In one of the kik groups I frequent, someone posted a link to this tumbler post by @instructor144 :
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A PM from a Follower, abstracted in the interests of privacy -
“I’m a relatively new Dom, and my sub is a very new submissive. This morning instead of my expected ‘Good morning, Daddy!’ greeting, I got ‘Good morning.’ That’s it. I asked her what was wrong and she answered ‘I’m just not in the mood today. I just don’t want to.’ What the heck do I do with that?”
I had a very similar experience long ago, in a galaxy far, far away. It went a little something like this
“Excuse me? Care to try that again, using the proper protocol this time?”
“I’m just not feeling it this morning.”<!–
As a point of reference, “I see” in my lexicon is shorthand for “You are so close to being fired right now, so I strongly suggest you pay attention to what I’m about to say.”
The conversation was brief and sharp. The point was made. The lesson was learned. It did not happen again. The lesson is one that submissives and Dominants would do well to learn. The lesson is this:
You don’t get to submit – or dominate – only when you’re in the mood. D/s done right is hard work. There’s an initial “honeymoon period” (in my experience, roughly 4-5 months) when everything is shiny and new. The submissive is smitten and cock-struck. The Dominant is equally smitten and cunt-struck. But once that honeymoon period passes, this stuff is damned hard work, and it’s damned hard work every single day. And you have to bring your best game, your unwavering focus, and your commitment to and belief in the relationship every goddam day. Vanilla couples can have a bad day, where they aren’t fully engaged and invested in the relationship. Some have bad months, years, decades. They shuffle along, detached but staying together. D/s couples don’t have this luxury; the structured relationship and the high stakes don’t allow it.
Submissives: you are going to have days when your submission feels like a burden. You’re going to have days when it’s a struggle just to hang on to minimum compliance with rules and protocols. You’re going to have days when you hate the restrictions and demands. You are going to have days when yes, you are even going to hate your Dom.
Dominants: you are going to have days when you wake up and think “I can’t handle this responsibility for another human being today.” You’re going to have days when your submissive is in a recalcitrant mood and you re going to feel the overwhelming temptation to just say “Fuck it, do what you want.” You’re going to have days when you loosen your grip on the leash, not because you think it’s helpful for her (it never is), but because you just can’t work up the motivation to hold the leash taut.
Here’s the deal, folks. These feelings are normal. They happen in every D/s relationship. Many D/s couples will internalize and choke down those feelings. The best will be open about it, maybe give their partner a heads up that they’re going to be struggling today. They may even act out, or act up. But here’s the money shot: you get in there and you do it anyway. You dig deeper than you’d ever have to do in even the most intense vanilla relationship, you find that core of your being, you hold tight to that person who means the world to you, and you handle your business.
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It’s a fantastic post and spurred a great discussion within our group about communication within each of our respective dynamics, how it happens, challenges we might face, ways our respective Doms have helped us to overcome our shortcomings.
I know that I myself, just in the last few weeks, have suffered from some of those feelings as I struggle through the complex feelings I have over my mother’s passing. But my Master is well aware of my challenges – He has gone so far as to task me to stop and remember her.
As I read the post, I found myself nodding, agreeing, cheering the words of @instructor144 . And I do agree. Wholeheartedly. And yet, when I’m completely honest with myself, haven’t there been times when I, too, have been tempted? Inclined to say “not right now, I’m not in the mood”… But that’s not submission. Nope. That’s playacting.
So I must decide, am I all in, or not? If not, there’s little point. A D/s just won’t work with a half or partial commitment.
I don’t even have to think twice on that… I’m all in.
©reflectedtruthsblog 2018
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