“May The Dread Wolf Take You.”

Something that I found confusing back when this aired was why Chi Cheng was being so cruel in this moment. Why did he agree to let Yue Yue come to his place when he'd clearly brought Wu Suowei to his house with the intension of taking care of his very drunk not-yet-boyfriend? And why did he basically imply that Wu Suowei wasn't important by kicking him out so callously, seemingly without even a hint of reluctance?

It seemed especially baffling, given that Chi Cheng had spent the whole evening basically bending over backwards to give Wu Suowei a successful start to his new business venture and had clearly been gearing up for a kiss before the phone rang. And when he saw Yue Yue's name, his first instinct was to hide it from Wu Suowei which clearly shows that (a) the call caught him off guard and (b) he didn't want to upset Wu Suowei.

And given that he'd only just said in episode 7 that he couldn't bear it when Wu Suowei was mad at him, to then turn around and kick Wu Suowei out seemed incredibly counter productive to the effect his character should want.

But now we have the context of this being Chi Cheng's only real experience in a relationship. Before Wu Suowei, this is all Chi Cheng has ever known: Wang Shuo's jealousy and possessiveness, his desperate need for Chi Cheng to prove that he was the most important at every sign that Chi Cheng may have other priorities.

Perhaps even at this point in the narrative, Chi Cheng kind of craves it, wants to see evidence of Wu Suowei getting jealous and lashing out because in Chi Cheng's experience, that's just how people in love act about their lovers. Perhaps this was one attempt to see where Wu Suowei's heart really was - when his inhibitions and filters are down from the alcohol.

But the thing is, Wu Suowei is not Wang Shuo, has never been remotely like Wang Shuo. When Yue Yue breaks up with him, his reaction is to offer to change himself. He is hurt and upset, of course, but he isn't angry at her, and asks nothing more than the chance to change himself to suit her preferences, even after finding out that she had already found a new boyfriend before they were officially broken up.

If anything, Wu Suowei goes above and beyond to please the person he loves, changing and "improving" himself so he can be more "worthy" of them. The way he tells Chi Cheng that he promises to be a better boyfriend eventually is honestly somewhat heartbreaking (thankfully, Chi Cheng is someone who actually does appreciate and adore him the way he deserves in return).

So back to the scene in episode 8, I think this is why Wu Suowei's reaction to this attempt to get a rise out of him completely throws Chi Cheng off. Because, yes, hearing that Chi Cheng is kicking him out so that his "real girlfriend" can come spend the night hurts. But he also very clearly communicates how disappointed he is in Chi Cheng. His expression and the side-ways look he gives Chi Cheng almost reads, I expected better of you. Because it was an incredibly petty and needlessly cruel manipulation on Chi Cheng's part, and Wu Suowei is having none of it.

And Wu Suowei's disappointment cuts Chi Cheng to the heart immediately in a way that I don't think his anger would've (see, in contrast: Chi Cheng's apathy to Wang Shuo's furious demands for him to prove his loyalty to him over Guo Chengyu). We see the instant regret on his face before he catches Wu Suowei in a desperate embrace and promises that he'll make it up to Wu Suowei someday.

You slept over at someone else's house and I didn't fight with you. You flirted right under my nose, and I didn't even go off on you.

But what I like about this moment, narratively speaking, is that you can tie this lesson to the changes we see in Chi Cheng later in the series. Chi Cheng has learned through being with Wu Suowei that real love isn't demanding and possessive and desperate the way his relationship with Wang Shuo was. The stability and the mutual honesty of the love he shared with Wu Suowei has enabled Chi Cheng to mature, and his reactions have become tempered by his trust in Wu Suowei and in Wu Suowei's loyalty.

Which is why he reacts so 'uncharacteristically' to Wu Suowei's attempts to make him jealous. Chi Cheng has learned how to lead with trust, and in so doing is actually in a much healthier relationship with Wu Suowei then he was with Wang Shuo.

Unfortunately, tragedy strikes anyway, and we still get the Divorce Era because Wu Suowei's mind had already been poisoned by Wang Shuo's manipulations, and he cannot see the love behind Chi Cheng's actions at that point in the narrative.

there's this line by poet séamus isaac fey that i believe applies perfectly to the penultimate timeline sol that had erased her memories from sunjae's mind: "i want to stop mourning you / before we've met."

i don't think we truly appreciate the sacrifice sol made to keep sunjae safe. she went back in time and erased all possibility of the greatest love she had ever experienced — she spent fifteen years mourning a person that technically didn't even exist: she loved a boy that only bloomed within the borders of her own memory.

can you imagine how lonely and exhausting it was for her? grieving for a boy who'd forgotten that he had gathered her face in his hands, once — had loved her once. not just forgotten — but entirely erased. keeping track of his movements and whereabouts so she'd be able to stay away from him: all to keep sunjae safe. anything to keep him safe.

sol's love for sunjae is so selfless and strong and noble. sunjae would die for her, but sol would live for him: suffer in silence, submit to the agony of separation; the yawning emptiness of time without being at his side. she was ready to go through it all. she DID go through it all.

murder confessions before love confessions