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Summary: Erik Lehnsherr x mutant!fe!Reader -> When a mountain of stress starts to affect your mutant abilities, Erik helps calm you down.
Disclaimer: dislike to lovers, co-workers, reader is stressed from grad-life and work, Erik helps/takes care of reader, hand bandaging scene, uncontrollable powers, developing feelings.
Something you never thought was possible, though entirely plausible, was mutant sickness.
A cold, a fever, infections – all of them, on a different level, are able to disrupt a mutant’s control of their powers. At least, until it passes. Except, yours wasn’t.
It had started off small: a head cold.
With a sneeze, books would fly off the shelves in the library, or a flower would bloom quickly and then, just as fast, die. A cough would make the glass of water by your bedside bubble.
“You need to get some rest,” Charles told you.
Sniffling as you continued to read over the thesis you’d printed out, you shook your head. “I’m fine.”
“You’re sick,” Erik pointed out.
“I’m fine,” you pressed, glaring at him a little and turning the pages.
Charles looked to Erik for a moment, a worried and puzzled look on his face. Meanwhile, Erik just shrugged.
“Will you please,” Charles turned back to look at you. “Just get some rest. Even if it's just for tonight?”
You sighed, re-reading the starting sentence for the fifth time until it was pulled away from you.
“Charles is right,” Erik told you. “Go to bed.”
You scoffed a little. “Surprised you even care.”
“I don’t,” he replied, quickly. “But if you comply, it gets him out of my head.”
You looked at Xavier as you scooted out of the make-shift kitchen booth. “You can talk openly, you know.”
“I’m just worried about you, is all.”
You hummed, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as you passed. “Fine. But just for tonight. I’ve still got assignments due-”
“Assignments can wait,” Xavier told you, ushering you out of the kitchen. “You're sick and you need rest.”
In all honesty, the rest did help. In the morning you felt like your lungs could breathe again, and your head wasn’t as heavy. But the head cold was just the tip of the iceberg.
Over the following months, small things began to crop up.
When you were stressed, feeling as if you’d forgotten every word within the English language, you’d close your laptop with a slight bang. In turn, the books on your shelf would topple over.
A random sneeze shook plant pots that were resting on the window cill. If you got spooked, a small ball of fire would shoot out and catch something alight.
In the mornings when you couldn’t sleep, you would go on a run to try and clear your head. Only, as you did so, other thoughts came to the surface and storm clouds started to follow you.
Even in your calmest moments, when you finally did take a break from work, teaching and studying, other things would happen. Your veins would glow different colours; purples, reds, streaks of pearl…
You would excuse yourself, quickly, to grab a jacket to cover it up. It wasn’t like it happened every day, or so often that you thought you needed to worry about something changing.
But it was also a new development.
Which, for as much as you tried to hide it, someone had noticed.
“I thought you said you were too warm,” Erik said, standing by your doorway.
Inside, you were sitting at your desk, again. With your veins suddenly becoming a one-mutant Broadway show, you’d grabbed your jacket from the foot of your bed and threw it on.
“I-I was. But then I got cold.”
Erik just hummed before placing a glass down on your desk. “What’s this?” you asked.
“Iced hot chocolate. One of the kids made a batch and thought you’d like some.”
You took the glass with caution. Recently, when you hadn’t been concentrating, any glass had shattered in your hand.
“It’s not poisoned,” Erik told you. “We might not be the best of friends, but even I am not that bad.”
A small, if a little forced, chuckle left you. Before you could raise the glass to your lips, however, it smashed in your hand.
“Oh!” Looking down, the cold milk was starting to soak into your carpet. “Shit.”
Racing to find a towel from your hamper, you tried to soak it all up before it caused too much damage. And Erik helped you.
“Show me your hand.”
“My hand’s fine, Erik.”
He shook his head. “There’s a trail of blood. Show me your hand.”
Most of the milk seemed to be soaked up, so pausing for a moment, you showed him your hand. “See, it’s not– oh.”
Erik gave you a poignant look. “Told you. Here, let me–”
You pulled your hand away, quickly, but he caught you by the wrist. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, his voice soft.
You held his gaze for a moment, unsure of how to explain yourself. With so many mishaps, you’d decided to stay away from most people when it came to any kind of physical affection.
If a glass could break in your hand when you weren’t concentrating, what would happen if you were hugging someone and hurt them unintentionally?
“And you’re not going to hurt me,” he added.
You looked at him, shocked, but ultimately let him pull your hand closer.
“How long has this been happening?” He asked after a few moments.
“Not long.”
He looked at you for a real answer. You sighed, “A couple months, maybe.”
Erik just nodded, cleaning the small cuts in your hand with the tools from your own first aid kit you kept inside your desk.
“Has it ever happened before?”
You shook your head. “No. Well, the glass breaking isn’t the first but…before my cold a couple months ago, I had everything under control. Now, I’m accidently setting things on fire, or throwing things across a room without meaning to, or–”
“Smashing glasses.”
You nodded. “Or smashing glasses.”
“Have you spoken to Charles?”
“No. I-I didn’t want to worry him. He’s already done so much for me and I’m only a couple months away from finishing. I’m sure by the time I’m graduating, everything will be fine.”
“I think you should talk to him.”
“No.”
“Y/n-”
“Erik,” you sighed. “Xavier has helped me not only find a home and a job here, but also a future outside of it, as well. I don’t want to jeopardise that because…because a couple mishaps are getting in the way.”
“And what if they grow bigger? What if you end up hurting someone other than yourself?”
That was one of your biggest fears. But, so far, everything had been under control. And you felt fine. A little tired from time to time, but writing and proving a thesis tended to do that to a person. There was no reason to raise an alarm.
“You need to talk to Charles,” Erik almost pleaded with you. “Even if it’s nothing.”
With a swallow, you nodded. “Okay.”
Three days later, you were laying on an examination table with both Charles and Erik beside you, watching the monitor with Hank.
“What is it?” You asked when they all suddenly drew quiet. “What?”
Xavier smiled at you. “It’s nothing to worry about.”
“Seriously?”
Hank nodded, “Your levels have elevated more over the last couple of months, meaning your abilities are growing.”
“All it means is that you just need to learn how to control them.”
“Can’t I find out what they are first?” You asked, a little nervous.
Previously, your mutant powers had consisted only of slight telekinetic and energy manipulation abilities. You didn’t even know what they were growing into, so how could you possibly begin to try and control them?
That question went unanswered for…a long time.
Whilst you were trying to finish off and prove your thesis before the deadline, whilst also producing three other essays for your classes due around the same time, you were subbing different classes, marking a small pile of paperwork, learning what your new abilities were whilst also trying to control them.
And on top of all of that, try and stay awake long enough to actively understand what you were doing.
“I agree with Hank,” Charles said as you collapsed onto the sofa inside the library. You’d gone for a little peace and quiet, and instead found yourself being tested with a glass, again.
