Introduction and Purpose of My Blog
I’m at a position in my life where I feel...stuck. I’m sure this is a scenerio many know well just in different and unique ways. A blog has been something I've been planning to do for quite some time but never got around to it. Right now feels like the right time.
I will give a basic jist about me but I want to expand upon them in seperate posts as time goes on. Then see how much has changed. I’m a 25 year old demiboy going through a life crisis and feeling like I’m either at a dead end or crossroads. I've been dealing with some "health stuff" and "mental stuff" for the past few years. I put those in quotes because I'm not entirely sure what I’m dealing with and it's been really unclear what doctors think. This is something I will expand upon in later posts.
My interests have evolved over time and frankly, I can barely keep track of them. The social sciences, specifically philosophy, sociology, pedagogy, economics (heterodoxic economics specifically), psychology, psychiatry, post-psychiatry/anti-psychiatry, critical theory, politics, epstimology, anarchism, socialism. I could go on and on. Outside of that sphere I have an interest in art, drawing, animation, fashion, nature, music, guitar, gaming (sorta has changed now), and various aesthetic movements like hauntology, weirdcore, dreamcore, and liminal spaces.
I haven't been able to spend too much time with many of my interests as of late which again I'll explain with time. But these these things mean a lot to me, some more than others, some stronger on one day than another. I'm hoping a blog will get me more motivated to get back to them.
Ultimately the purpose of this blog is to serve a few purposes:
Facilitate and aid my interests (talk about music or things I’m learning for example)
Organize my thoughts and reflect on things
A place to make notes on things I read or resources I consume
Have discussions and form relations with like minded people on topics of interest
And a place to just vent and get the verbal diarrhea that just stews in my head and causes me to pace constantly
There might be more reasons but this is all I got.
Why Tumblr?
I think one of the things that turned me away from Tumblr initially was what the demographic was and the "culture shock" as I'm new to the platform. It seems like Tumblr is more geared towards fandoms, aesthetics, some shitposting, but then I thought "Wait I’m in some fandoms (Hazbin/Helluva, Welcome Home, Furry, etc), into aesthetics, and a little tomfoolery" so that's already covered XD. All I have to worry about now is culture shock. The other reason was it didn't seem like a serious place to call my own. Alternatives for me were Neocites, Blogger, or Bear Blog. Neocities was out of the question (for now) as I didn't want to bother with learning HTML. Blogger was a no because I don’t want to start off that seriously. Bear blogs was a no because it was just too small in terms of community.
So really Tumblr offered the following advantages for me:
An unserious place to not worry about my deteriorating writing skills and grammar.
Get my feet wet in writing and blogging
A place to form community out of shared interests, like mindedness, or other reasons
Microblogging allows me to have balance between something more professional and casual (I guess)
A very queer space, which I desperately need.
Perhaps there will come a day where I evolve past Tumblr, but who knows.
The Name and Theme of My Blog
Jacques Derrida's coinage of the term "hauntology" has really influenced me. Especially Mark Fisher's additions to it. On a deeper more personal level, I felt attatched to the idea of being haunted by futures that never materialized, hence the dreams. How individual past histories to societal, and political histories have shaped our lives and haunt us growing up. How interesting it is that we seem to be completely engrossed with nostalgia for childhood or pasts we never grew up with as if they were some magnum opus of human existence. We see hauntology everywhere, through nostaglia of Y2K aesthetics, vaporwave, and so on. Liminality comes in where hauntology exits. If hauntology is about how the past disrupts the present, liminality comes in to be the transitional phase between that present that is disrupted and the future. So to me, it's a form of reconciliation and comfort, harmony. I will really dig deep into hauntology more at later times from a personal perspective and how it's made me see the world differently. I want emphasize this that this blog is not purely about hauntology itself but is more of an aesthetic choice.
Concluding Introduction
I probably didnt need to go all out like this for an introductory post but I did it anyway. I really want to get an introduction done and dusted and move onto the things that really matter to me. I think my first post will be more geared towards the circumstance I find myself in right now. I also gotta keep exploring with Tumblr and learn how to use it and how I can incorporate ideas of what I want to do with it. Also get better at writing at some point like god damn...
What this blog is NOT
This blog is NOT a place of complete knowledge and understanding of things. Many of my more passionate blog posts are just me venting my heart out and having a place to say what is on my mind, often abstracting from an intellectual point of view. This blog is mostly me learning about things in real time or having very strong emotional reactions to what I learn and dumping it all in a place where it's no longer stuck in my head causing me more distress. I'd like to be more intellectual but I think those dreams are over. My big fear is that as I have become more frustrated over time in life and disillusioned, I have distanced myself from ever possibly engaging with things intellectually. I have noticed this internally, and it puts me in danger of entering the realms of pseudo-intellectualism or just speaking in very basic emotional populist terms. Instead I propose an alternative to how you should see my blog: See my posts as a means to spark your own innate curiosity as to why someone like me feels the way I do. And when I bring up certain topics and subjects, please engage with them with the same curiosity and do your own research and come to your own conclusions, build your own understanding. And if you know more about a topic that I discuss, get wrong, misunderstand/represent, etc., please let me know! I will edit my blog to add extra context or update, I want people to teach me new things!












