incoherent but functional

do you know how many times i have felt like absolute shit about myself because of something someone said to me, only to find out later they actually don't know what they're talking about or are a person who engages in behavior that makes me lose all respect for them? its so many times. and yet,

working on my day off because we are so short staffed I have to give double the lead time than usual for things to get approved. I hate thissss

damn he wasn’t kidding the new tMG single is a summer bop if i ever heard one

i am working on a talk which is the final talk i will likely ever give on this big, giant model/decision support tool i have been working on and adding to and improving for 8 years. i am making the slides and for the first time i am looking at this and saying woah. this is really cool that i did all of this from just a couple vague ideas that some people had who asked me to make something of it. like i guess it should have hit me before this but its like when its just the daily grind it is hard to see it for what it is. but i really did do some good applied science here. and its probably going to die with my departure because thats just how things go. but at least i am trying to put out all the resources i can to help someone else pick it up in my absence (i am “ethically” banned from ever working on this again. lol)

it is not my job to judge and therefore i address it all as if its serious and contact the right people for the thing but there’s this one lady at my job who thinks the union can fix everything that annoys her even slightly. she’s like “my supervisor sent me this document. have you ever seen this in your life??” and. it’s.. a page from the employee handbook. like yeah I have. Why haven’t you????

next time you see me blogging about my ex just ask me if i have any other PMDD symptoms because that seems to be the reason for the last few days of mental suffering for me! 🫡

i am very glad i never got into posting on reddit it’s like full of the most awful people imaginable. I sometimes go in to look at my city’s subreddit for info, but i stumbled upon a post in the folk punk one where someone posted a zine where they complained, basically, that folk punk is now too “soft” which i read as code for has too many queer people in it. like sorrryyyy the trans people took over your scene but as a queer person who was in the scene during the “golden days” this is so much better.

I think anybody who talks about losing weight around me should pay me $20 each time. the payment is to keep me from being a bitch. I will then use the $20 to buy myself an iced coffee and French fries. fuck you

i do think sometimes i do not read to others as that mentally ill, because like, whenever i get turbo depressed i tend to focus on doing something tangible that is time consuming enough i don't have much time to sit and think about dying. which is how my place of work is now unionized. i'm like that parks and rec meme but it's me holding my union card saying "could a depressed person do this???" well. if you are me. then yes.

oh god… I need to get watch the vampire lestat these gifs on my dash are crazy