Still Waters Run Deep

“That’s…true. That thought, got me through…my first job. They liked…me enough to hire me, plus…it would be a hassle to train, someone else.” He nodded. “I think, that’s normal. It’s…weird to have people, watching you all the time. I’d, want to hide.” 

“I consistently have the worst impostor syndrome, so anyone that wants to hover over me always makes it worse. If anything, I get less work done, so it’s hard to move forward if they don’t back off a little bit.” She shook her head. “Unless I’m working with some serious, secret stuff, I’m better off left alone.”

Dax frowns, taking notice he’d put the stranger in a very uncomfortable position based on her nervous body language. Still, he’s grateful that she’d played along. He’s unsure how polite he can stand to continue to be to a cop that spends his time chasing after minors, holding a gun in his hand. He swallows heavily and straightens himself up. “Thank you, sweetie,” he says to the stranger who, despite her nervousness, stood up for him. He smirks at her addition of honeypie. It’s one he hadn’t heard before, for sure. He gives her props for creativity.

The cop rolls his eyes and huffs, backing off of him. “If I see you sticking your foot where it don’t belong again, boy, you’ll regret it,” he spits in Dax’s face before turning himself back to the street. Dax lets out a deep sigh once the cop’s out of earshot. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, kind stranger. I owe you big time for that.”

She let out a breath that she had been holding the whole time they had been speaking to the police officer. She was pretty sure that somehow holding it in would keep the smile on her face. Glancing in the direction the cop had walked, just to make sure he wasn’t watching as her face dropped, she turned back to the guy she had just lied for. Her arms crossed tightly over her chest, tilting her head. “Oh,  you definitely do. I didn’t help you escape from a bank robbery or something like that, right?”

This time, at least, her smile was more amused than forced. Though, she couldn’t deny that there was some sinking sort of worry that she may have done something illegal enough to catch up with her in the end. “Like, I’m not gonna end up as an accessory to anything? Because while I’m a lawyer, I’m not that kind of lawyer.”

“The only time, I can understand a boss…being over your shoulder, if the first few days. At least, then they have a reason since…you’re still learning the specifics, of your new job. Other than that, I would like…to be left alone.” 

“Like, even then, I’m really hoping they hired me for a reason, and I’m not going in totally blind, you know?” She laughed, shaking her head. “Maybe I’m too worried about being self-sufficient at work. But just the thought of anyone hovering, even with good reason, can just make my skin crawl.”

“I’m so happy for you and proud of you that you’re at your dream job, though, really I am,” he told her earnestly after chewing and swallowing some of his food, licking the corner of his lips a little when he felt some sauce there. He smiled when she seemed to approve of the food. He hadn’t cooked for her like this in a long time and something about it made his heart ache. “You’re gonna do great, I know it. You missed the part where I asked you about your days off, though. What about tomorrow? Dyou need to leave early for work? Don’t leave without letting me make you breakfast first, ok, please?” he asked before glancing beneath the table when he heard some purring. His cats had joined them for dinner, walking around their feet and laying down by them. He smiled and ate some more of his food, wanting to finish quickly so he could fix up his room and bed a bit for Petra and get her anything else she might need. “You sure you don’t want to take a shower? You can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in, and a towel, of course… Hey, you remember that time I was at your place and you put on that cute little towel headband thing before you washed your face and I was wondering why you always did that, and that was like the first time I realized how dirty you can get from being out and about in the city. I mean, when I washed my face with your nice pink grapefruit or something smelling stuff and the water was all gray coming off my face and I was always washing my face after that,” he reminisced and laughed, blushing and clearing his throat and staring at his food. He’d probably gotten too personal again, god he never knew when to shut up.

“Oh, you missed just a little…” She trailed off, reaching to wipe some of the sauce away with her thumb, though she quickly withdrew her hand, relieved for the distraction of his cats to draw her attention. The motion had been far too easy and far too intimate at the same time, so she was more than happy to move on to tell him about what she had to do the next day. “I guess I could call in sick. For at least doing a half day. I wouldn’t want to make you get up so we could have breakfast in time for when I normally leave.” It wasn’t like she could turn down him cooking for her again as she was enjoying the dinner in front of her. Well, she could. But agreeing to it was another too easy option for her while she sat there. She propped her elbow up on the table, resting her head on her hand, surprised he had even recalled that memory. She could practically still smell the face wash; she had used that stuff for years. “It’s always nice to just come back and shed everything that builds up from being out in the world.” She loved being in the city, but she also loved unwinding in her own little corner of it, to get away from it while still being in it somehow. “So I guess I should take you up on that shower offer. If you don’t mind me stealing your clothes. I promise it’ll just be for the night.” She always had a bad habit of stealing his jacket or sweater if she borrowed them from him while they were dating. She was fairly sure he only got any of them back because they didn’t fit when she had to pack up everything for college.