“You need to learn how to control your new abilities before they control you,” Charles finished.
You sighed, forcing yourself to sit up. “Can we not just do this later? I’m really tired and my head won’t stop-”
“I agree with Y/n,” Erik spoke up. “Surely this can wait, Charles.”
Though you were looking at Erik, both thankful and puzzled, Charles just looked at his friend, puzzled.
“Erik,” he said, his voice laced in shock. “Weren’t you the one who pushed for this to happen?”
Erik nodded. That much was true. “Yes, but…how many tests can you run if something isn’t there?”
“Then maybe we can extract them. Give Y/n the space to let them out.”
“Y/n doesn’t need space, she needs rest. Yes, she needs to learn how to control them – for her safety as well as the others,” Erik sighed. “But how much can she do when she can barely stand on her own two feet?”
“Not that I don’t appreciate the back up, but why are you jumping to my defence?”
Erik turned to you. “Because somebody has to. Hank is too concerned about the numbers, Charles has too much concern about learning and you’re too concerned over what-”
Quickly, you stood. “I’m fine, Erik. It’s just a small test.”
“You need rest.”
Hank cut in. “If Y/n’s up for it, then she’s up for it. And she is, right?”
You nodded. “Yeah. What do you need me to do?”
As Hank got you to work on another one of his tests, Erik pulled Charles aside.
“She is running herself into the ground. You need to make her take a break.”
“If she says she’s fine, Erik, then she’s fine. She’d tell me-”
“No, she wouldn’t.”
Charles laughed. “Of course she would.”
“No,” Erik repeated. “She wouldn’t. She’s too fearful to disappoint you. Do you even know how many hours of sleep she’s getting? If she’s getting any at all?”
“She’s…”Charles shook his head. “Y/n’s fine. If she didn’t think she could do it-”
Erik sighed. Since starting the tests and lessons to learn how to control your new found abilities, Erik had been keeping his eye on you.
Despite the lessons, you were still doing everything else. Studying, working, learning, studying, learning, working, planning, studying, learning, working, sleeping, planning, studying, working–
It was a never ending cycle. And he was fearful that if it didn’t ease on you soon, the consequences would cost you more than your body was willing to give.
He already knew you weren’t sleeping.
Usually, he was up on a run just after dawn. Half-way around the estate, he would see you, finishing the circuit. In the mornings, before everyone else, he’d find you sitting at the kitchen table, reading over more literature for your thesis.
Too many mornings, he’d seen you work over-time and forget breakfast. So, he started making it.
For ten minutes every morning, he made you stop and eat something. It wasn’t long overall, but it was long enough for you to take a moment and just eat something.
Throughout the day, he started doing it more and more.
A sandwich or a bowl of heated left-overs would be on your desk during lunch. At dinner, when he would finally find you, he stayed with you until you had finished your dinner.
Even if he couldn’t physically send you to sleep, or to get some rest, the least he could do was to make sure you were eating something. And drinking enough so that you didn’t get rushed into the ER with kidney issues.
Erik’s fears came true only a few weeks later, and it had been when everyone least expected it.
You had handed in your final assignment, and had defended your thesis. Away from learning how to control your abilities, Xavier had been helping you practice defending your studies in front of the Board.
You had started, slowly, getting more sleep. You still woke up in the night in order to turn over, or to use the bathroom. And maybe it wasn’t REM sleep, but it was more sleep than you had been getting.
Only, one afternoon, things started to shift.
You felt it from the moment you woke up. Your dream had been cut short, and you felt groggy. It took you a few moments before you were able to register what anyone was trying to say.
You were ready to crawl back into bed, just before Hank came to get you to guide you through a new test he had created.
“Are you feeling okay?” Erik asked you as you passed him in order to step inside the chamber.
“I’m fine,” you snapped, “Let’s just get this done with.”
Inside, you could hear Xavier’s voice trying to ask you to remain calm and focus on the instructions he was going to give you. And, it worked. For a short while.
Hank hummed as he looked at his monitor. “Maybe the filter needs changing? Something’s not reading right.”
“Uh, okay. Y/n, we’re just gonna have you step out for a few moments. Hank just needs to fix something.”
You nodded. “Can I take a break?”
Hank nodded. “Just a short one. I don’t want to lose any progress we might have made.”
You sighed, but agreed. “I-I’ll be…outside.”
Erik watched you drag your feet towards the door. It was almost like your bones were made of lead as you lifted your hand to press the exit button.
“I think we should stop for today,” Erik announced. “She needs-”
“Y/n’s fine. Ah-ha!” Hank turned away from the conversation to focus on whatever he had found.
“Erik, go and get Y/n please.”
“She’s only just-”
“She’s probably in the bathroom. Please go and get her.”
Erik sighed, but followed Charles' request, with no intention to bring you back into the room. Not that he had much of a choice when two kids came running down the hallway to alert someone about what was taking place outside.
Stormy skies were gathering, and the windchimes hanging by the garden gate had stopped singing their song and instead were beating against each other.
At first, Erik thought a helicopter was coming into land because of the freak storm that was gathering. Children outside were screaming as they came running inside, narrowly avoiding the spare metal pieces, garden fence posts and other similar items dotted around the grounds within eyeline.
In the very centre of the ground, past the whipping gravel stones, was you. You were crying out in pain, in between the breaths you were trying to take. Erik couldn’t hear you, but he could see your lips moving.
Inside the expanding bubble of elements forming around you, you were panicking.
It had all happened so fast. Too fast. One moment you were leaving the testing chamber and feeling like every bone in your body was made of stone. The next, you were feeling incredibly nauseous and running for the bathroom.
It was occupied, so you ran to the nearest place you could think of. Outside.
By the bushes, you emptied your stomach which was almost empty anyway. In the space of seconds, you had gone from feeling lethargic to…clear. Not with clarity, but survival. The kind of clear you got just before you realised your body’s natural instincts were about to take over.
You’d left your jacket inside the lab with Hank, not that it would have done you any good. The lights beneath your veins were starting to burn bright. Without knowing what to do, you ran away from the house and into the middle of the empty grounds.
You didn’t know what would happen, but it didn’t feel good.
The brighter they got, the more they burned. Then, suddenly, everything was starting to get big and loud.
The wind started whipping you in the face, odd pieces of gravel from the drive nicked against your exposed skin, the sun above you felt too hot and bright, but the thunder that was gathering overhead was too dense.
All the while, you were in pain. Physical pain that you just wanted to shut off and stop. But you didn’t know how. You didn’t know if you could.
Erik shouted for everyone to get inside, just as the other teachers and X-Men made their way outside.
“Can you stop it?” Erik asked Storm.
“I can try.”
For the first time, Erik watched her struggle. “It’s not…it’s too powerful.”
