gaming adventures for the faint of heart

I'm skipping some pages on either side here because there's long gaps where I have nothing much I can comment on, and I live in fear of the Tumblr post limit.

With a pacing very similar to the umbrella chapter, we seem to be spending the first third of the chapter flicking back and forth between Watanuki experiencing something unusual and him relaying the details to Doumeki, implying that this happened over a period of time. (Days? Weeks? More?)

I do LOVE the shot of the butterfly reflecting in Watanuki's eye though - especially because it's THAT eye. Not only does it show Yuuko as like the CORE obsession in Watanuki's mind, but it also shows what it's replacing. That eye used to be a symbol of his connection to Doumeki, with their shared sight and linked existences. Now he only has room for Yuuko Ichihara - he is pinning everything on seeing Yuuko Ichihara, and clearing out everything out that doesn't serve that goal.

WE as readers can make a solid guess what this is about, but it takes Watanuki a good few attempts to get anything from the butterfly at all. After 20 pages he hasn’t made any progress, until this encounter:

IN WHICH

SUCCESSFUL YUUKO. 

But naturally that’s all we get for the moment;

At which point I think this means we are either seeing the last fragments of Yuuko that exist in the dream world, or Watanuki’s own dream. He fits the description of it needing to be someone of considerable power to be able to conjure her image, and I think it would be kind of karmic in a way if this was him slowly summoning an image of Yuuko over time, through wanting it so badly. Either option would be interesting!

Naturally, next time he tries to engage with the butterfly we finally get the full picture.

And I LOVE the emotion ripping its way out of Watanuki in those few seconds where he knows its her and tries to close the distance. Just that overflowing happiness and RELIEF that it’s actually her, after all this time. 

Of course! The party is ruined when Watanuki is frozen in place and can’t get any closer. And I think at this point we can also see that Yuuko’s expression continues to be a little bit eerily out of place, like it was in the chapter cover. Like, this IS Yuuko, but it’s not the FULL Yuuko experience. Quite notably, she doesn’t speak.

And that links it all up - this IS Yuuko’s dream, but a dream she had a very long time ago. So, perhaps Yuuko’s final dream that was still adrift in the dream world after all, that Watanuki finally gets to see. 

It’s a little vague on WHEN this dream might have been. My mind immediately assumed this was before they had even met, with this being the first time she dreamt about Watanuki, but I actually don’t think that’s true. She has her wings here, which didn’t show up until a good portion of the way into xxxHolic, so maybe this is just one of the dreams she had before she passed, and maybe she left it here on purpose for him to find one day (like she did with the glasses). 

It’s possible she even left it behind during their very last meeting - when Watanuki promised he would see her again. Maybe this was her way of leaving him one final goodbye, so that his wish could be fulfilled (which, in turn, would fulfill hers, by allowing him to continue to survive).

Actually hang on let’s check the outfit. 

YES! Ok yeah this is exactly what Yuuko is wearing in her final meeting with Watanuki, both in the dream where said goodbye AND that final moment when she’s actually vanishing. I think we can safely say this is from Yuuko’s last day, with her having this dream of Watanuki’s future and maybe leaving it behind on purpose. 

And it so nicely connects with Yuuko’s final wish, which I will just put in here:

Which are also her last words!

It’s nice to think that even as she’s vanishing from the world, she’s seen a future vision of Watanuki a decade into the future, and so she can safely fade knowing that it will come true. That she DID leave Watanuki with the foundation to continue living, and that he loved her dearly, and would even see her again one day, just as he promised. 

Anyway, back in the present

Yuuko shows him a lonely bird in a cage. She opens the cage and her butterfly greets it. It grows happier.

Eventually the butterfly leaves, and the bird is free to take flight, flying away on its own. 

To me this reads as a heartfelt symbol of their life together - with Yuuko saving Watanuki from the sad existence he had been stranded in, opening the rest of the world up to him, giving him the tools (and love) he needed to grow and change, and leaving him able to take flight on his own, fully able to become the free and happy being he always had the potential to be. It’s a lovely metaphor, and I would interpret this as Yuuko’s final wish repeated - she knew she wouldn’t be able to speak in this dream. So she used this as a way to convey her hopes to him - this final wish for his happy future, and him being here to see it shows that it’s already come true. 

I don’t quite know what Watanuki is actually commenting on with that, but I love the kind smile she gives him knowing she’s conveyed her message. The images of the butterfly and the bird fly off happily together, and the look on Yuuko’s face is just so tender and loving.

And that’s the end of the dream I guess!

I LOVE it from Yuuko’s side. That she took her final moments and used them to leave this final loving tribute for him to find in the future, of how she’s been so happy to live their lives the way they did. 

Watanuki seems a bit sadder, but I can see why he would be. He’s spent ten years waiting to see her once more, and here it is, and it was surprisingly quick, and now it’s already over. 

I think from his perspective perhaps he still hoped he would be seeing HER again as it were - that he would be reunited with her in some way, and that ended up not being the case. There is nothing left of Yuuko to be reunited with, at this point, so I can see the impossibility of it, and I’m sure Watanuki could as well, but perhaps he never really lost the hope that if he waited long enough he really would just make it happen, somehow. And maybe now, after watching his wish finally come true, he knows that this is all he’s going to get. 

