learning how to love myself.

I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I.

one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.

“We often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Overthinking. Fantasizing. Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. Doubting. Just let it naturally evolve.”

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”

“It’s become very apparent to me that the older you are the less praise you’re going to get. When you’re 3 and you paint a picture outside the lines, they give you gold stars. When you’re 10 and you score a goal, they take you out for ice-cream. But when you’re 17 and struggling to fit in, no one gives you a hug just for making it through the day. And when you’re 23 and pulling long hours at the office, no one asks if you’re alright. And you start to wonder if you are, if there’s a point to any of it. The answer is yes. Because good work, real good work that shapes your character, doesn’t need to be acknowledged. You grow in the silences, in the reflections, in the inhales and exhales that let you know you’ve made it from one moment to the other.”