don't touch me, sir... ahh, don't kiss me

so apparently there's a type of mouse that actually swears. they call it a cursor.

can a family be reunited when they were never united to begin with?

i'm watching the lying game, and one of the dads also played david wallace on the office. whenever he speaks, i'm just imagining he's david. i didn't realize had this other life. i wonder how his other family feels about all the secrets. :/

my nonexistant love life and severe lack of a social life means i can fully invest in whatever keke palmer and sean evans have going on. if they don't officially come out as dating soon, i'll riot.

now that i'm officially a girl dad, i feel like i need to work even more on my dad jokes.

it's important to keep the whimsy alive even if you're a homicide detective. this guy was checking out a crime scene and his phone went off. it sounded like clown music.

so... i gotta catch up.

the most reliable part of your body are your fingers cause you can always count on them.

there's a part of your brain that decides what kind of sandwiches you'll eat. it's called the subconscious.

if vegetables don't have eyes, how can they cilantro?

i was about to start eating when i got an invite to join someone else to eat about an hour after that, and i'm not one to be rude, so yes i ate two full meals within an hour and i hurt.