I think we can tie this into the big theme of xxxHolic as a whole as well. Every case in the story has been about some kind of obsession, and the cage arc was Watanuki building his life around his own tragic obsession as he closed off entire parts of his life in order to make it come true. And he DID it, he successfully fulfilled the ambition he was obsessed with, it just… wasn’t entirely what he truly wanted, in the end. 

I think that kind of loops back into how a lot of the customer cases go. There’s always a point in most of them where they realise they’ve either wanted something the wrong way or have been trying to make it happen incorrectly. For the nicer customers this revelation gives them the chance to course correct and achieve their wish in a happier route. For the customers who want something darker this revelation usually happens as they realise they’ve brought along their own demise. 

For Watanuki himself, this revelation seems to be coming right here at the end, AS he fulfills his wish, and realises it was never going to be more than this. 

He has fulfilled YUUKO'S wish though, as he promised to. He was going to fulfill Yuuko’s wish no matter what he chose to do with his life, but either way it is a wish fulfilled, just like he’s fulfilled his own, and now his obsession has to come to an end. 

As a wish he has been chasing for ten years, it is probably also terrifying to realise that now he actually has to choose what he does next. 

OH LOL yeah ok that’s probably the more literal interpretation of that dream. It didn’t occur to me. THANK YOU WATANUKI I APPRECIATE YOUR INSIGHT.

I do love that too though. That Yuuko left behind a message for future Watanuki that basically is like “Yeah ok I knew you were going to be stubborn and do this, but you’ve done it now, and now you can move on”. Very pragmatic of her. Very iconic. 

I… no. 

NO. 

NO WAY DID THEY REALLY DO THIS. 

ARE YOU SERIOUS. IS THIS REAL. 

I immediately want to lie down and cry. 

I GUESS THIS IS HOW WE FIND OUT THAT HIMAWARI IS MARRIED??

The chrysanthemum wine at least ties it back to the last few chapters, so we haven’t accidentally had another time skip since the last one, but Himawari’s life has significantly moved on since the last time we heard from her. And I guess the next thread of sadness to pull on is that Watanuki would have missed her wedding too, unable to leave the store as he is. 

It’s just all a swirl of sadness and time and the entire world moving on without him while Watanuki just sits in this building and waits forever. If I didn’t know Clamp I’d think they were writing out a very sad ending for Watanuki here, but I am at least relatively confident that they’re not doing that. It’s just continually very sad to see how much life everyone else is living and how he’s choosing Not to be part of it. 

There’s something in this page as well - something that I think we’re supposed to be getting about Watanuki’s place in it all. The conversation this time is MUCH smoother than he did in previous phone call with Himawari, which is nice to see, and I think meant to show that they've moved past the awkward stage they were at before, were Himawari was still chafing at the boundaries he had set and their bond had dimmed a bit as a result. But here they've both clearly accepted the new way their lives work, and Watanuki is eagerly encouraging the idea that Himawari’s marriage is a happy one.

I wonder if he even knows this from first hand experience, since their visits would be annual at best (and nothing at worst, which is not a lot of difference), so I’m not sure how much of this is genuine knowledge rather than just positive thinking. Which is... fine, too, I suppose. We can safely say that if there were any hints that anything was wrong Watanuki would do something about it for sure, but that’s not quite the same as knowing for sure that things are Good on every level. I think we’re just supposed to assume they are.

But the reality of that aside I think we’re suppose to be getting the idea that Watanuki is Happy with things as they are. He’s Happy with his permanent seclusion from Himawari’s life and only tangentially knowing her marriage through phonecalls. He’s Happy knowing that the people around him have moved on and are living their lives excitedly without him, with him existing in the margins with only the occasional updates. 

(Except Doumeki, of course, but that’s a whole different thing)

And even if Watanuki is content with the way of things there’s still an air of sadness to the whole thing, like the lingering melancholy of watching a bad ending play out for someone’s entire life. Though perhaps that’s just a little dramatic of me - I don't think that's what Clamp are swinging for here.

Anyway as the call goes on Himawari mentions Kohane and how beautiful she is lately, which transitions into us seeing that Kohane is also visiting Watanuki today. 

In which Himawari is completely right!

And if I’m not misreading the vibe here this whole scene does have a bit of a fatherly quality to it. The grandmother (as the replacement mother figure) was the other person who helped dress Kohane, and Watanuki steps into the exact same role of helping her dress as an adult, and even teaching her how to do it herself. It has a bit of a coming of age flavour to it, with Kohane’s parental figures helping her navigate the world in a way she will soon have to do independently, but done with guidance and kindness and an emotional calmness that would have been uncharacteristic of Watanuki at the start of the series. 

And I LOVE this moment, where Kohane is hesitating over the clothing knowing who the original owner was, and what it might mean that Watanuki is giving it away. 

And even though she senses a potential sadness there (a sadness that does still seem to exist, from the way he's drawn) Watanuki reassures her instead. 

