comes a time when we have to carry it’ and i’ve been thinking about it a lot recently.
after graduating i very much felt the burden of time on me, my responsibility to somehow find my purpose and meaning purely by myself each and every day and, naturally, i slipped into heavy dependency on drugs, video games and relationships. i felt my mind so hooked on those things because they provided some respite from the chaos that was job hunting and application submitting, which first necissated my knowing or figuring out which direction i want my life to go in.
now, i have a full time job at a coffee shop in my small hometown and today, smoking a cigarette on my lunch break i was thinking about how both this new job and the cigarette are performing basically the same function of carrying me - providing respite from the messy thoughts about my future. and coming home from work today i thought i ought not let myself get too comfortable so i forget how to walk myself. i reminded myself i can actually do what i will as long as i truly will, so i decided to dye my hair before going to sleep despite it being way past my bedtime (as i have work tomorrow morning you see).
because i could obey the logic that leads me to thinking i need to be well rested for my day of work tomorrow so i ought not to faff around with my hair and head to sleep. but then i thought ill probably just wake up early tomorrow and have plenty of time to waste waiting to go into work, so to hell with it. and now my hair is lovely and pink and i feel so much better than i did smoking that cig on my lunch break when i felt i had to rest to prepare for the rest of my shift.
the cigarette was an escape from boredom true, but that boredom is completely self imposed. and recognising this, i think, liberates you a little from that hustle-boredom cycle schopenhauer refers to
Haunting Floral figures and arrangements on display for Halloween 2025 at Horace Walpole's Strawberry Hill House- Twickenham, UK
“Are we obliged to be faithful to our errors, even when we realize that through this faithfulness we are injuring our higher self? — No, there exists no law, no obligation, of this kind; we have to become traitors, be unfaithful, again and again abandon our ideals. We cannot advance from one period of our life into the next without passing through these pains of betrayal and then continuing to suffer them.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human, 629
Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other from the center of their existence, hence, if each one of them experiences himself from the center of his existence. Only in this 'central experience' is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis for love.
~ Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving (1956)

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Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn't have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn't have to be a walk during which you'll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don't find meaning but "steal" some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn't make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.
Albert Camus, from Notebooks 1951-1959
― Albert Camus, Notebooks: 1935-1951
Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn't have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn't have to be a walk during which you'll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don't find meaning but "steal" some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn't make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.
Albert Camus, from Notebooks 1951-1959