You Were All I Ever Needed: Reiner and Identity
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything about AoT. The manga and the characters all belong to Hajime Isayama.
I know I just finished the anime recently (and I'm still emotionally recovering), but there is one scene in the emotional reunion/farewell montage that I wanted to talk about. And that's Reiner's reunion with his mother. The dialogue exchanged between them hit me particularly hard and I wanted to talk a bit about it. Aside from Jean's words to Reiner after he saved him, the scene with Ms. Braun is incredibly important for Reiner as a character. So, let's break it down.
When he addresses his mom, Reiner says "I guess I'm not the Armored Titan anymore." (In the anime, he says "apparently" instead of "I guess"). He avoids her gaze, looking disappointed.
To his surprise, his mom is happy. "Is that so? That's wonderful," Karina says. Reiner becomes confused as his mom embraces him. "I'm sorry for everything. Reiner, this is all I ever needed."
In the anime, her lines are "all this time... I'm so sorry Reiner. You were all I ever needed."
"This is all I ever needed."
"You were all I ever needed."
I can't stress just how important that last line is. His whole life, Reiner has been trying to be someone else because just Reiner wasn't enough. Being born an Eldian in Marley meant that Reiner was viewed as inferior. Like the rest of the Eldians, he lived in an internment zone, was forced to follow strict rules, had to wear an identifying armband, and was subjected to verbal abuse and Marleyan propaganda. For Reiner, his mother was one of the greatest influences in his life and we see this in his backstory.
Karina Braun strongly believed in the Marleyan propaganda about Eldians. Throughout the story, there are multiple instances where she reinforces Marley's cruel words, most notably at the dinner scene when Reiner and Gabi return home*. As Reiner was growing up, she would tell him how they were descended from devils and that devil's blood is in their veins. She tells him that because they're Eldian, neither she nor Reiner can be with Reiner's father, a Marleyan. This sparks something in Reiner and it's initially what drives him to become a Warrior. Cut to an image of a scared looking Reiner holding a gun that's comically large in his hands.
*Quick note: the dinner scene is also where Reiner gets called "the greatest weapon in the world" by his uncle I believe. Reiner's worth is again equated to his usefulness rather than who he is.
Keep in mind, Reiner is only like nine or ten years old in this image. From an incredibly young age, Reiner pushes to become a Warrior and thus an honorary Marleyan because it is the only way he can be of value in his mother's eyes. Without that, he is just an Eldian, a devil. Being just Reiner never was enough so he pushes himself to fill this role in order to get that validation. And my gosh, does he push himself. He pushes himself so much that he only finds up hurting his psyche even more.
As he hugs him mother goodbye, she expresses excitement at the idea of being one step closer to becoming an honorary Marleyan, reinforcing Reiner's actions. Later, just as he is about to leave for Paradis, Reiner finds his dad. Instead of being greeted with relief or praise for his accomplishment, he is harshly rejected. The man calls Reiner a devil and leaves in rage. Once again, Reiner just being himself isn't enough.
The story progresses and we witness Reiner's identity get torn apart every which way. There's Marcel revealing Reiner was never supposed to be chosen, which does hurt him. Later, Marcel dies and Reiner, desperate as ever, takes on his traits. As a soldier, Reiner befriends the other cadets, in action that causes him great psychological distress after he reveals himself and Bertolt. It's during the Eren and Ymir heist that Reiner frequently goes back and forth between being a warrior and soldier. The Marcel part of his mind believes he's a soldier, leading to Bertolt correcting him. Eventually, Reiner returns home and used as Marley's weapon. But Reiner is far from ok.
Just who is Reiner Braun at this point? Is he a Warrior? Is he a soldier? Is he Marcel??? I doubt Reiner himself even knows. He even says to Annie that "Reiner is dead" and "if you needed Marcel, then I'll be Marcel." Back to my point, Reiner has been psychologically ripped apart, trying to fill all of these different roles, and it's hurting him. The shame and guilt that he carries from what he did on Paradis haunt him to the point where he contemplates suicide, only stopping when he hears Falco's voice outside his home. This goal he had of saving humanity and becoming an honorary Marelyan did not turn out the way he hoped. The more he pushed forward, the more his actions brought pain and suffering, both to others and himself.
As the story reaches its conclusion, Reiner understands the weight of his sins. He apologizes to Jean and to Annie, taking full responsibility for what he did. From there, he helps the Alliance defeat Eren and the Rumbling. And now, I want to swing back to my original point: the importance to Karina Braun's words.
Reiner is a person who has tried to be someone else his entire life. It has caused him great pain. It has caused others great pain. Had his mother loved him unconditionally from the start, would Reiner have gone down the path he did? Would his life have been as painful as it was? I think that would be an interesting story to explore. The real Reiner has been buried under so many different names that we the audience need to do some detective work to figure out who he is. But when Reiner is finally told that he was all his mother ever needed, not a soldier, not the Armored Titan, but just himself, he is moved to tears. For the first time in his life, Reiner's worth does not equate to what he can do or what he defines himself as. For the first time, his worth comes from the fact that he's just Reiner and that's enough. It was his mother that originally told Reiner that they were only devils and seeing that their relationship come full circle without any conditions is so emotionally satisfying.
It's such a beautiful and validating moment. What makes Reiner relatable to me is watching him try and take on this numerous identities throughout the show because it's something all of us do. As we get older, we are trying to figure out who we are. For some people, that comes easy; they find people who love them as they are and can navigate life with little judgment for what they do. But for others, Reiner included, life can be a nightmare. For some people, they are told to hide who they are or struggle to figure out what they want to do in life. Some people might even act different around other people in order to fit in or please others. I myself have been in that position and I have struggled with certain aspects of myself. But when you find someone who truly loves you and sees you for who you are, it is one of the most beautiful and incredible feelings ever.
Reiner found that in the end. To me, that line from his mom marks a turning point. As he rebuilds his identity without that pressure to be someone else, Reiner can begin to heal. It won't be an easy or short journey, but it will be worth it in the end.
Thank you everyone for reading by little ramble about Reiner! He is my favorite character and I love his complexity. At the core of his character, there is a very human story about identity and the struggle to find yourself when all you've done is put on a mask. I love Reiner deeply and I know that my rewatch/reread of AoT will bring an even greater understanding of him. Take care!
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