Which makes the moment secure in its niceness, in passing on something with a connected legacy to someone who deserves it, without even having to say as much. 

And at the same time it becomes another pseudo-family bond, as if Kohane was inheriting a family heirloom - which she basically is, since she's definitely part of his family, and the clothing belongs to him now. And so he IS effectively her father figure in this scene, all things considered, which I think is another "Rounding Off" of the narrative. 

I think if we take the Kohane update alongside the Himawari update it feels like this chapter's goal is touching back on all the characters in the main cast and letting us know how their lives are going, and where they’re headed in the future. It’s nice, it’s very appropriate for a series that is about to end, and it also builds a very sharp dissonance between everyone else and Watanuki, who is forcing himself into stillness. But it’s nice all the same! 

Or mostly nice! I think I would have liked a few more details - especially where Himawari is concerned, since she has been so firmly sidelined since the cage began. I’d love to hear how she’s navigating her curse as she moves into married life and what that looks like, but I suspect we may not get any more insight into that before the series ends. 

Just personally I think it also feels like we’ve well and truly missed the window to have anything even slightly resembling a “main plot” for the cage arc. I guess now I can see that it was always just going to be disconnected little stories over time that show how things played out over a decade, rather than any unifying continuous plot that ever happened. Which… is fine? Dripping with melancholy but still fine I guess! Absolutely not what I thought would happen whatsoever, but here we are.

At the very least I think we can see the contrast between how Watanuki's relationship with Kohane and Himawari was at the beginning of the cage arc and now, how they used to be deeply (and rightfully!) concerned and sad and not quite sure how to deal with him. And even though that sadness is still there, he's clearly found a way to continue these relationships in a way where he can act happily and assist them in their lives and they've grown to accept it and move on.

It's... I don't know exactly, but I do feel like there was a missing step in the middle somewhere. Like it's NICE to see the difference between the beginning of the cage arc and the end, but we didn't see almost of any of HOW it changed. We just see that it did, with no real emotional challenges or choices or confrontations or developments along the way. Just a "here we are, ten years later, and it's a bit better now!". Which I think plays into my slight disappointment that there wasn't a core storyline where we saw any of these changes happen - we just don't get any of that middle ten years, we only see the results.

And I think one more missing element here (that might change) is that we can see Watanuki taking charge and being there for Himawari and Kohane, but we never see him let anyone be there for him. His relationships have become Giving, but never receiving. And specifically a kind of Giving that requires him to silence all his own feelings and focus entirely on saying the thing that will make the other person happy - even if he means it, that still means he's silencing a large part of his own feelings all the time.

I suppose that's where Doumeki comes in, but even though Doumeki is there, we don't ever see Watanuki express any emotional vulnerability around him that would imply he's ever letting anyone else care for him.

I'd like to rewrite that for him. I'd like it to be that there IS one of his relationships where he allows himself to receive care, and I think Doumeki IS in that slot in his life, I just don't think we ever SEE it. Doumeki being around for him is the closest we get, and maybe that's all he needs, but I very much doubt it. I want to crack open his life and tie those wires together but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself and I think we can just put that all on pause and move on.

... I am so well behaved and will make no comments about this whatsoever.

And now we enter the Doumeki portion of the chapter! And I LOVE that we get to immediately see he’s still very protective, checking in with Mokona the first chance he gets. I imagine it’s such a pattern now that it’s half of why Mokona found a way to be alone with him within seconds of him arriving, to pass on the Watanuki News as soon as he could.

Luckily no concerns over Watanuki for the moment! And you will see I am still being very well behaved with no further comments about the phrasing. 

I think if we connect this with what I was saying before, it's clear that Doumeki IS the one who cares for Watanuki, but he doesn't receive that care.

I suppose the closest we get is that Doumeki is the one person Watanuki allows to be around all the time, and the person who can help him with tasks that he needs done, and the one person he can complain at and not need to censor himself. It just doesn't feel as convincing since most of those complaints are also performative, and he often doesn't talk about anything concerning himself with Doumeki. But! I suppose we shouldn't be surprised that Watanuki's life is unbalanced and not entirely the healthiest. We are still in the cage arc, after all, even if this is the happier part of it.

Ok two thoughts here! On the one hand it’s very nice to get this glimpse into how the mechanics of their lives work together. Doumeki comes to Watanuki for help with research in his field and Watanuki accepts payment from the professor involved to give his insight. Which also means that people in Doumeki’s life know about Watanuki, if non-specifically, and Watanuki makes room to assist Doumeki in his career. 

On the other hand LOOK AT THIS HUGE WIN in terms of the maturity of their relationship! Doumeki describes Watanuki as “A friend who is well versed in such matters” and Watanuki accepts the description. This would have been BEYOND his ability to accept years ago (the last time he spoke to Himawari on the phone he refused the label!), so to have him so easily accept “friend” here is such a nice signpost for how far things have settled - especially since it’s criminally underselling the actual nature of their relationship, but it’s still mild enough that Watanuki has no complaints. 

We also don’t get to see his face as he accepts the label, which is a very fun way for it to have been anything really. And I will take that and run with it.