“What’s going on?” Charles said, coming closer. “Oh, my– Hank, get the kids inside.”
“But-”
“Now!”
“What do we do?” Storm asked.
Erik watched as Charles tried to get into your head, but failed repeatedly.
“She’s too…there’s too much input.”
Over the wind, they heard your scream of pain.
“We can’t just leave her!” Storm shouted.
“I’m going in.”
“Erik, no!”
“She needs to be stopped, Charles! There’s a forcefield. I can feel it. I can get to her!”
“Erik! Wait! We don’t- damn it, man!”
Erik fought like his life depended on it, meanwhile Charles and Storm continued to try and help. Though, there wasn’t much any of them could do.
Whatever you were doing, whatever your power was becoming…it wasn’t something they knew about.
Between the building pain, you heard someone shout your name. But you couldn’t turn. Instead, you started rising off the ground. You felt like someone had hacked into your skin, drove in industrial fish hooks, and was pulling you by your very skin into the sky.
“No, no, no, no. Please, please, stop it. Make it stop, please.”
You were crying in pain, and you were crying in fear. All you knew was that you were in pain, everything was burning and growing brighter and louder, and that you were growing tired.
But not enough to pass out.
“Y/n! You! You have to stop!”
“I-I don’t know how!”
“Try and calm your mind!”
“I-I can’t!” Again, you cried out in pain.
Erik had managed to bracket himself to the ground, but each time he reached out to break through the forcefield you were creating, it caused you pain.
“I don’t know what’s happening.”
Erik felt his chest shake with a feeling he wasn’t used to. Fear. Not of you, but for you.
“It’s-it’s going to be okay! But I need you to relax enough to let me get closer! Let me help you!”
“I don’t know how.”
“Yes! Yes, you do! I know you don’t want to hurt me! Or anyone! So, let me help!”
You tried your best to calm your mind, but it wasn’t easy. Each time you tried to focus on a memory, or a sensation, there was something sharp that cut between it all.
“It burns, Erik! It really–”
“Hey!”
Erik watched as your head lolled to the side and snapped back up. You were moments from passing out.
“You need to stay awake! Y/n! You need to-”
Still suspended in the sky, you passed out. But everything didn’t stop. The forcefield was holding you up, the thunder gave a deep rumble loud enough to deafen anyone, and somewhere between the wind, the sudden rain and the burning heat growing around you-
There was a crack of lightning.
For a few moments, everything remained where it was. The wind paused, the rain almost froze as it fell to the ground, and you remained unconscious in the air.
Until you didn’t.
Erik watched as you fell towards the ground at an alarming speed. Running forward, he threw up his hand in order to try and slow you. Just as you nearly hit the ground, he crossed your path and gently lowered you to the damp grass.
You were out cold.
He called your name, cradling your head as you lay in between his legs, but you weren’t waking up. Placing two fingers against your neck, he found your pulse but it was thready.
“Help me! Get a gurney!” Erik’s heart was almost beating out of his chest as he checked you over.
Your skin was ice cold, the colour of your veins was dying away to its natural state, the natural colour of your lips was fading and from underneath your t-shirt, there were lines spreading across your skin.
They were deep and dark. Jet black with an outer line of ash. Had the lightning struck you?
Whatever it was, it was spreading. And fast.
“I told you she should have been resting.”
“Erik,” Charles said. “This could have happened with or without rest. None of us saw this coming.”
“I did!” He yelled. “Maybe not this, but something like it!”
“Erik.” Charles watched as a panel in the wall started to creak and bend. “Erik!”
The panel stopped.
Taking deep breaths, Erik spoke a little more calmly. “I told you she needed rest. I told you to postpone her tests until she was healthy.”
“She is healthy-”
“And yet she’s in surgery!”
“Erik! None of us saw this coming. If Y/n didn’t feel up to it, she wouldn’t have done it. Besides, you were the one-”
“Yes, I know that, Charles. But she-”
“You know, you do surprise me, Erik. Barely a year ago, you couldn’t stand being in the same room as her. She would walk in, and you would walk out. If you both ever did share a conversation, it wasn’t long before you were not-so-subtly insulting each other-”
“Things have changed!”
“You’re meaning to tell me you have feelings for Y/n?”
Erik didn’t get a chance to verbally answer, because Hank walked inside.
“Hank. How is she?”
Hank looked exhausted. “She’s stable…for now. I’ve had to put her into a medically induced coma but…”
“But what?”
Charles looked at his friend. “But what, Hank?”
“Her vitals are still active. I’m mean…they’re off the charts. I-I don’t know what the storm did to her, or what she did to cause it.”
“But she’s okay?”
Hank nodded. “For now, yes.”
Erik took off.
“Uh- Erik, you can’t go in. She’s on bed-”
Charles held out his hand to Hank. “Let him go.”
As Erik didn’t stop and disappeared down the hall, he headed straight for your infirmary room.
He stayed by your bedside for several days. In the rare times he wasn’t doing as much research as he could on the phenomenon of you, he was talking to you. Hank said it was healthy and could help you.
And in the even rarer times he was doing neither, he was watching you. Watching you breath, watching your monitor beep away steadily to let him know you were okay.
According to Hank, the deep and ashen coloured scaring across your skin all stemmed from the lightning strike that, he presumed, hit you.
When you finally woke up, the first thing you noticed was that you felt like you could breathe. There was no crushing weight on your chest, no burning sensations spreading down your arms or across your body.
You didn’t feel hypothermic, but instead…comfortable. Cosy, and safe. Even more so from the feeling of someone’s hand in yours.
Eventually opening your eyes, you were greeted with the sight of…Erik?
Slouched forward, asleep on his crossed arms, just beside your legs, he had his hand gently wrapped around your own.
For as odd as it was, it felt rather nice. Familiar. Gentle.
You didn’t know how long you had been out – something Erik would tell you when you woke him up. Or what had happened after you passed out – something else Erik would reassure you about when you woke him up.
But during the months of recovery, you started to get used to the help and company of Erik Lehnsherr. Despite your original feelings for each other, he had a strange ability to keep you grounded and calm, even in the most dire situations.
Summary: Tired of fighting, you and Erik work out some tension.
Warnings: Smut. Brief knife play. Oral (F. Receiving). Orgasm denial. Minors DNI. 18+ ONLY.
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Erik's relationship with your team has always been rocky. Most of the time he was long gone, hidden away with The Brotherhood of Mutants. He would cause chaos that the X-Men would have to smooth over especially when it came to the government. On the rare occasion, Charles and Erik would team up to take down threats against mutants. But most of the time, you were on opposite sides.
You had joined the X-Men a few years ago. You are a strong mutant with the gift of power mimicry. If you were in the proximity of another mutant, you could take on their powers if you wanted. This made you a huge threat to Erik when your teams were up against each other. He couldn't stand it. You could take anything he threw at you and give it back tenfold. You had gone toe to toe with him countless times over the years.
