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I start remembering things from my past life. (I was a piece of shit.)
Moved city and start a new college.
Stole mold from my previous house to prove biological contamination.
It had anthrax somewhere.
I called it Albafica and its my new pet.
Back into beeing a barman.... bartrans? Anyway.
Got some winter tropical disease
Had my first fight with chat gpt
Created an e-book with drinks to all lost canvas gold saints (expect Illias. Sage don't got one either)
Discover my female diety is Kali, and already annoyed her. A LOT. I just don't have money for the tarot deck for her and I don't let her use the Death card. It already belongs to Thanatos.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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Mairon: Are you a cuddler?
Melkor: I'm a machine of death and destruction.
Mairon:
Melkor: …Yeah, I'm a cuddler.
~~
Mairon, skipping rocks on a lake with Melkor: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Melkor: Yeah, it is.
Melkor: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.
~~
Melkor: Mairon, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.
Mairon: sigh Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum.
Melkor: Fight me!
Mairon, standing behind him and holding a knife: mouths Do not.
~~
Melkor: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it.
Melkor: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.
~~
Melkor: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.
Melkor: Don't go to the kitchen.
Mairon: Why?
Melkor: I saw a spider.
Mairon: Well, did you kill it?
Melkor: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair…
~~
Melkor: Not to be nsfw on main but I want Mairon to hold me while I sleep.
~~
Melkor: Stop doing that.
Mairon: Stop doing what?
Melkor: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you!
~~
Mairon: I’m here for the cult stuff.
Melkor: How did you find us?
Mairon: I saw your ad on craigslist.
~~
Melkor: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.
Mairon, not looking up from his book: Spear.
Melkor: BLOCKED.
~~
Melkor: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
Melkor: *punches wall*
Melkor:
Melkor: Take me to the hospital.
~~
Melkor: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
~~
Mairon: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?
Mairon: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.
Mairon: I also want to softhack his circuits.
Melkor: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.
~~
Melkor: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Mairon!
Mairon: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
1- go with your family or classmates do a group project.
2- DO not agree with the kind of music they choose: if they put funk, put Rock or blues, if they put classic, put heavy metal.
3- wait they become angry with you, so run away and make a 7X better project (alone or with the other nerds or the any other small group you are part of)
4- now they should hate you
5- DO not them catch you
6- FUC* OFF they garden or yard, you know, stole some plants, like that.
7- change your name to something more goth! (And take care with the spider that you used)
8- make someone do the better project, and stole it
9- now they're pissed off with you and calling you by names
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Step one: know their favorite ship before you pick your spot. A Russingon lover calls for a mountainside. An Angbang die-hard might be happiest on top of a volcano. Beren and Lúthien? Go for a romantic woodland picnic. Curufinrod? Take them to an underground swordfighting class.
Step two: be careful when you pick your ring. Annatar's Lair and Seven Silmarils are notorious scams. Make sure your ring of choice does not whisper, move on its own, or make angry redheads want to kill you.
Step three: proposal day! Get on one knee and present them with the three traditional gifts: a ring, a Valinorian steel sword, and a fifty-chapter completed fanfic featuring their blorbo.
Step four: saying you love them is cheap. Instead, say I would start a cult with human sacrifices for you or You're the swan to my star or I hate you so much we should totally fuck right now and then marry to spite our fathers. Bonus points if you call them your Silmaril. Extra bonus points if you have a tasteful splatter of blood on your face.
Step five: If your name is Maedhros, you can skip all previous steps and just cut straight to your wedding night.
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