Just A Filthy Kinnie!

the detective:

SO

Nines is undercover posing as a dirty cop, willing to take bribes and trying to network with the criminal underworld

Gavin is ALSO undercover as a kleptomaniac informant or maybe a stripper, trying to identify and then eventually arrest dirty cops

SO THEY BOTH SCAM EACH OTHER

gavin: That’s right, it’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.

—————

gavin, concerned: what the phck do you mean??

rk900: they’re both a kilogram.

gavin:…but steel’s heavier than feathers.

rk900: i know, gavin. but they’re both a kilogram.

gavin: what… … … …

_______________

gavin, standing in front of a scale: it doesn’t prove anything, i– steel’s heavier than feathers

connor: i know, but, detective, they’re both a kilogram, right? so they’re the same!

gavin: but–but look at the size of that, that’s cheating!

rk900: they’re the same weight.

gavin: …but steel’s heavier than feathers

________________

gavin: hank, tell them

hank: they’re right. they’re both a kilogram. what’s it you don’t get?

connor, quietly: gavin, are you alright?

gavin: i don’t get it

rk900: it’s alright

1.    don’t stress about unanswered asks. your inbox will gradually become unmanageable. it’s cool/flattering that people want to talk, but you don’t owe anyone responses.

2.    turning anon off lets you answer asks quickly and privately.

3.    people will not read your FAQ, or your Before You Ask rules. instead of replying in annoyance, just quickly delete these messages and move on.

4.    turn off direct messaging for non-mutuals.

5.    turn off submissions (unless you REALLY enjoy them).

6.    block block block block. one strike you’re out. don’t bother speaking to harassers - giving them unfettered access to your inbox is a form of self harm.

7.    at some point if you’re an lgbt+ ally you’ll receive messages disagreeing with your support of a sexuality/gender (trans/nonbinary/ace/bi/queer support is what mostly gets folk angry). DO NOT reply privately, they will 100% screenshot you and post it out of context. either ignore/block or put enough thought into your words that you’re willing to have them broadcasted.

8.    becoming publicly angry with someone will result in harassment being sent their way, so either message the person privately to resolve the issue, or move on. don’t be shitty.

9.    people will be outrageously vile to you. people will threaten you. when this happens, disengage from the online world. talk to friends, hug a dog, eat your favourite snack, and protect your mental health.

10.    people will treat you as an authority on subjects you’re not qualified to discuss. you are NOT an authority. like it or not, you now have the power to widely spread misinformation – either boost the voices of experts instead, or put careful research into your words. if you’re wrong, boost the correction.

Gavin: his blue eyes? WACK!

Gavin: his perfect posture? WACK!

Gavin: the way he never even smiles? WACK!!