Now with the Sentinels threatening the existence of mutant kind, the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants were teaming up. Erik and his crew are staying at the X-Mansion for the time being. It was hard to get used to at first. But both teams had slowly gotten used to each other, with the exception of you and Erik.
You were always at each other's throats. It's a constant battle of wills. You argued over everything. There was always so much tension between you. The air practically crackled with electricity any time you were in the same room. Tonight was no different. After another long battle, everyone was back at the X-Mansion. Erik stomped after you as you walk to your room.
"I told you to stay by my side so you could mimic my powers." Erik growls, his expression cold and teeth bared. He grabs your wrist to stop you from going inside. "Erik, I was fighting and we got separated. That's not my fault." You roll your eyes as you open the door to your room. "I told you to call me Magneto." He follows you inside your room, his mission suit ripped, his face dirty from the battle.
"When have I ever listened to you?" You put your hands on your hips, ready to square up with the Master of Magnetism. His light eyes meet yours and heat flares in your stomach. Damn him and his stupid handsome face. You take a deep breath to calm yourself, not wanting him to know how much he affects you. "I can't wait until this truce is over, so I don't have to see you all the time." You're pouting now. Erik smirks. "You're a terrible liar, love." With a flick of his wrist, your bedroom door slams shut.
"You know, Charles asked me to stop fighting with you." Erik takes a step closer, the space between you nearly nonexistent. You look at him suspiciously. "Why would he do that?" You can't think with him standing so close. You can feel the heat of him through his clothes. You shouldn't want him this badly. Sure, your teams were in a truce for now. But it would end eventually. Then he would go right back to being your enemy.
“Charles thinks it’s bad for our little forced team. If we are always fighting, he’s afraid The Brotherhood will start acting out too.” You roll your eyes. “Monkey see, monkey do” You quip. Erik grins. “Precisely. So love, I have an idea to quell all this tension between us.” His voice drops to that low timbre, chills cover your body. You can’t help it. He’s older, handsome, a villain. The man is a huge threat to humankind and yet here you are, panties wet just from the proximity.
You bite your bottom lip. You know you’ll regret even entertaining whatever crazy idea he has, but the words just slip out. “Well let’s hear it then.” You put your hands back on your hips, willing the attraction you’re feeling to go away. He presses himself against you, hard muscles against your soft form. Your breath hitches slightly. “I propose we hate fuck. I know you want me. I can see it clearly. Your eyes dilate when I’m near. The hitch in your breath when I stand too close gives you away.” The hum of metal goes through the air as he uses his powers to pull on your belt, drawing you closer.
“Hate fuck? I’m sure that is not what Charles had in mind, Erik.” You can’t believe the audacity of this man. A grin spreads on his devilishly handsome face. “I told you, my name is Magneto.” He places a large hand on your back. “And, that’s where you’re wrong, my sweet. Charles can read minds. He knew exactly what I was thinking, and yet, he didn’t object to the idea.” You were sure Charles didn’t think about Erik proposing this. Erik had a point though, Charles didn’t say no, but still this is Magneto. Sensing your hesitation, he brushes a stray hair from your face. “Just this once, darling. It will help, I promise. I’ll make it good for you.”
What little resolve you have shatters. His ripped suit and dirty appearance was undoubtedly sexy. You had no doubt that he would make it good for you. “Fine, but if you tell anyone, I’ll make you regret it.” You warn him, but he’s unbothered. Using his powers to move you with your belt buckle, he flings you effortlessly onto your bed. “I don’t kiss and tell, love.” He smirks as he climbs on top of you. His hands move to his helmet. He begins to take it off when you grab his arms. “The helmet stays on.”
His light eyes darken at your words. Erik leans down, lips crashing into yours. It’s not soft or sweet, not like the kisses you were used to. He did say this was hate fucking after all. You grab at his suit, trying to take it off. He breaks the kiss to pepper more along your jaw and down your neck. You gasp when he bites near your collarbone. You weren’t used to this. You had a few boyfriends who made love to you, but they weren’t this rough. Erik was just taking what he wanted. “Ah, ah, ah.” He scolds you. “If the helmet stays on, so does the suit.”
Erik holds a hand out, his powers searching for something when the pocket knife you left on your night stand flies over to him. His mouth returns to your neck, both hands holding your hips to keep you from wiggling too much. The pocket knife moves to the top of your super suit under the control of his powers. It slices through the black spandex, cutting right down the middle. Once you’re just in your bra and panties, Erik throws your tattered suit to the floor.
The knife presses against your chest. The cold metal blade is a stark contrast to your heated skin. You jump at the contact. Erik holds you down harder. “Stay still, love. Wouldn’t want you getting hurt, would we?” He teases you as the knife slices your bra. Erik throws it to the side. He takes you in: your exposed breasts, your chest heaving, your wide eyes. He growls as he lowers his face to your breast, taking a peaked nipple between his lips. His other hand rolls your other nipple between his thumb and forefinger while his powers move the knife over your torso. The jagged blade travels down your stomach making your breath hitch.
You try to be still, but it’s all so sensual. Him on top of you, the knife, the thrill of it, the fact that he’s your enemy. He stops for a second, glaring at you. “I said to hold still.” He snaps. He looks around your room, a wicked smile on his lips. He manipulates your iron headboard, the sides coming down to wrap around your wrists. You gasp as your arms are brought above your head. You could use your powers to remove it if you wanted. You both knew that, but you wouldn’t.
Your footboard captures your ankles at his command, spreading your legs. The sharp edge of the knife glides against your skin, pressing just hard enough to remind you that he could hurt you if he wanted. His teeth graze your nipple as the knife slices your panties, leaving you bare in front of him. He grins against your breast before sitting up to get a good look at you. He loves how you look under him. Your eyes are dark with lust. Your hands above your head, confined with your own headboard. You really are beautiful. He hates to admit it, even if only in his thoughts. You were always running your mouth, fighting with him over any little grievance. But now, he has all the control. The hum of his powers fill the room.
Erik grabs your ripped panties out from under you. He notices your other discarded clothing, but instead of tossing the panties on top of the pile, he gets an idea. “Open.” He commands, one hand on your face, squeezing your cheeks. His thumb and forefinger on either side of your mouth pressing your cheeks against your teeth. You do as you’re told without thinking about it. You should be ashamed, letting him boss you around like this. The man had been kept in a high security prison under The Pentagon for almost ten years for crying out loud. But shame is the last thing on your mind when you look into his light eyes. You open your mouth and he stuffs your panties inside. “Good girl.” He smiles, clearly pleased with himself, now that he had you restrained and quiet for what he assumed was the first time in your life.