And now we shift into Business Mode!

I'll skip a bunch of pages here in the interest of staying within the Tumblr image limit, but the tldr is that Watanuki speaks to the spirit of the item directly, who can tell right away that Watanuki isn’t his real name.

And Watanuki talks them around to trying to figure out what they are.

And after a little game of questions and some creative bending of rules Watanuki succeeds!

AND they're happy about being correctly interpreted, since this also means they will be able to actually perform their function moving forward. 

And the specifics aside, it’s yet another story looking towards the future. This time the core of it is the idea that you need to be able to correctly know something (or yourself) before you can move towards a future life that matches you. 

WHICH could be a nice little condition on Watanuki’s life, if not everyone’s. I haven’t seen how this cage arc ends just yet but it’s correct in that Knowing yourself as something will open that path for you. Watanuki identifying himself as the storekeeper means he can successfully take on that role, where if he didn’t it would have been much harder.

Thinking of himself as responsible for Kohane opened up the path for him to become a pseudo-parental figure for her, which has lead them to where they are now. And I think that identifying that he can't have Himawari physically in his life allowed for them to eventually build this new version of their friendship, which is distant but at the very least safe.

And perhaps as a controversial counter example, Watanuki being unable to identify the correct role in his life that Doumeki fit into meant that Doumeki never got to step into that role, and they’ve turned it into this instead, whatever this is. Here at the end of it all they’ve settled on “friend”, and perhaps that means that’s the only path open to them now. (Unless he ever had the insight to see it as something else, and he never does)

(Though perhaps that's unkind of me!)

And the meaning of the Hei-Gushi I think also aligns with the stage of life that Watanuki is in. It’s arriving into his life now, right at the end of xxxHolic, where he’s built the foundations of this life and successfully become the storekeeper and helped the people around him step into their own lives leading into the future. So it’s kind of like a sign that it’s done now - the foundation is complete, and Watanuki’s life is now successfully set up and ready for whatever comes next. It’s time for the next happy thing to happen. 

WHICH I’m also choosing to interpret to mean that he’s possibly fulfilled the foundation of his wish as well, and that might come true in the final chapter (since where else would it happen?). And after that point Watanuki’s life continues on into whatever future he’s built for himself. 

It’s a surprisingly positive note to frame his narrative with, since so much of the rest of it has been warnings and contrasts, but maybe this is a sign that his ~chrysalis~ cage is done and he’s finally finished all his changes now. 

But speaking of the future!

Watanuki asks about the future of Doumeki’s temple and living space, and he responds that there are no plans on reconstruction at the moment. Despite that Watanuki is alive with visions for what he could make for Doumeki - and this is such a heartwarming turn it’s genuinely brilliant to see. 

EVEN IF it’s Watanuki kind of forgetting that Doumeki’s priorities are not aimed toward the temple right now (and instead aimed directly at Watanuki), Watanuki is so set on doing a good job to ensure that Doumeki and everyone around him have a great future.

It’s tying the theme of everything else that’s happened here directly together with a clear goal - Watanuki IS clearly intended to do this for everyone in his life, so much so that he will even do it openly for Doumeki, unprompted, and without pretending he isn’t. 

WHICH BRINGS OUT THE EGG. 

And THAT is such an interesting chain of thought within Doumeki that I’m fascinated by what led him there. Was it that Watanuki is proving to be sufficiently Positive in nature that he’s finally thinking the egg might not be necessary?

Or is he thinking that Watanuki’s goal of protecting him is a clear parallel of his goal of protecting Watanuki?

It’s hard to say with Doumeki but it’s a great little revelation either way, and we love to see it!

BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE? IF THEY JUST ENDED THE SERIES WITH A “Oh well didn’t need the egg! Thank goodness we brought it up for years and years and years but now we can throw it away” ?

WHAT IF THEY DO THAT?

IS THAT WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

I’m so pleased! It’s always such a joy to see her, and it’s such a rare occasion!

~

Though also I'm coming back in time with a warning that this is the wrap up with the unseen child situation, so the conversation between the grandma and Doumeki is going to cover things such as early death of a child and the ways this can happen (ie, health issues, abortion, etc) so if you are not in the mindset for this please feel free to skip this post!

~

One thing I really enjoy is that it’s clear that Doumeki has been here a number of times now, enough that she’s familiar with how he enjoys his drinks and is fond of seeing it. We LOVE that, since it means that Doumeki is out here spending time with both Kohane and her grandmother in his personal time. Watanuki can’t, since he can’t leave the store - and since he doesn’t like to text, I’m guessing he doesn’t keep in touch with Grandma as much - but Doumeki is! He’s spending the time! He’s there for them!

I just love the fact that even if Watanuki is walling himself off from everyone else, the rest of the group still act like the found family they are.

Goodness, and now we get even more unpacking of the darker situation Watanuki has worked himself into. 

All the previous chapters in this arc have built up the increasing risk and danger he’s always putting himself in (by dreaming too much, by disconnecting from human connections, by not balancing the prices correctly) but now we get more context about his recovery too. It turns out that he no longer recovers naturally like a human either. 

