(PRO ENDO, ANTI-RQ) it/its | programmed multi-origins DID polyplex | 1000+ headmates & fragments total across several sidesystems | main is polyporpoising
🌊 > hello, this is our plural blog. collectively, we will respond to the names Morgan or Polaris. our main blog is @polyporpoising, where we talk about being a cetacean
🌊 > we are a polyplex; currently, four sidesystems (with a combined number of ~1000 known podmates & fragments) are active, with two sparsystems of the largest sidesystem most consistently holding front on a seasonal basis
🌊 > we have programmed DID and will talk about it (not in detail) and our progress sometimes, as multiple of the active sidesystems are directly derived from it. we're also multi-origins (spiritual, aporine, and also two tulpas lol) and have adoptives; ie, headmates originally from other systems that got here via systemhopping.
(notable headmates, block-on-sight list, and tags below)
we are okay with answering questions on how programming affects us and our experiences trying to heal/manage OEA trauma on a case-by-case basis. we will not tell you if we think your experiences "count". please do not ask.
Notable podmates from...
🐬 The Old Guard > Carmen (commandant), Cordon (co-commandant), Summer (active co-host), Drowned!Halt, Watcher!Grian, Oakley (passive co-host)
❄️ Permafrost sparsystem > Smoke (host), Brown Fox (gatekeeper), Kinger (secondary gatekeeper)
🐬 The Ways Between - Clocktower (yes, the structure is also a headmate), Amora, Will, Bile (semi-factive/internal handler)
🐬 Softspace > Anti, Neocaridina, Feldspar
🐬 Dreadwood > King of Beasts (KOB), Knight Commander / General (KCG), The Witch / Mother (TWM), Bentley, Scooter
🐬 Other > Jasper / Jazz / Azzy, Snout / Kelsey / Kels (Oakley's tulpas); The Dogs (small OEA sidesystem)
🫧 Other info > We're intersex and physically disabled, and we have NPD, AsPD, and SZPD. We're also dyslexic and mildly hard of hearing, and occasionally experience psychotic episodes.
🫧 We block on sight > Anti-endos (including anti-spiritual & anti-created plurality); exclusionists; disbelief in OEA survivors; fakeclaimers (including reality checkers); pro-harassment &/or censorship; those who equate fictional tastes to real life morals; disbelief in systemhopping/system travel or believe it's inherently abusive; believe you can "transition to intersex"
We reserve the right to block for other unlisted reasons without warning
Tag list
#dolphin whistles - original posts
#pk;m [name] - podmate tags (eg, #pk;m Oakley, #pk;m KOB)
#no author - original posts without a specific author
#reblog - reblogs
#asks - asks!
#unknown tone - asks where we can't tell if it's hate or not
#hatemail - unambiguously hateful or negative asks
#ask games - ask games! both the original game post and asks from it
#tw [thing] - tw tag
#intro post - this post!
#blog upkeep - blog upkeep
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I saw you through the reblogs of that one sys asking about system hopping and I wanna say hi because I like meeting people who also believe in it
wow I forgot how socially awkward I am
-🪄🌕🌸
hi there! im Ramses, one of the other adoptives :) its nice to meet others who believe in it and/or do it (or did it in our case, lol)! i Used to be the host of our ex's system, but then i met and fell in love with my now-husband who ive been married to for a few years now. and by the time i left, they had a different host anyway, aaaaand now we havent talked to them at all in like... a yearrrrrrr? talking was on-and-off during that time period anyway, we havent been in consistent contact with them for nearly two years now.
tangents aside! its nice to meet you :) feel free to shoot us a message if youd like! i promise were friendly!