Erik leans down biting your inner thigh, the knife now set aside. His cold helmet touches the top of your thigh causing you to shiver. He moves his hand, making the footboard spread you obscenely wide for him. You whimper, but it’s muffled by your panties. “What was that, darling?” He asks, and you can feel the satisfied smirk against your leg. His mouth seals over you, licking through your heat, plump lips sealing over your clit. You ache to clamp your legs around his helmet covered head to keep him there, but your makeshift restraints keep your legs apart.
He fucks you with his tongue, drinking you down while his nose glides against your clit. You hate how he already knows how to make you writhe under him. Your legs shake as buries his face against you. He moans as he grips your thighs, tongue swirling in intricate patterns the devil himself designed. He lifts his head, his dirty, ruggedly handsome face glistens, covered in you. He reaches up to take your panties out of your mouth, throwing them to the floor without care. “I want to hear what you sound like when you come for me.” He goes back to his meal. His lips tug on your clit. With a flick of his wrist, your footboard contorts back to its normal shape, freeing you. You rest your legs on his shoulders immediately, crossing your legs and pulling him closer with your heels.
He groans as he drags his tongue over you slowly, teasing you. “Erik please?” You beg him, hating yourself for it as soon as the words leave your mouth. You know he will throw this in your face the next argument you have. Erik pauses, “You know that’s not my name, love.” He says against you, his words vibrating along your core. This asshole! The absolute nerve he had to make you call him Magneto. Of course you knew he preferred to be called that. But nothing made you happier than pissing him off, so you called him Erik. The only time you even thought the name was in the middle of the night with images of him putting you through the mattress in your head and your hand between your thighs. He was going to make you say it or he wouldn’t let you come. You knew it, knew him well enough by now.
He swirls his wicked tongue expertly on your clit working you up higher and higher. “Erik!” You gasp, jerking against your headboard’s iron hold on your wrists. He flips you to your side, arms pulling against your headboard handcuffs. You squeak as you’re rolled over, his mouth never leaving you. You’re right there, so close it’s palpable. Then the insufferable jackass stops, his hands and mouth leaving you feeling cold and wanting. “I told you that’s not my name, love.” He lays his head on your inner thigh, pressing a soft kiss to your satiny skin. You groan, “I hate you so much!” He scoffs against your thigh, “I told you, you’re a terrible liar, darling. You love when I put my hands on you. You were just begging me when I had my mouth on the sweetest thing my villainous mouth will ever have the pleasure to taste. And you will be screaming my name when you come on my cock. Magneto.” He growls, his little outburst setting your skin on fire. He moves you so your back is against the mattress. He fixes his gaze on you, “Say it.” He commands.
Damn him. He looks incredible like this. His light eyes blazing with intensity, wild, unhinged, a little deranged. You shiver, you have only seen him look like this once. You were fighting, giving it everything you had. He pressed you up against an abandoned building away from the fight. He looked just like this. His nose had brushed against yours. Your breaths mingling and hearts beating rapidly. You had been so sure he was going to kiss you. Worst of all, you had wanted him to. He put his hand on your face angling you how he wanted. Just when he barely brushed his bottom lip against yours, Logan came flying through the building, sending bricks and debris soaring. The Blob had thrown him over here. Just your luck. Neither of you ever mentioned that moment, pretending it never happened.
He was looking at you with the same raw intensity now. “Beg me to give you my cock. Use my name.” That smug bastard. You’d rather makeout with Toad than to beg him again. But you were aching for him. You’d take it to your grave, but you needed him. You swallow thickly, your pride and the lump in your throat leaving. “Please give me your cock, Magneto?” He smiles triumphantly. “Again.” You keep his gaze as he unbuttons his pants, “Please can I have your cock, Magneto?” His name is barely past your lips when he slams into you. Your back arches up into him, your restraints keeping your hands above your head. You take a deep breath, trying to adjust to the thick length of him. He lifts your leg higher, setting it on his shoulder. He’s even deeper at this angle. He was hitting spots that made your head swim. His brutal thrusts push you up the bed. What’s left of your bed post bangs against the wall with force.
Erik brings his hand down between you, calloused thumb rubbing circles against your clit. You clench around him, your orgasm surging through you like lightning. “Magneto!” You cry out as he drives into you, his thrusts just as vicious as he is. Your body tightens around him, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise as he fucks you on himself. “So tight. So perfect.” He praises, burying his head into the side of your neck, his helmet cooling your skin. “Fuck.” He moans as he spills himself inside you. He presses a gentle kiss to your neck, trying to catch his breath. You use your powers to manipulate your headboard into its normal shape. You wiggle your arms, Erik sits up capturing your wrists. He looks them over, turning them to see if you were hurt. He kisses each wrist. This tender side of him a stark contrast to the rough way he just fucked you. He grabs your face, thumb caressing your cheek. “If you argue with me tomorrow, I’ll bend you over the table in the War Room in front of both our teams, consequences be damned.” He growls, the unhinged look in his eyes, tells you he means it. “What happened to this being a one time thing?” You tease him. “Darling, we both know this was never going to be a one time thing” He nips your ear playfully. You smile, thinking of all the ways you’re going to provoke him tomorrow.
Tags in the comments! I think I got everyone who wanted to be tagged. If I missed you, let me know so I can fix it! ❤️
answered ur ask then looked at ur profile again bc i recognized it… chat i js read ur erik fics the other night on ao3 and fell asleep whilst doing so 😭😭
Aww well I guess my fics are good lullabies then? XD
You can probably expect more about Erik from me in the future :3
summary : erik has become the pillar of support in your life, becoming more than a teacher. no matter how riddled with guilt he may be at times, he’s found that he loves you more than he might know. it’s not one sided.
warnings : fluff, lots of sappy stuff, READER IS 19!!! erik is 33. they are both adults, but there is also the element of yknow, it being wrong… takes place in something similar to first class, but the school was more developed and basically everybody js stayed happy 🤷♀️ but still professor/student relationship. also not proofread so have fun w that. f!reader implied being as erik refers to reader as a girl once but otherwise pretty gender neutral. also tried to be ambiguous physically/ethnically?
wc : 3.5k
notes : soooo.. i’ve been in love w michael fassbender lately, so i decided to suck it up and write an erik fic. also im highkey picturing sorta michael fassbender circa fish tank 2009 as far as the hair and stubble idk
it’s late, and the cool summer air engulfs you and erik at nearly midnight. the two of you are on the porch, leaned back against the railing. erik stands, though instead of his usual dark button ups and slacks, he’s more casual tonight. a blue t-shirt, jeans, battered sneakers. even his hair is a little longer, the waves coming loose, the stubble on his jaw grown out as well.
you sit on the floor of the porch, knees pulled up toward your chest. your head rests against erik’s jean clad leg, looking up at him with a smile. he returns it, one full of a warmth that he didn’t often share. smoke curls in the air as he exhales, cigarette grasped lightly between his pointer and middle finger.
for the past ten months since charles and erik recruited you, the latter has held a particular soft spot for you. he helped train your abilities, discover new skills. he helped you find your pride in being a mutant. even in class, you two got along much better than the others. neither of you thought much of it, you were just good friends — it just so happened that you were a student. but you two were close, and he was different with you. you felt comfortable telling him things charles shouldn’t know, like the parties you and alex hosted, or the fact that sometimes you hated your mutation. he was always there.
the same way he was now, a steady pillar for you to lean on, literally and figuratively. you chatted casually, something about hank and raven finally getting together. the moment was shared easily, no tension or even real worries. neither of you paid mind to the fact that you’d been outside for more than three hours, being as curfew happened to be three hours ago.