I’m not sure if this is because he’s stopped his time, or because he’s more supernatural than human, but it’s a very interesting continuation of what the Jorōgumo was saying a few chapters ago. She was saying that he would heal faster and that he didn’t need his glasses anymore - but it turns out that was probably a simplification on her part. Maybe she meant that he would recover from minor wounds quicker than a human, since his growing power would heal it faster than a mortal person can, but if ALL his healing is based on his powers then that’s the ONLY option he has. He can’t just sleep and recover over time, he HAS to recover using his powers, and since he was greatly wounded, he needs to use a lot of power to get better. 

If he doesn’t use his power, he won’t get better at all - like the Yaobikuni, who could just choose not to heal and stay like that indefinitely. It’s fascinating! And it’s also quite a big complication for Watanuki, who is always inclined to put himself in danger and risk his own wellbeing for others. 

It’s also probably worth noting that now that he’s going through this recovery, he’s told Doumeki and Kohane not to visit. Maybe this is for a spooky reason, maybe it’s not, but one way or another this is him once again putting distance between him and them in a time where people would typically rely on one another more and not less. 

Meanwhile! Answers for the unseen child. 

So there’s that! 

I’m not sure if I have anything worth adding in particular. I feel like there are different layers to this idea that may or may not work for you, and I can see it going either way depending on what you wanted (or didn't want) personally.

But let’s go back to the mention of Kohane. I don’t really want to pass judgement either way, but I think I want to pick at the idea that “as a woman” Kohane is presented as someone who would have “torn her heart” if she had known the child’s circumstances. And like, your mileage may vary! But I think it’s a bit heavy on the gender emphasis in a way I tend to not enjoy myself, but at the same time that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be true for some people. Personally, I think someone’s reaction to that would be tired to their own feelings and experiences more than their gender - I don’t think anything is inherently tied to anyone’s gender until society trains them to feel a certain way, but considering that this would be tied to Japan’s culture of gender 15 years ago I’m not going to pick arguments over the specifics. Maybe this was very true of the time, but in a more general sense I think that saying that Kohane’s personal experiences might have made her sensitive to this situation is always going to hit harder than “because she’s a woman”.

BUT at the same time, it’s interesting that they would treat Kohane carefully for this situation, due to her gender, and yet Watanuki was willing to prompt her to talk about her very personal family trauma (without full disclosure to her even in the moment) in order to make the child feel better.  

And I don’t know how those ideas connect for me yet. Maybe they don’t connect at all, but it seems strange to treat her one way and then the other within the same chapter. I think especially since Watanuki is presented here as “being thoughtful” when I personally wouldn’t interpret his actions that way. 

Ah, gender. The unnecessary final boss of everything. 

But let’s move on!

Actually no wait one more gender thing. It’s also interesting that the translation here uses “it” to describe the unseen child when I think a more gentle “they” would have been much kinder. But again, this was fifteen years ago, and without knowing for sure I would assume the original Japanese isn’t using pronouns at all in this section.

AND.

Gosh, ok, I have been struggling to write this next bit for quite a while, going back and forth about what I should say and what I shouldn’t, but you know what, this is supposed to be a little tumblr blog where we have fun talking about manga. I don’t think I need to start engaging with some very heavy controversial topics. I might just delete everything I’ve typed for the following pages and just present them without comment.

YOU KNOW?

I have thoughts, but I’m far from anyone who should be trying to have a say on this topic, so let’s just get back to the actual story.

AND YEAH SEE, HERE WE GO, THIS I CAN HAVE FUN THOUGHTS ABOUT

I think it’s absolutely hilarious that Watanuki seemed to think that even if he asked Doumeki not to come Doumeki would come anyway. 

Especially since DOUMEKI SEEMED TO BE COMPLYING ACTUALLY and only came because the grandmother asked him to make a delivery. Doumeki even seemed to text ahead to tell him in advance. 

It’s also hilarious that Watanuki sees him show up and immediately starts berating him and Doumeki replies with “Aren’t you angry?” LIKE YEAH DOUMEKI THE TONE HE IS USING IS IN FACT ANGRY. 

Unless this is supposed to be more ~resigned annoyance~ instead of anger, in which he’s commenting on Doumeki using the wrong entrance and Doumeki is going like “Oh I thought you’d be mad I came at all”. And now that I write it out I feel like that was the actual intended vibe of the page, and not the literal translation we got. 

But close enough! These disaster gays will never just talk about their feelings and we’re all going to be held hostage. 

OH My goodness what a callback. I’m pretty sure it was more than one bird but I still know exactly what they mean, it was that guy who had Evil Wolverine’s symbol in the store and we just straight up never addressed it.

I even found the post! Here it is.

AND WATANUKI IS BACK ON HIS BULLSHIT. 

Mokona was quick to say Watanuki was relying on Doumeki but LOOK AT THIS SHIT. It’s only NOW that we’re even learning who paid for ANYTHING here - turns out it was that store owner, who paid for it with this pipe holder. 

And I’m not sure how much it makes sense? If Watanuki couldn’t smoke his pipe while the child was there, how does the delivery of a pipe holder AFTERWARDS help? Why does he need to be “worried” that Watanuki can’t smoke the pipe? Does the pipe have a secret function that we haven’t been told?