Cassian beamed at Petra when she talked about finding time to see them. He hoped like hell she wasn’t just saying that and that she really meant it. Hope was always the killer but he couldn’t help feeling it still. “Of course I still play, it’d be a waste not to, and it’s not like I could ever forget how. Granted, it took me a while to get back into the swing of it and also recreate the calluses on my fingertips,” he added, leaning back in his seat a bit when their first course was cleared away to make room for the second. “Aw, you should totally play your viola more though, we used to sound so good together. And your viola is a perfectly portable size! I just don’t wanna lug the dang cello all the way to my apartment. But yes, I’ll play for you still,” he told her with a nod, forking some of the salad into his mouth. What was he saying, he’d still do anything for her. “If you don’t play anymore, dyou, uh, have other different hobbies now?”

She could feel the itch in her hands to reach for his, to inspect those calluses he had mentioned, run over the familiar lines of his palm, but she was saved by their plates being cleared for the next ones. Her hands curled into the napkin on her lap, releasing the poor fabric to start eating again. “I don’t think you want to hear what I would sound like now. But if you ever convince me, I promise I’ll bring my viola to you so you won’t have to bring that huge cello anywhere.” She shrugged, heat rising in her cheeks a little bit. “I, uh… So I picked up a weird habit in Australia. The college had an archery team, so I thought I’d give it a try, and it’s actually fun. And easy to pick up, since it’s more about aiming and standing still than any other sort of sport.” She took a long sip of her water. “I guess that’s my different hobby now. There’s a range a few miles from the city that I go to on the weekend sometimes.”

“I like, bosses…who show you what, they want…or at least explain it clearly, then leave you to your work. If something, goes wrong…they’ll step in but, if you’re doing well, they’ll tell you so, more of a supervisor, than someone over, your shoulder all day. People, who want an environment…of fear, seem to be, unsure if they, actually have…power.”

“Yeah, they only interfere when they have to, but otherwise know that you have your job for a reason and they have theirs. Bosses afraid of losing their power don’t know how to stay in their own lane. I guess meddling in other people’s work is a sure sign that someone doesn’t think they have a good grip on their position.”

Ethan had never been one to take words the wrong way unless he wanted to or was genuinely offended though even that was hard to do. He’d only gotten positive vibes from Petra and was sure that she meant no harm so he knew exactly how to take her comparison and found it easy to laugh about it. “Not at all! I’ll take it,” Ethan told her with a broad grin and a shake of his head. “That’s the hardest part though. Making it seem effortless without making it seem like you tried too hard or it being entirely invisible,” the male pointed out, a friendly expression settling on his features when he listened to her. “Well, it’s my job to do that so feel free to contact me. I can give you my card if you want,” he offered without trying to seem like he was forcing his advice on her – it’d be the last thing he’d want to do after all.  

She laughed, relieved that her odd comment hadn’t done all that much harm. She raised her eyebrows, though, surprised she was being given a real, earnest offer. Maybe she wasn’t as much as a lost cause as she thought she was. Then again, he hadn’t actually seen her try, but what could it hurt to try and learn a thing or two? She liked learning new things, and she might have to suck it up and not give up immediately if she knew the person giving her advice, rather than someone random on the internet giving instructions. “Oh, I’m never one to turn down a little bit of advice... or a lot of it. I just need to remember to reach out before I have a hot date or something.” She reached into her own bag to fish out the set of business cards she had gotten for herself. “Wanna trade? I just got these printed for my new job, so I just kinda want to give them away.”

“I think, they see…intimidation as a way, to keep people in line. They, want to be seen as strong, so they use their power to push, people around and remind… them of it. Before they had that…power, they probably, were fine. Insecurity, and weakness…might have something, to do with it, but that’s, just…my armchair psychology.”

“Ugh,” her lip curled at the thought, knowing he was probably right. His armchair psychology was probably as good as hers. “I guess they can’t all be of the Michael Scott ‘I want people to fear how much they love me’ mind, but I just can’t stand anyone who wants that sort of environment.”

Now you have to come home to your apartment more often to take care of this plant.  I’m kidding, Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy the flowers and macarons~

- Cas

p.s. seriously though this plant needs lots of care and attention lol

“Will you be my plant-sitter when I need it? I’ll pay you in wine.” She immediately pulled out her phone to start researching how to care for it so it doesn’t come anywhere near close to dying.