Prove Me Wrong

What’s the mood after Avengers Endgame

I wasn’t ready

OMG PHIL

that furry cokehead Thomas Jefferson post has me on the verge of tears y’all are such FREAKS abibfkwbkfwbbkf

I’ve been searching for this for 20 minutes.

I’m fucking deceased

What is the incident.

So one time I was getting spit roasted by this married couple and the next day my ass really hurt. Like to the point I could barely walk and had to shuffle everywhere. Well I went to the doctor and they said they had to take a look so I was like ok this should be easy, I’ve taken things bigger than a finger… so she goes to look and it hurt so bad I actually passed out. I woke up and she told me I had fissures and that if they were literally any worse I would have to get surgery. So she gave me suppositories and Oxycodone and told me it would heal on its own. Explaining to my parents that I got fucked so hard my ass literally tore was a fun day… Well about TWO FUCKING MONTHS LATER…it hasn’t improved like at all. The pain was so bad that I would occasionally pass out just trying to shit. Finally, one day I was late for class but I really had to shit so I was like “you can do this. Just shit and pass out quick and then waddle quickly to class.” Well I shit and it felt fine and there was almost no pain…all of a sudden I felt fine. It was weird. Then I went to wipe and my hand felt wet. Like dripping wet. I looked at my hand and it was absolutely drenched in blood. Panicking, I called my mom and she asks me what color the blood is and I’m like “FUCK YOU MEAN WENDY?! It’s red…” and she’s like “no is it bright red or dark red?” And I respond that it’s bright and she tells me that I’m fine because if it was dark red then it would’ve been internal bleeding and that I probably just had a blood blister in my ass that was causing the pain and it finally popped. After that I was fine. So yea I haven’t been a fan of bottoming since then.

Are we all ignoring the question of how the mom knows so much about anal bleeding?

When she initially asked how I tore it, she asked if I had taken like a massive shit or something and I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was from being served as a deep dick pizza to a hungry gay couple so I just said yea and fuckin Wendy here goes “oh yea that’s happened to me before”…so she’s had some experiences. My dad on the other hand knew damn well I was being a ho on the go but kept it a secret from my mothers virgin ears.

Gurl we’ve all been there.

“served as a deep dick pizza”

I prolapsed just reading this jfc

Girl got me on so many levels

@iggymani yo con estos pendejos

IM SCREAMING AHHHHHHH

69 percent too-31 percent bottom hmmm almost