But MOST of all, when Doumeki asks who paid Watanuki is just like “Who knows?” and Doumeki is IMMEDIATELY giving him the ultimate judgey stare THAT HE DESERVES, BY THE WAY. 

ONCE AGAIN, WATANUKI ISN’T TAKING ALL THE STEPS NECESSARY TO PRESERVE HIS OWN LIFE. He’s still paying fast and loose with the rules and Doumeki hates it BECAUSE HE WANTS WATANUKI TO SURVIVE, and Watanuki is the only one who seems to not care if he does. 

YOU WOULD THINK, THAT AFTER A WHOLE CHAPTER OF PEOPLE BEING SAD FOR SOMEONE WHO DIED, WATANUKI WOULD BE MORE ATTUNED TO PEOPLE WANTING TO KEEP HIM ALIVE, BUT ONCE AGAIN HE SHRUGS IT OFF LIKE IT’S NOTHING

Like sure, it all worked out, but ONLY BARELY, and only because Doumeki figured out all the things Watanuki didn’t explain to him, and EVEN THEN Watanuki was still massively injured. 

AND THIS. YOU KNOW?

Watanuki is like “Um I didn’t want to pay a price for the information”. BUT HE COULD HAVE?

If he cared about this situation as much as he obviously did he could have traded an item away to learn more? He uses to cooking as a price often so he could have thought of something if he really wanted to.

And he’s talking as if there was no price, BUT THERE VERY MUCH WAS. HE ALMOST DIED. DOUMEKI ONLY BARELY SAVED HIM FROM DEATH, and he definitely “paid” with his injuries, so there was a price after all!

He’s so smug about it but he’s just NOT careful when it comes to all the things he pretends he is, and he never explains anything to anyone around them to make them feel better about his choices. And it WOULD HELP if he did, so that Doumeki wouldn’t keeping looking at him like he’s about to burst into flames, and I can’t even blame him for it, because I agree with Doumeki. 

AND GOSH WHAT A CHAPTER. 

We open with Watanuki giving the traditional Yuuko opening speech. Which - initially I thought “Oh he gave that at the beginning of the cage arc too” but I fact checked myself and I was wrong! I don't think I have pictures of it but back then the speech does appear, but just as floating disembodied text. We don’t see anyone in particular saying them, only some of Yuuko’s pipe smoke and some butterflies. It’s a bit more abstract, since at that point we don’t quite know how things are going in the post-Yuuko world. 

Also I clearly wasn’t paying close enough attention because the speech from the beginning of the cage arc is Yuuko’s speech from the start of the manga about humans being the most fascinating things in the world. But HERE it is super clear the speech is about Watanuki, and he’s changed it entirely. It’s all about how the store functions, how people find it where they need it, how you have to pay a price - but it also centers Watanuki as a key element of the story. The reclusive store keeper, who has halted his own time. 

So the story of the store has now morphed into partially being about Watanuki as well. Watanuki is the CORE of the folklore about the store. He is intrinsically fused with the “great many strange things in the world”, and has completely replaced Yuuko in the living knowledge of the place. 

Which is somewhat of a progress report! Things are progressing, and not entirely down the path Doumeki had been hoping for, but here we are all the same!

Anyway, Maru and Moro are still treating Doumeki like a visitor. 

Mokona also explains the logic a bit, since Doumeki is technically living somewhere else, even though in the previous chapter it was more of a stop by his parents house to see them and get a few things before returning back to staying with Watanuki type of situation, the status seems to still count. Doumeki “lives elsewhere” and so is a "visitor", drawing a firm but invisible line between his existence here and his efforts to be part of Watanuki’s life THROUGH SHEER STUBBORNNESS. 

It’s certainly not out of appreciation, considering how Watanuki is STILL treating him. We have progressed to OUTRIGHT GLARING, as if he wasn’t a longtime part of his life? Who is delivering his groceries for him in this very moment? HE IS HERE BY REQUEST, TO HELP HIM LIVE, AND YET HERE WE ARE. 

Watanuki doesn’t express any thanks for the groceries either. The closest we get is a “this will do” with his eyes closed, which is diminishing any value of what Doumeki is doing for him, and leaves without saying anything else to him. 

Meanwhile Doumeki gets his updates from Mokona instead, asking how Watanuki has been and if he’s had any customers (he has). He doesn’t express anything in particular in response but you can still read the clear concern in his look - the same general concern as ever, but nothing that seems to have tipped the scales in either direction. 

We also get this:

Which is mostly Mokona bringing the mood back up again (THANK GOODNESS FOR MOKONA) but most importantly:

~Wife Material Watanuki~

(Now if only we could get this marriage to be functioning)

Though speaking of which -

TEN YEARS

T E N Y E A R S

Which is the first time I’m catching on to the fact that the reason we opened with Watanuki giving us a brand new speech, and us being introduced to Doumeki visiting the same way we did at the beginning of the cage arc IS BECAUSE WE’VE HAD ANOTHER TIME SKIP

I’m heartbroken how could this happen. WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WATANUKI’S BIRTHDAY. I THOUGHT FOR SURE WE WERE LEADING UP TO THAT. 

