i suggest not letting it get this far

Never getting over Charlie Kirk getting shot in the throat right after he uses it to downplay gun violence. Gotta be a top 3 assassination. Up there with Shinzo getting doohickey'd.

It's on some straight up Greek play shit. Man who uses his voice to justify violence and stir evil for years meets his end as that very violence tears out his throat. Poetic. Captured live from multiple angles. People stole his blood soaked merch to hock and his wife was giddy about sale numbers during his funeral.

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

hey do you mind grabbing joseph's coat for him? yeah its the red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gray and purple and white and pink and orange and blue one

The thing about doing house and yard work is like. You would think that you could go out and weed until you get tired, and then come in and do something a bit more low-intensity like tile or wood cutting, then have a cup of tea and go back out into the yard. BUT. High intensity works like weeding results in The Tremblies. And you canNOT handle a circular saw when you have The Tremblies. So clearing a patch of the garden lays you up for like an hour at the computer, making multiple typos (because of The Tremblies), so even writing a chapter of your story isn't convenient enough to bother with. Weeds should not have this kind of time commitment outside of the actual weeding.

You would think that a bit of sugar would help with The Tremblies but it does NOT. A bit of sugar helps with The Dizzies. The Tremblies cannot be bargained with, and they cannot be fought. No power tool (except a drill which hardly even counts as a power tool) can be used with The Tremblies, and I have run out of things that need drilling.

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

Girl you need to get out of bed faster than this

I'm giving it all she's got boss