“can i try?” you questioned, nodding your head toward the cigarette in his hand, cheek rubbing against denim as you did so.
he looked down at your outstretched hand, playfully rolling his eyes with a soft smile. “you’ll hate it,” erik chided, but handing the cigarette to you nonetheless.
inhaling shallowly, you felt the smoke fill your lungs, and you broke away, coughing. “you’re right,” you replied with a strained voice. your hand reached back up to return the cigarette. still, your head felt a little fuzzy afterwards.
“i usually am. besides, you did it wrong.” it was common for the man to playfully lecture you, bringing a smile to both of your faces.
“it’s kinda cold out here,” you commented. this made erik sigh, shaking his head in breathy laughter. you were wearing pajama boxers that covered virtually nothing, paired with one of your many little tank tops — obviously you were cold. you didn’t even have shoes on.
“would you like to go inside?”
“and go where? i don’t wanna go to bed yet.”
erik shrugged, dropping the butt of his cigarette and stomping on it with his sneaker. “did you want to go to my room?”
the question was innocent, not holding the perverted undertones one may expect to hear when a teacher invites their student into their bedroom. right now, you weren’t his student, and he wasn’t your professor.
after considering the suggestion, you nodded, adjusting your shorts. he reaches his large hand out to you, and you take it, engulfed in his warmth. erik hauls you to your feet with casual strength, the kind that makes you smile a little.
he walks beside you, a hand resting softly on your lower back as he opens the glass door, letting it shut behind him. he gently leads you down the corridors, pressing his pointer finger against his lips in a reminder to be quiet, though that did not mean much when he grinned playfully.
his door opened to reveal a room similar to yours, though larger. the walls were a soft beige, joined in all the corners and edges by dark trim and accents. his king bed sat against the middle of the far wall, under his window. the room smelled of something warm, distinctly erik. it brought a smile to your face. one that had something behind it that even you couldn’t decipher.
the large bed, neatly made save for a hoodie thrown on top of the maroon comforter, called to you.
“this is so nice,” you called out, throwing yourself onto the foot of the bed with very little grace, one leg hanging off. erik chuckles at your immediate path to his bed, shaking his head a little.
something you notice is the sheer amount of metal in the spacious room. it made sense — magneto, and all — but it felt odd, seeing it in his personal space, too. metal figurines and coins, little iron marbles on his desk, just trinkets.
“one of many luxuries.” his hand ran across his sharp, stubbled jaw, eyes falling shut for a moment. when he opened his eyes again, erik caught sight of you in a different light, literally and figuratively. you’d turned on the lamp next to his bed and had sprawled out once more, moving his pillows to your comfort. it seemed as though this was more your space than his. the image of that brought a smile to erik’s face, something reserved only for you — though you don’t see it, being as you’re tinkering with a bottle of cologne on his bedside table.
you had no reason to smell his cologne from the bottle, seeing as it surrounded you now in his sheets, but you knew it would be different. the glass did not hold the same warmth his body did, and neither did the fragrance, no matter how pleasant it was. you enjoyed it far more when he wore it.
“smells like old man,” you joked, crinkling your nose in face disgust. that did nothing to hide the smile that felt sweeter than honey coming to your lips.
you lay on your stomach now, one pillow under your arms and chest as you faced the bedside table to be nosy. this meant you didn’t see erik approaching the bed and laying down across the bed widthwise, until you felt the dip of weight.
“do i now? maybe you should respect your elders, insolent girl,” he chuckled out. erik didn’t need to look at you to see you rolling your eyes. the man reached over his own torso with the hand that wasn’t behind his head to flick the exposed strip of skin between your tank top and shorts.
“you’re too mean to respect.” a little huff of air came from you, though all in good fun. you twisted a little to move away from his hand, though the tiniest bit of contact felt like electricity surging through your ribcage.
despite this, you’d continued on with your nosy findings, and had found the book he was reading, one you likely would have deemed boring before later reading it yourself. you flicked through a few pages before setting it back down.
at some point, you’d forgone your nosiness and instead set your eyes upon erik. his perfectly angular nose, his blissfully shut eyes, the way his muscles made themselves prominent through his t-shirt.
one arm is looped behind his head, bicep nearly bulging from the simple stretch, and the other rests on his abdomen, clutching a pack of cigarettes. his dark blue shirt rides up enough above his jeans to where you can see most of his stomach, from above his navel to where the waistband of his dark boxers makes itself visible, enough to see the dark hair starting at his navel and descending lower.
the silence in the room was pleasantly calm, though only if for a few minutes. you’re sure erik had no idea you were looking at him, being as his eyes were closed — but he knows. you’d never stay quiet for this long otherwise.
“y’know, professor, i’d say you’re much better looking than charles,” you cut though the silence. you knew he would tell you to call him erik, and you generally did, but sometimes the title grabbed his attention more. that’s what you believed, anyway. you always had his attention.
“erik,” he reminded, a lazy smile on his lips. “i think you might be biased, darling. you look at me more often than you do charles.” erik’s eyes remained closed, but his brows furrowed a little now. he certainly hoped you looked at him more than charles.
you just huffed out a laugh, mostly distracted by his face.
“you stare an awful lot,” erik remarks, eyebrows raising in emphasis. his long fingers tap mindlessly on the pack in his hand, as though debating another smoke. he doesn’t need it, though. he has you here and deems that more than enough nerve stimulation.
your eyes widen suddenly, your face feeling a little warmer at his words. “your eyes are shut,” you murmur, confused as to how he knew you were staring at him.
something akin to laugh escapes his mouth, eyes finally opening. “but you didn’t deny it.” the way his grey eyes met yours mirrored the weight of your own previous gaze, a look that held something that seemed an awful lot like love.
you scooted a little closer to him, though not giving him a reply. the hand that idled on his muscular abdomen lifted, abandoning the pack of cigarettes on his exposed stomach. instead, his arm rose and wrapped around you, guiding your head to his chest. you were on your side now, a hand on his torso and your head resting on his chest and shoulder.
his body was impossibly warm and large beneath you, muscular frame radiating heat as though he had sensed the chill that hadn’t fully left. even one of your exposed legs, hiked over both of his, had found warmth through the denim. neither of you dared to move, or even speak. not when your fingernails lightly scratched patterns along his chest and bicep, and your eyes started to fall shut despite you being quite awake.