I am slightly unsure whether Watanuki counts his time before Yuuko vanished in this ten years number, it’s not specific either way, but we’re not entirely sure how long the Yuuko Time Period was anyway. Either way the implication is that it’s been UP TO another five years since the last chapter (maybe less if we’re lucky) AND. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROCESS THAT. 

ALL THIS TIME OF UNHAPPINESS BETWEEN THEM.

The reason Doumeki is still at university is that he’s working there now as a teacher assistant, so he’s doing post-graduate study (possibly working towards a master’s degree or a doctorate). In folklore, naturally, though Watanuki is still trying to goad him into admitting that he’s doing it for more than one reason. (Goading which Doumeki is, naturally, still immune to)

It has echoes of their past relationship but it has an air of sadness to it. Watanuki is trying to tease as if things are still the same, but Doumeki is replying matter of factly. That’s not very different to the way they communicated before, really, but there’s no real levity between them, like the weight of everything between them is heavier than Watanuki’s half-attempts at conversation. Especially because the TOPIC of conversation is something that hasn’t changed since the LAST time skip. He’s still asking the same things, still commenting the same way - they’ve probably had this exact conversation several times already, but Watanuki is stuck treading the same ground because he has no other way of relating to him anymore.

Though we also learn that Kohane is studying folklore now too (which I think leans the time frame towards being the full 5 years since the last time skip, since she now needs to be at least 18). And I think it’s also telling that Doumeki and Kohane both are dedicating their time and effort into doing proper actual study of folklore - specialising their careers into this field, making this the long-term dedication of their life - and Watanuki is stuck trying to tease out of them that they might have an ulterior motive in studying it. Because OF COURSE they do, they’re dedicated to having Watanuki in their life, it’s natural that they’re shaping the structure of their lives around this path permanently, and it says a LOT about the fact that they’ve lived ten years working in this direction, but all Watanuki can do is hint and not have the proper conversation.

Not to be too down on the moment, but it IS all framed with this tinge of sadness and the noticeable degrees of separation that aren’t even the focus but hit repeatedly in the background of every scene. It is, uh, still a downer of an arc! 

It’s also clear that Watanuki’s current customer is invisible to Doumeki (and us!) and Watanuki refuses to give him the supernatural sight through their shared eye that would allow him to see them. Whether this is for a reason or not he doesn’t specify, but it seems like it could be some sort of ghost or spirit child. 

Some time later (a different day) the unseen child is still there - BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY GUESS WHO’S VISITING

LOOK AT THIS STYLISH YOUNG WOMAN.

Kohane is still such a joy, and it comes up in conversation that Doumeki helps teach her at university.

ALSO

She can’t see the invisible child either, though she can sense that they’re there, so they intuit that Watanuki is using his powers to actively hide them from everyone. 

They mention Watanuki’s powers have grown immensely over the years, but there’s also this incredible sign of personal growth from Kohane’s side:

Which I LOVE for her. It's a mirror of the emotional arc Sakura had been on earlier in Tsubasa, and this is like what Sakura would have been like in adulthood. Less intense worrying over someone not asking for help, and more of a calm acceptance that if they needed help they would ask for it. It speaks very highly of her trust in the people around her, and Watanuki specifically. I’m not sure if he completely deserves it considering the prices he’s paying and the cost that has on everyone, but she thinks he deserves that trust, and I’m glad she does. Especially since she mentions that she thinks Watanuki understands that hurting himself only hurts others, finally. 

Doumeki seems less convinced but doesn’t contradict her. He comforts her instead and agrees, but I think I’m on Doumeki’s side here. As much as Kohane has a brighter outlook on Watanuki, we’ve seen that Watanuki has worked very hard to distance himself from the people who love him the most (ie, Doumeki), and THAT brings a certain level of pain for everyone involved, regardless of intention. It is a delicious strand of angst to add to the pile though, so I appreciate that, even if Watanuki in general is kind of a heavy topic everywhere we look. 

There is a strange moment a bit later:

Where the unseen child seems to have a very noticeable reaction to Kohane mentioning her mother. Everyone notices. And I kind of live for the panels with Doumeki and Kohane looking to the side, and TINY MOKONA IN THE MIDDLE WITH NO DISCERNABLE REACTION AT ALL. Peak reaction. 

Watanuki tries to assuage the unseen child by showing that Kohane is happy with her mother now - though there is a frame in between the question and Kohane’s answer where you can see Doumeki and Mokona watching from the other side of the room.

On their end it’s cute - Doumeki is side-eyeing Watanuki while Mokona is watching for Kohane’s response. But what a JUICY panel to include at all, because it introduces a beat of silence to the topic that’s already a little bit heightened. While Watanuki is trying to put on a kind face, Kohane looks back with such pause that she seems as taken aback by the question as I am. I don’t know exactly what her reaction to this is, but when she does answer it’s genuine and affirmative. 

