💌

been thinking a lot about anticipatory grief lately. i love you so much that i know losing you will devastate me. i haven't lost you yet but i already miss you. we still have time, but it won't be enough. i think about what i would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause i need you to know how loved you are before you go. you will go where i cannot follow, but you will never really leave me. it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow.

"i like having you around" is one of the loveliest things someone can say

I’m sorry!!! I’m sorry that we can’t go back!!! And for all the things we can’t remember. But I’m glad we did it!! The love will always be there!

you have to admit there are some joys in life that can only be felt due to hardship. a common example is steaming hot showers. it takes a cold day, or a sickness, for someone to experience the joy of a hot shower. you can’t enjoy it in the heat. then there’s the joy of a fulfilling sleep, often achieved through a tiring day. and there’s the joy of a reunion, achieved through separation. and there are many more examples. sometimes difficulty carries a special range of joys and that’s something to be thankful about.

you may think it’s no big deal but every sweet interaction is actually the most important thing in the world. sooo. take that

sometimes all it takes is one cool breeze and i'm like. wow.. i'm going to live the fullest life everything is so great and i am so grateful and alive