“erik?” you asked, voice quiet and eyes still closed.
“mm?” erik hummed, looking down at your calm form.
“do you think that if things were… different, you would like me?”
the older man frowned, but knew entirely what you meant. obviously, there was something between the two of you, but neither one had pursued. instead, a friendship that could nearly be deemed something else had been. and he knew people talked, but the only thing they could speculate was something secret. your friendship had always crossed the line of strictly professional, but he had never become anything more than someone you could trust.
that’s what the rest of the school knew, anyway. they didn’t know that on more than one occasion had you sat far too closely to each other, often overlapping, or that he stood outside with you for hours after curfew instead of telling you to go to bed. they didn’t know how you looked at each other. erik knew, though. he saw it in your eyes when you thought he wasn’t looking, because it was the exact same look he had in his.
“i do like you.” his breathing stayed steady, his heartbeat a constant in your ear.
you frowned a little. “i meant.. y’know, just forget it.”
erik rubbed your back softly, communicating understanding. “i know what you meant.”
a smile finally graced your lips, one softer than just minutes ago. “you— really?” you tried to confirm, itching to know if he felt the way he claimed.
his arm just squeezed around you a little tighter, a feeling that you found nice enough to slowly doze off on his chest. erik stayed awake though, absorbing the weight on his body and his mind. he knew it was wrong; you were a student who trusted him to teach you control over your abilities, to train you and be a stable figure in your life.
but how could he stop the lingering looks, the late night conversations that ended up like this? you were the sunshine in erik’s life, no matter how much he says otherwise.
so he doesn’t move, and he lingers in the sensation that he’s grown accustomed to. erik doesn’t fear the consequences that would fall upon him if someone found out, but he fears what would happen to you. over the past few months, he’s learned that you seem to need him just as much as he needs you. it shows in how you come to him in tears, or how you never seem to let him get far from your touch.
there’s one question he’s been asking himself, though, and been mindful of not thinking about it when charles is around. is it love? could it be love if you can’t be open about it? erik lehnsherr had to relearn how to love after his life was shattered into pieces, and he knew he loved you. he happened to have a pretty good feeling that it wasn’t totally one sided, but he didn’t mention it.
it certainly felt like you loved him when you sat on the porch in your pajamas, head resting on the side of his leg, looking up at him with soft eyes. it felt like love when you laid on his chest and felt safe enough to fall asleep.
eventually, his eyes set upon you, erik fell asleep himself. if he was being honest, it was the best sleep he’d gotten in a long time. he held you close, sideways on the bed and blissfully knocked out.
by the time he woke up, it was five-thirty am, too early for most of the mansion to be up. pale blue light filtered in through erik’s window, casting light shadows on you. you were still asleep, face mostly hidden in the side of his chest. you were so peaceful, lost in the confines of dreams.
regret inched into erik’s mind, but it washed away the second he saw your hand fisting his t-shirt when he tried to carefully move you off of him. your eyebrows pinched a little when he slowly lifted your sleeping body, setting your head on a pillow and off of him.
“you’re okay, honey. i’ll be right back,” he whispers, brushing his thumb along your cheekbone. his voice is soft, but holds a gravelly tone that shows he just woke up.
your eyes stay shut, but you grumble a little from being moved and the loss of his body heat. but as he strokes your cheek, his eyes soft, the furrow in your brows dissipates back into that peaceful state.
when erik stood, he moved away from the bed, but could not tear his eyes away from you for the first few minutes. when he did, you still remained the only thought in his mind.
he went to his bathroom, the warm light flicked on showing him the messy waves on his head and his overgrown stubble. he should have shaved yesterday, but you had said last week that he looks better with longer hair. it feels more natural, not like he’s hiding in the confines of professional appearance.
when he gets out of the shower, waves damp and messy across his forehead, erik is still mindful to be quiet when making his way back into his bedroom. however, when you come into sight, you’re mostly awake, sitting up against his headboard in a ball. he feels a little flustered when he realizes you’ve woken up, considering he’s still damp and has only a towel slung loosely around his hips.
your facial expression mirrors his, albeit with more sleep lingering in your eyes. erik stands still for a moment, lips parted and cheeks a little warm. his hair is slicked back in loose waves with the remaining water, and you can see his muscular chest rising and falling as his breathing picks up.
“i’m sorry, dear, i.. didn’t know you were awake,” he finishes with a brief smile. as he grabs a few items of clothing out of his dresser, you’re still in the peripherals of erik’s vision, turned away as though to offer him that brief modesty.
“it’s okay, erik,” you reply softly. it seems the light embarrassment of seeing him — or perhaps it was that you were staring — had found you, your cheek caught in your teeth.
erik turned back to you, abs on display in a manner charles would call ‘a little slutty’. “i’ll just be getting dressed, i’ll be out in a moment.” with that, he disappeared back into the large bathroom, the door clicking softly behind him.
as soon as he was gone, you silently screamed at yourself, unsure of even what to do after seeing probably the hottest man to ever exist with nothing but a towel on. you hoped that being several rooms away, and not technically being allowed to be in the teachers suite, meant charles would not be able to discover these thoughts.
it may have taken a moment, but you regained your composure, stretching your back and standing. you didn’t want to leave quite yet, and truth be told, you were afraid you would get caught.
just as soon as he’d left, erik returned, clad in a grey long sleeve t-shirt and jeans, a casual sight you enjoyed so much. the sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows and left his muscular forearms exposed. when he met your eyes, he offered a smile with raised brows. the barely-there light of the sun inching into the sky cast long, blue shadows along his face that made him seem all the more serene.
“so.. erik, how am i supposed to leave without someone seeing me?” you asked, voice a little low out of caution. your fingers twisted along the hem of your shorts, hoping erik would have an answer – he usually did, though.
his eyebrows pinched a little, sight now falling upon his door. with it being so early, he assumed the only real threat could be logan, considering he enjoyed running off to do god knows what at awful hours. long strides, relaxed in manner but tense in emotion, took him to his door, looking out the peephole. nobody, not in the teachers suite, anyway.