previous post had us mistyping "mediple" as "edible" (in the sentence of "[...] due to our being edible [mediple]") thanks to autocorrect. caught it. Lily, the funniest motherfucker in here, beamed me a brain image of one of those flaming text gifs that just said VORE TYPO
we're thinking that polymindence might be a good framework for us to consider due to our being mediple, specifically with regards to the blanket soul. specifically specifically, the different "modes" it can have. they're not individual people, but they do color how WE function and feel. unfortunately, we're not comfortable describing them here, as a third of the ones identified thus far are very explicitly tied to nsfw stuff. worse, it's nsfw stuff we are kinda scared of being crucified over lol
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Amora's meat/the one who likes white chocolate/the one who made a button in her AAC just so she can tease me easier about being in "gay baby jail" has changed her name to Lily
so is system hopping like- actually a real thing? or is it smth sysmed/anti endos came up with as like a "look at this extra reason to mock and fakeclaim endos"
and if it is real how does it work because im not sure i believe its possible but i dont wanna be like- a douchebag? yk?
hi, adoptive [someone who moved into the collective from another system via system hopping] over here. it is indeed real. explanations vary from system to system, we use a metaphysical/spiritual one because we are a metaphysical/spiritual collective. others may use a psychological explanation (eg, forming introjects of each other's headmates that go dormant in an alternating fashion based on who would be where), but we actively reject psychological explanations for how it works for us and find it wildly disrespectful to have said explanations pushed on us.
as for a broad explanation, we already have headmates from entirely different universes (and roughly half of our collective lives in a different universe that already had its own population that they interact with and that aren't part of us and blah blah blah basically to those of that universe we're aliens that look suspiciously like humans/elves/their animals/etc unless we're not humans/etc in which case we're just aliens, but i digress). if people jumping into our collective (well, more like accidentally slipping on a banana peel into our collective like 90% of the time) from an entire different universe is possible, why can't headmates jumping between two systems not just in the same universe but on the same planet, especially those with a spiritual or metaphysical connection to each other (such as the one we had with our ex psys where i + a few other adoptives come from), be possible?
i'm not too good with the actual nitty-gritty mechanics and shit, that would be moreso a question for one of the Halts (Undead!Halt i think? the only other option is Drowned!Halt but Drowned!Halt is the viking guy and i never paid much attention to who's who out of all the Halts and the Wills and the bullshit so idfk) since it's got. like. a thing for portals or smth idk. either that or Watcher!Grian or Carmen since they oversaw a lot of it, especially the former.
small fun fact/consequence of me being an adoptive, while i was a persecutor in my old system (and one of the Big Bad Evil Ones that was constantly causing issues everywhere all the time, for that matter), i don't have a role here (yay i'm free from the Evil Girl constraints. whoo or yippee or whatever) because i wasn't Made Here (similar to most of our other metaphysical walk-ins, with a few outstanding outliers like Watcher!Grian and Carmen who essentially act as gatekeepers), so the brain can't like... force a role on me. i'm a foreign entity that got molded into our blanket soul [metaphysical + mediple thing], but roles are (usually) pasted onto our headmates at their very inception before they even really have a consciousness and are just a bunch of disparate urges and thoughts and Maybe a distinct voice if they're super lucky, and since my inception was in another system entirely... no role. so i mostly just chill. except for stuff that has to do with the broad details of system hopping and such because our other adoptives (and other knowledgeable people) are too busy having husbands and kids and shit and are usually too busy.
combination of summer seasonal depression and brief psychotic episodes once night time hits means i am no longer allowed to leave Amora & Will's "apartment" (apartment? rooms? suite? whatever) in the Clocktower because my other partners (namely BF & Curt) aren't equipped to help me, Leland is the break-glass-in-emergency caretaker/helper, and if i'm on my own after a bad SAD day and end up having a panic attack and/or mini psychotic break, Things Don't Go So Good. and i've been having panic attacks mixed with occasional mini psychotic breaks every night for the past few weeks.
the most unfortunate part is that we recently found more people in the dungeons (including someone who Carmen is extremely broken up over) but i can't check and make sure they're okay. because i'm not allowed to leave Amora and Will's rooms without at least one of them (preferably Amora) being with me. and they're busy doing their own shit in their rooms, and also generally the folks in the dungeons should be approached and helped by one person to avoid overwhelming them
combination of summer seasonal depression and brief psychotic episodes once night time hits means i am no longer allowed to leave Amora & Will's "apartment" (apartment? rooms? suite? whatever) in the Clocktower because my other partners (namely BF & Curt) aren't equipped to help me, Leland is the break-glass-in-emergency caretaker/helper, and if i'm on my own after a bad SAD day and end up having a panic attack and/or mini psychotic break, Things Don't Go So Good. and i've been having panic attacks mixed with occasional mini psychotic breaks every night for the past few weeks.
