genie in a bottle

Oh, don’t be fooled. My dad thinks Monty’s great! He’s very into the chill vibe he brought to our house over the summer. Now, does that mean he’d leave us alone for longer than half an hour while we were there? Not exactly. Just cause he likes him doesn’t mean he’ll let him deflower his daughter so easily. 

INSTAGRAM: @PERFECTLYPARI UPLOADED 2 PHOTOS!

I’ve been waiting MONTHS to unveil this lil beauty. Happy pseudo-prom, everybody!!!! 

For the record, I’m reading this off of my father’s texts: “Come on down to Genie General, where you can get a 32 oz. Magic Lamp-sized fountain drink for only 70 cents!” 

Oh, easy. As a lie told by my best friend to try and get back at his ex. Yeah, I’m never letting @boo2themax live that one down. 

Boo: I had sex with her BEFORE I saved her life tyvm! And Virgins don't get to shame the sex gods

Boo: YAY BUT ALSO DANG CUZ IT'S A GAS STATION!

Pari: But you weren't smug about it then! I didn't have to hear about it 🤮

Boo: Monty's like...the most annoying whiner ever. If he didn't want to I'm sure he would've told you like 5000 times. But you guys probably shooould talk about it before you do it? Not every relationship can be as passionate and spontaneous as mine 😌

Boo: Ughhhh OK FIIIIINE.

Pari: wow, I'd like to um....vomit. Thanks for THAT. You save one girl from kidnappers and suddenly you think you're some kind of sex god. 🤢

Boo: FACT! Ok probably. but if he got one In Front Of You, he'd probably die.

Boo: You know what, that's fair and I walked right into that. Still. No. Let's make signs!

Pari: Yeah, probably. You know what, I never even asked him how he feels about it I just like...told him it's happening. Think he doesn't want to?

Boo: Jealousy is not cute on you, Parisa. Besides, Sofia and I are like equally dorky so of course we're doing it. YOU'RE dating a biiiig geek that just so happens to be "hot". The poor dweeb would probably die the minute he got a boner for you.

Boo: Uhhhhhhhh do I LOOK like the kind of boy who works at a gas station?

Pari: RUDE! I like to think that Monty has had a boner for me and I just didn't know and he's still alive.

Boo: Ah the virgin life, I remember those days. So tragic 😔 You don't look like the kind of girl who works at a gas station! You should strike!!!

Pari: The fact that you and Sofia are out here being nonvirgins while I, infinitely cooler than both of you, have never felt the touch of a man is SO RUDE.

Sofia: Seeing as you've now become one of the five people in the world I like most without having any blood relation to them, I was wondering if perhaps it was time for us to start exploring the concept of 'double dating!' I'm sure Max and Monty are beyond that whole... punching incident, aren't you?

I..........................have a boyfriend. 

pari nasir valentine’s ball look 2k19

Bobo: Hey, where are you? Are you okay?