“i suppose i’ll just.. walk out. then you’ll follow. if anybody asks where you were, you’ll say you were outside. if they see us* together, you had a question about an assignment,” the older man instructed carefully, hoping you could remember it. those instructions made your eyebrows furrow, looking at yourself — wearing a tank top that did virtually nothing, boxer shorts that were only for modesty purposes, and white socks. nobody would believe you were outside. but even still, you couldn’t think of anything else, so you accepted.
when he opened the door, erik looked out for a few seconds before looking back at you, giving a shrug and a nod.
no noise came from anywhere in the mansion, save for the soft padding of your socked feet and the quiet tap of erik’s boots. it was nearly empty, everybody asleep at nearly six am on a saturday. when you made it to your room, erik close behind, you opened the door with a bashful smile. he had to reason to follow, except that he wanted to spend a few more minutes with you.
erik leaned against your doorway, telling you to get some real sleep, things like that. his soft grey eyes met yours with unwavering affection, telling you all he didn’t say. the stubble on his jaw only accentuated his smile, a kind of adoration nobody else saw.
the large windows in the halls let you see him in the early morning light, the day young and already so full of life. unable to rest your eyes off of him, a loving caretaker in his whole being, your hand inched toward his again.
something came over you, though. maybe it was the heat he radiated, or maybe it was the fact that nobody loved you so deeply, so surely, without ever saying it. but without warning, your hands found either side of his stubbled jaw, pulling him in for a slow kiss. it wasn’t rushed, not even desperate. it was the work of almost a year of friendship shattering into what it really was.
erik’s hands found their places respectively on your waist and the back of your head. his soft lips moved in sync with yours, pushing you back as he yearned for more. the door stayed open despite him walking you backwards into your room, your body pinned against a wall.
neither of you wanted to pull away because you knew what would eventually come — guilt. but when you did, his lips were parted and his chest rose heavily, your lips swollen and panting. a smile came onto your lips though, out of breath.
erik’s hand on your head slipped to cradle your face, his grin mirroring yours when you pulled away.
“so.. i’ll see you later?”
he chuckled, placing one last gentle kiss on your lips. “i’ll see you in a bit,” erik replied as he walked out the open bedroom door, closing it behind him.
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These pictures I took of my Alien Covenant: The Art of the Film book were recommended to me in my gallery today and I have to share them, it’s such a cool book
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Summary: You finally reach out.
Warnings: Shame/self-loathing themes, explicit language
Word count: 1,1k
A/N: We're bringing some lightheartedness into this fic finally...!? :')
The next few days were ordinary. On the surface, at least.
You went to work. Cooked dinner. Folded laundry.
Life continued as usual, as though nothing had happened at all.
Except… you couldn’t get Brandon out of your head.
No matter how much you tried to push the thoughts away, they kept returning. You wondered what he was doing. How he was feeling. If he was thinking about you too… or had already moved on.
The worst part, you found, was the uncertainty. You didn’t know if he would ever reach out to you again. Whether it made any sense that you kept checking your phone without meaning to.
Your rational side told you to just forget about him. He had probably already found someone new to fuck anyway.
But the other side of you, your heart… it wanted to hold on. Maybe, just maybe he would text you. Maybe he hadn’t forgotten you.
And oh, it was so hard to figure out which side to listen to. You wished you could text him – perhaps just to have closure, to know where you stood.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You wouldn’t even know what to say.
~
One afternoon, you were out running errands in the city.
You hadn’t meant to take that road. In fact, you had planned to avoid it entirely. But it turned out it took only one moment of being lost in your thoughts to end up turning the wrong corner.
And you recognized it immediately.
The street where Brandon lived. Where he might be right now, just a few floors above the pavement. Only meters away from you.
You considered turning back. But you couldn’t. Something kept pulling you forward.
You stopped in front of his apartment building, your gaze drifting up to where his floor was located. He was probably still at work at this hour. Or maybe he wasn’t.
To avoid standing there awkwardly on the sidewalk forever, you had to make a choice quickly.
And before you could think too much about it, you entered the building.
You weren’t even sure what you were going to do. You doubted you had the courage to actually ring his doorbell. But somehow, it would have felt wrong to just walk away.
Because he meant something to you.
What a dangerous place to be.
You called the elevator. Rode it all the way up to the top. And there it was: The door to Brandon’s apartment.
You stood in the quiet hallway, eyes flicking between the bell and the door. Just one press of a finger and Brandon might be standing in front of you within seconds.
You tried to imagine the look on his face when he saw you. Would he be glad? Surprised? Or something worse?
With a quiet exhale, you shut your eyes, trying to make up your mind.
Eventually, you stepped closer and pressed your ear lightly against the door, listening for any sounds inside. There were none.
You didn’t ring the bell. He was probably not home anyway – or at least, it was what you tried to convince yourself of.
But still, you wanted him to know that someone was thinking about him. To leave something behind that told him you had come by.
You opened your handbag and pulled out a notebook and a pen. After tearing out a page as quietly as possible, you pressed it against the door and started writing.
Hey.
I hope you’re doing okay.
I would love to hear from you.
But no pressure.
Should you draw hearts?
Nah, that would be too cheesy.
You decided not to sign the note with your name. He would probably recognize your handwriting anyway, from when you had scribbled down your number after your first shared night.
You didn’t have anything to attach it with, so you gently placed the note on his doormat, hoping it would stay there until he got home.
After taking one last look at it, you turned back toward the elevator, heart pounding. You felt like a teenager sticking a note to her crush’s locker in high school. Hopefully Brandon wouldn’t find it embarrassing.
No. It would only have been embarrassing with the hearts.
~
Brandon had spent the evening wandering through the streets without any destination, trying to avoid the silence of his empty apartment.
Movement always helped when his mind wouldn’t let him rest. It was part of why running had become such a habit for him – it burned off energy, gave him something to focus on besides the heaviness in his chest.
He had smoked cigarettes, sat on benches, watched people, walked until he got too tired to keep going. Just anything to avoid being alone with his thoughts.
By the time Brandon finally made his way back home, it was well past eight. He trudged along the dimly lit streets, his legs heavy, hoping the exercise would help him fall asleep more easily later.
He entered his apartment building and called the elevator. He expected this to be a night just like so many others before, where he would shower, kill the remaining time until he went to bed, and try not to give in to old temptations.
But when the elevator doors opened onto his floor, he noticed something on the doormat outside his apartment. A piece of paper.
He knelt down and picked it up. The handwriting was unmistakable.
His stomach dropped.
Brandon fumbled for his keys and unlocked the door. Took off his coat and scarf. And he sank down on the floor, back against the wall, eyes fixed on the small note in his hand.
He read it.
Once. Then twice.
And a third time.
It was from you. You had been here. You had reached out.
His chest tightened. But for once, it wasn’t painful.
It was warm.
And before he even realized it, he was smiling. A real, genuine smile.
Not out of politeness. Not for an audience.
How strange that something so small could mean so much.
Brandon got up from the floor and went to retrieve his phone from the pocket of his coat. He unlocked it. And this time, he opened your chat.
The last message you had sent him was the one telling him you were on your way to his apartment. From last Sunday.
Nothing since.
He stared at the blinking cursor. Then began to type.
Stopped. Deleted it again. Started over.
And once he was finally satisfied with the sound of his message, he hit send.
Thank you for the note. I’m doing okay. We can call if you’d like.