in throes of increasing wonder

Like others before me, I have the gift of sight. But the truth changes color, depending on the light. And tomorrow can be clearer than yesterday. Memory is the selection of images, some elusive, others printed indelibly on the brain. Each image is like a thread, each thread woven together to make a tapestry of intricate texture. And the tapestry tells a story, and the story is our past.

louis's abuse was obvious. everyone knew it. from eve noticing her getting more affection than her and even their mother, to her mother's antagonistic behavior towards her, because she is aware she is being replaced in her role as a wife, and to cecily herself taking on that role by parenting her siblings, comforting her sister, keeping her father's infidelity secret, lashing out at her mother for being "immature", and wanting to comfort her father after her parents had a huge fight where she, in her own words, said she was afraid her father would "divorce US".

louis was grooming cecily. his wife knew it, his sister knew it, and even eve, despite her young age, also subconsciously knew it.

it's most blatant in the scene from the director's cut, where louis complains about his wife getting older to cecily, while also comparing them.

and this is just speculation on my part, but that's one of the reasons why cecily kept her period a secret: she feared getting old like her mother, and therefore not being desirable to her father anymore, as she was conditioned to want that from him.

she also probably noticed his attention shifting from her to eve, as eve was younger, and therefore her replacement, which explains her rage towards her.

Life is filled with goodbyes, Eve, a million goodbyes, and it hurts every time. Sometimes, I feel like I've lost so much, I have to find new things to lose. All I know is, there must be a divine point to it all, and it's just over my head. That when we die, it will all come clear. And then we'll say, "So that was the damn point." And sometimes, I think there's no point at all, and maybe that's the point. All I know is most people's lives are a great disappointment to them and no one leaves this earth without feeling terrible pain. And if there is no divine explanation at the end of it all, well… that's sad.