watching a pot means itll never boil but leaving it unwatched makes it always boil over so basically cooking pasta is kinda like quantum superposition

while i was typing this my pot boiled over

imagine being so butch that your nickname is “butch” and you openly call your crush the love of your life and tell her to stop flirting with men but she still isn’t sure if you’re a lesbian and if you’d like her back. happened to my good friend Josie Jambalaya

I've been repeating delete thy blog wretched saboteur to myself for like 10 minutes

FUCK. i think i have to learn blender

the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:

every day i log in here and get beat up by genies

We were feeling pretty chuffed about having the #6 trending post on this website until we saw number 7 was a Supernatural mpreg edit

New book club in town is meeting at my place. Had our first meeting tonight and someone who routinely takes stuff to the recycling centre offered to take away my broken microwave. This is fantastic I have been really pissed off by having no way to get rid of that fuckarse microwave. Unparalelled book club success.

"Okay but how did the book part go" irrelevant. Microwave is gone.

i will NOT excuse your grandpa he is INTEGRAL to my enjoyment of this video