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Leland continues to be an enigma (showed up purely to comfort me when he hasn't been around front in forever because he's Oakley's partner and used to be its caretaker until Oakley got adopted by Carmen, so all of his communication is away from front and with Oakley. UNTIL NOW I GUESS)
the unfortunate thing is that, knowing that all of our intrusive thoughts of "wouldn't it be better/easier to be anti-endo?" came from a sidesystem made up purely of anti-endo headmates (+ two littles who spawned there and just got caught in the nonsense), there IS a possibility that other intrusive thoughts we get are coming from another theoretical sidesystem that is theoretically made up solely of conservative and transphobic headmates of all sorts. and the longer we consider it, the more likely it seems.
the problem with having a high propensity for receiving new headmates is that our brain will see literally anything and go "ooh! new way to cope with The Terrible Shit! time to turn that into a person!" and the "new way to cope" is "hey what if we became a detransitioner TERF and became a massive grifter and got a load of money from that?" meaning the new person is "we're not trans, trans people are all either confused or predators, we were Tricked by the Woke Left"
of course the moment we decide to purposefully allow a portal to open between here and [other world] is the moment the body's father decides to blast his own music at way too high volume with 0 consideration for the other people in the house or the fact that it's straight up midnight. <_<
of course the moment we decide to purposefully allow a portal to open between here and [other world] is the moment the body's father decides to blast his own music at way too high volume with 0 consideration for the other people in the house or the fact that it's straight up midnight. <_<
one of the worse parts of being autistic and plural is getting overstimulated by your own headmates. including from stuff happening in headspace.
someone--don't know who--was stimming by squealing in headspace pretty much non-stop. all well and good, except we are very easily overstimulated by sound, especially very loud, high-pitched sound. and because they were almost certainly one of the younger and/or more cognitively impaired members (ie, being a "symptom holder" for our cognitive symptoms), i didn't just want to tell whoever it was to knock it off, especially without a replacement stim. and if it's who i suspected (i think it might have been Oakley), i wouldn't have even been able to ask it to stop so easily anyways, since it lives in and fronts from Carmen's home, and i'm pretty sure Carmen wouldn't appreciate me just barging in without warning
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You can be a trauma-formed system and also attribute your system to metaphysical causes. Being trauma-formed doesn't mean a system can only ever be psychologically-based; endogenic systems aren't the only ones that can be metaphysical systems, too.
It's okay to also feel like your system is a mix of the two! Or not know for sure, or care at all.
Metaphysical explanations for systems are no weirder than anything else. And ultimately, it doesn't matter if a system feels like they arrived from another time or world or that their memories/headspace/etc happened (or are currently happening) somewhere out there.
Even if you don't think it's possible, keeping your opinion to yourself is Free.99! What's true for you might not be some universal ultimate unchanging fact!
We genuinely don't give a fuck about origin labels anymore and think that overall they're useless, but we put them out there for people to use if it helps them anyways-- and they're not meant to be super duper exclusive or imply other things. IE, endogenic doesn't mean not having trauma or not having a CDD, traumagenic doesn't mean having a CDD, it doesn't mean metaphysical/psychological, etc, it just means in general your system probably formed because of this or that WITH the acknowledgment that it's all very who-knows-who-cares.
Signed,
A trauma-formed system that also identifies as having been plural from birth AND metaphysical in basis, people who have a problem with spiritually-leaning systems (especially non-traumagenic ones) can bite our entire ass lmao.
