I want to lie in what little grass remains... @phagodyke - Tumblr Blog

ぎゅうぎゅう。

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my power is out for the next 2 days which means I don't have a functional stove or fridge or hot water and also various emotional anvils are following me around like a dark cloud ready to drop at any time and im pretty sure im starting to hit pms but I just spent an hour sitting on the back porch eating a half decent discounted aldi sandwich while getting lightly rained on so the only feeling I have rn can be described as serene

#not even high rn its crazy how little it takes to make me happy. if nothing else im just so so glad i moved #i really need to start tidying up the garden... the weed situation needs dealing with and a lot of crap to throw #and then i can decide what im gonna grow and how i wanna decorate....10 days til i next get paid and i can get a wardrobe too #i can shower at work its fine. and when the powers back i can get this guy to come fix my washing machine #and i can charge my phone n stuff at work too and i can just knit on the porch tmr evening i dont need electricity to chill....#and i handwashed some of my underwear with cold water in the sink so at least i wont run out #idk. everything hard in my life feels very manageable rn. like yeah i experience momentary sadness or anger or upset but then #i can come home qnd i can relax fully bc its just me. and wow.....#thank god im not in my early 20s anymore. life is nice. and it can get endlessly nicer.. :-)#.diaries #may i retain this inner peace so i can handle my family this weekend coming 🙏

magnetic-deflection

good god theyre giving the weevils adderall

magnetic-deflection

very dope of the weeveils to do that

#nature

scavengedluxury

Dream Lovers T.V. Shop. Radford, Nottingham. June 2019.

#places

thicctempo

🤩🤩🤩🤩

#eating a sandwich rn i love achievable goals

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hold uppppp

#just got attention i feel better now yippeeeee #putting the attention deficit in adhd for fucking reallllll im insane. no im fine im just having a really weird time #wait am i pmsing. shiiiiitttt #.diaries

minxitsy

#MEEEE #okay so maybe that date was just bad bc she asked me to be sober for it 🙄

wait also I had a rly nice weekend btw I don't wanna just come on here to complain LOL

#pride was funnn clubbing was funnn got a lot of shit sorted w the flat and my friend helped me pick up some more furniture #and my baking went down rly well with everyone as usual.. and the weather was nice :^D #and i was lying my lovelife isnt in tatters im planning a second date with the other girl i saw last week bc i liked her a lot #i think the main takeaway from yesterday was that i need to stop matching with lesbians unless theyre trans women ☝️#and also i watched like half of season 4 of buffy and its good so. lots of positivity to be had. i cant wait to hit the gym later #.diaries

miamaimania

“Domestic Scene, Los Angeles” (ca. 1963) ∿ David Hockney

#art

heavensghost

Words by Mary Oliver engraved in rock

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tlirsgender

As a principled feminist I'm often tempted to say shit like "are men capable of higher thought" but then I have to remember not to perpetuate gender essentialism and change it to "why do men choose not to think about anything"

almost a relief to have a mid date so I have one less person to text on hinge lmfao

#like she was sweet but also kind of rly annoying.. plus i dont rly like being exoticised for my androgyny by near strangers lmfao #and also a few other major turnoffs. i think we r looking for different things anyway im not tryna get locked in a relationship yet #she'll make a lovely girlfriend for someone just not meee. ik i was hoping to get laid but im not That desperate #well not just yet. my friend is prolly right i just need to get on grindr 💀#genuinely it was nice its not her fault lol shes just not my type and my mind is still stuck elsewhere. i need to get a grip #but also trying not to be too hard on myself like its not my fault for having feelings and im allowed to be 💔💔💔#just not wallow in it. like ik hes uninterested + seeing someone + it would be unreasonably hard to make it work even if he wasnt #and thats okay im having fun meeting new ppl even if nothing is going anywhere. and ive got a lot of other shit going for me #and im keeping busyyy like ive only cried abt it twice this month which is fucking impressive. hashtag mature #always gotta want what i cant have smh. anyway just killing time writing this tbh im so fucking bored at work i dont wannaaaaa be here #but i have to be.. for now.....okay i probably should actually do smth eugh #.diaries #the worst thing abt it is like. knowing someone well enough to read the signs u dont wanna see #like maybe if i didnt notice little shit n get my heart completely wrenched over it. but also maybe its good to be reminded frequently #cuz at least i cant fucking delude myself. ah well its a familiar pain i can handle it ive been here before a million times #i just miss like. actually ykw i dont wanna think abt it im gonna make myself feel worse bye #edit this is embarrassing to talk abt on main bc ik hes on tumblr but i dont even care like if yr stalking me thats just as embarrassing #as if he doesnt know anyway he's just being nice abt it. if he was less nice this wouldnt be a problem. but i dont wanna lose a friend

scavengedluxury

Cigarette packing machine, Pécs Tobacco Factory, 1980. From the Budapest Municipal Photography Company archive.

#machine.exe

sexchangedotcom

when your wire letterboxd mutual sees you log a cloth movie

#idccc im on there logging wire n cloth shit left n right giving both equal ratings

hyliantomatoes

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

#really busted merrell moab 2s i need a new pair but $$$

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notecardpasta

hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe

havingapoemwithyou

Nocturne by Frank O’Hara

#words #🥹

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I want to lie in what little grass remains...