𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑

babe, i get that you want to protect me from those people, but i don't want to see you fighting anyone, let's just ignore the fact that there are people who want me dead right now. it was a really hard decision because i was so excited to do all those shows, truly, but my health comes first, right? i was actually going to ask if i could spend some time with you while the tour hasn't started yet. that's all i want right now, especially since i still need to make axel love me a little bit more. yeah? i'm glad he's okay now. thank god we won't need the internet, you know how much that stresses me out. i'd rather kiss you, smoke, kiss you more, play a few games with axel, kiss you more.

if i see someone talking shite about you, i will have to speak up. i can't have strangers slandering you when they got no clue what is really going on. of course your health is the priority and i dare someone to claim otherwise. you can't perform unless you're well and you're far too much of a perfectionist to give the audience mediocre shows. you don't need to ask, i would love to have you here. axel and i both. you know how it is with kids. they get sick, then you get sick and then they're sick again, fun. we'll forget the outside world exists and if you are up for it, we can always do some show prep from the house. i still got a working recording studio, so if you need to work on something, it's there for you. when can you come over?

how many people do you think i disappointed when i canceled a few shows? i feel awful, but i need to take care of myself. i just don't want people to be upset with me or think i'm doing it because i don't want to perform that much. but also, enough about me, how's the little lad? i miss him, and you, way too much. @perrielouisesx

oh hush now. you cancelled for a very valid reason and if people are going to be giving you a hard time over it, they better get ready for an earful from me. i know it's never easy to cancel but i want to believe your fans truly do know you and know you wouldn't do it on a whim. you've been pushing yourself hard and i'm proud of you for doing the two UK dates at the end of the month. any chance i can lure you here for a bit before those dates start up? axel is finally better after being poorly for what seems like forever and we'd love to have you here with us. no internet, no scrolling or looking at mean comments.

private: she's always been someone who understands everyone's side, wants to see everyone happy, and she's an amazing mother to khai. i hope she finds happiness with someone someday. but i didn't know you had treated gigi badly. and i won't be complaining about sleeping next to you every night, i think i'm even more excited about that than the tour itself. even told my team to make sure they put all the snacks you like in there. i've always been proud of you, even from afar, even when i was sure i'd never have you back. thank you, knowing you think these things about me makes me really happy, because i truly feel like a different man now, and i just want the people around me to be happy. are you having fun with axel? i've been having a great time with all the interviews, and it's been really nice spending time with the fans. and i'm happy that you're mine again, pez.

private: i'm not proud of it now but i may have sung one of my lines in 'shout out to my ex' the way that it sounded like i said 'faking it like hadid'. it was petty and childish of me, i know that. guess what i'm doing right now? if you guessed boarding a flight to the unites states, you'd be correct. i still have a bit before i can listen to the album in full but i want to be there supporting you while you do promo. Axel is staying with his dad and i can be there until the tour starts. i've missed you so much and i refuse to spend one more night without you. we have lots of loss time to make up for too.

@perrielouisesx

oh, i have released a solo album. it came out last year, a self-titled one. i took a bit longer to release it, but i'm really proud of how to turned out. i was more involved in writing the songs and it felt like mine, more than most of the albums i did with the band. it probably didn't get promoted a lot in the US but i promise it's on spotify for you to listen. i hope you like it!

private: you should be sorry about that - no i'm kidding, you have a son who needs you more than I do, not that I never not need you - why would you be worried about my reaction? babe I don't care who you are dating as long as you are happy that is all that matters, though I did get a few details from gigi and zayn but I didn't want anymore unless they wore coming from you know? whenever you were ready t' tell me. I have warned him already, i'm watching from t' sidelines.

private: you're the absolute best, hope you know that. Axel is going to be staying with Alex for the next couple of weeks and i've been trying to soak up as much time with him before that. i told my mum about us and she didn't have a good reaction, so that made me second-guess telling more people about us. you were there when i was at my lowest after we broke up and you've always been protective of me as well, which i love. i promise that you don't have to worry now, things are different and we're different. he's changed and i'm not just saying that. would you come to one of his shows with me? we could dance the night away and you could see that he's not the person he was then.

imsg | perrie

i always am so curious to know what professional singers feel about karaokae. so 1, do you like it? 2, if yes what is your go to song? and 3, also if yes, will you do karaoke with me? // @perrielouisesx

i can't speak for anyone else but i bloody love karaoke. i have spent far too much money to have a state of the art karaoke system at my house and the amount of joy it gives me is honestly unparalleled. my go to is either I wanna dance with somebody or my heart will go on. i have to embrace the cheese, plus both of those are so dang fun to sing. what is your karaoke song and when are we singing it together?

you know there'd be opinions no matter what you're doing so might as well be doing what you want which seems to be the case. i know he's not the same from back then and you mean a lot to him. i've been looking into when i'll be able to see him so the second i've got a date set, i'll let you know. be the best kind of reunion i could think of. thank you! got a lot to owe to everyone around me for those and i'm hoping that all translates to everyone liking the sound once it's all finally here.

i know but you know that feeling when you're just so happy and at peace with what you're doing and then you have to let the world in on that happiness? it's a bit daunting, even if no one's stupid opinions can derail what we have now. he means a lot to me as well and i don't take it for granted that we've been given a second chance at making it work. please do, i'll make sure he puts us into the best seats and i'll get some snacks. though, you have to send a list of things you actually like. what i'm gathering from your interviews is that you have a lot of very strong food opinions. how can you hate celery? or apples? i have no doubt that you'll blow everyone away, like you always do. everyone loves you, and you make catchy tunes. can't wait to hear it when it drops.

private: gigi's been really kind about everything too. i got to a point where i thought she might not let me see khai anymore, i don't even know why i was thinking negative shit when she's not a bad person at all, but i'm just relieved and grateful that things are working out the way they are. if we're all happy, if we're all respecting each other and doing what's right, then it'll be okay… right? when we were 20, everything felt exciting and new, like we were just running on adrenaline and not thinking too much about what came next. but now? i reckon we'd get tired of being stuck on a tour bus pretty quickly, what do you think, want to make a bet on that? still, none of that really matters to me in the end. there's nowhere else i'd rather be, as long as i'm with you, that's what counts. it's kind of mad when you think about it, you were there when i was nervous stepping on stage with the band, and now you're here again while i'm figuring out how to do it on my own. thank you for being proud of me, for sticking by me through all of it, for seeing me even when i'm still figuring myself out. oh, and i've got to tell you this. khai told me her favorite song right now is "forget about us". i think you've officially got yourself a very loyal little fan.

private: she seems like a really good person. i wasn't necessarily kind to her when you first got together but she really is nothing that i thought she was. in hindsight, that was just my anger and heartbreak talking and it had nothing to do with her. we can all be mature now and everyone ended up happy in the end. it might end up being a little tiresome, but i don't think i'm going to be complaining about getting to fall asleep next to you every night. that might actually be heaven for me. i was always proud of you, even when we weren't talking. you've always been under my skin, even when i denied it to everyone. you've taken so many amazing leaps forward, but i've also grown up. i appreciate how much work you have put in to be better and you are. you're a better man, the best father and also an incredible artist. while i've been in Scotland with Axel for the holidays, you best believe i've been watching your interviews and thirsting. i'm happy that you're mine again, Z.