But for ME, at least, it’s (once again) a moment laced with sadness. Because this IS a big question, and it IS an important question for Kohane, and it IS nice that Watanuki is checking in on her - except he’s not checking in on her for her. He’s doing it for the unseen presence in the room, and using her reply to (presumably?) make them feel better. 

It’s tricky at this moment in the chapter because I don’t know what the unseen presence will be yet. It’s possible it’s a protective spirit that could sense Kohane’s hurt and wanted to ensure she was safe, and this is Watanuki reassuring that she is. I don't think it was specfically the authorial intent behind the pause but for me it comes with a lingering hint of if only Watanuki had asked this for Kohane’s own sake, instead of someone else's. 

It's still possibly a net positive action, but just not entirely positive in execution. And I wonder if that’s what Doumeki is seeing from the other side of the room - Watanuki asking after the state of Kohane’s trauma in order to better suit a supernatural presence he’s not even letting them see, but is allowing THEM to be privy to the private details of Kohane’s life.

Seishirou keeps postponing the Bet's end, which kinda ends up in a weird variation of Hanahaki disease? Is it Sakura punishing him? Is he just dramatic? Who knows. I didn't think it through at all, lol

I really enjoyed reading about Yuki-onna lore (even though it was very surface level). I was thinking about the way to combine Japanese folklore with Christmas and overall TB vibe, which was quite a challenge for me.

My illustration skill leaves a lot to be desired (just a hobbyist), so I used a lot of references and traced some things that I was struggling with. CLAMP style was very hard to imitate, even though TB's style is very typical for the 90s, it still has a certain charm and many details that are not easily copied so I didn't even hope to be good at it.

RESULTS TIME

And how did everyone do? Eleven teams began the race, but did they all make it to the end? Did their passion and teamwork carry them over the finish line, or did they succumb to the pandemonium of the Piffle Chaos Grand Prix? Let’s find out now!

Coming in last place we have: Team Eleven

Now I’m sure we all remember the initial excitement over this team when it was first announced. It’s not every day the most [redacted] sorcerer in the multiverse attends the Grand Prix, let alone races in it! Expectations were even higher when it was announced that Clow Reed (if that even is his real name) would be joined by none other than famed musician Oruha! Right off the heels of her Piffle World Tour, crowds went wild over the potential this collaboration might bring. 

But our hopes were immediately dashed when the race began and it turns out there had been a critical error along the way! Team member Hikaru, of Angelic Layer fame, seemed to go offline just as the race began! WHAT A PITY!

Our Piffle Technicians have since reported that this was probably caused by the fact that Hikaru is, at the end of the day, still an Angel, and requires someone else to pilot her - who would then also still need to pilot the vehicle as well as the Angel in real time! But this pilot-ception manoeuvre was just not in the cards today, as Hikaru’s pilot Misaki is already racing in this very event, as part of Team 2! Oops!

As Team 11 was quickly disqualified from the race we asked Kohane for comment. Completely unphased, Kohane simply said that this was the outcome that the spirits had told her would happen. How mysterious!

So was this an administration oversight, or was this result decided by fate itself? When asked for comment, Clow Reed smiled charmingly at the camera and said something incomprehensible about visions of the future and setting things in motion for the desired outcome. What does this mean? Our scientists cannot agree! However it seems safe to assume that this is all Clow Reed’s fault - somehow!

Next up, in tenth place we have: Team Nine

Another promising team that seemed to get off to a bad start! While several of Team Nine’s racers had clear clear promise, they also suffered a rough case of what can only be described as terrible luck. 

One by one, each member of Team Nine was quickly disqualified when each of their engines failed through some highly improbable means. From suddenly being blown in the wrong direction, to driving over a banana peel on a track that had just been cleaned, this team saw it all!

After the race we asked Shūichirō Kudō if he was surprised by this outcome, however he merely shrugged and said, “Well, I’m a doctor. I don’t even know why I’m here.” How cryptic! Is this some clever marketing scheme? We approached Tōya Kinomoto for comment, however he waved us off, saying he had was heading off to his next part-time job. What astonishing work ethic we are seeing in the youth of today!

Next in ninth place: Team Ten

A very stylishly dressed team too, I might add! As you can see in this very real footage that is definitely playing before your eyes right now, the team’s co-ordinated outfits were completely out of this world! Renowned designer Hokuto Sumeragi appeared to take real pride in dressing every racer in an outfit to be remembered. It just simply can’t be conveyed in dialogue alone - oh, how lucky we are to see it in action and not just read these words on a page!

Things were looking up for this fashion-forward team as well, right up until something still unexplained seemed to happen to one of their racers, Hideki Motosuwa. Isn’t that right, Yamazaki-kun? 

Yamazaki: That’s right, Announcer-san! The cause of the upset seemed to be Hideki-san catching sight of one of the other competitors and having some sort of involuntary reaction. And so we investigate! We’re here with him right now, in fact. Are you able to clear up this mystery for us, Hideki-san?

[Hideki mumbles]

Yamazaki: What was that?

[Hideki whispers something]

Yamazaki: Well, viewers, his response appears to be, "No comment!" And how about the mystery as to why you’re still sitting in your vehicle and refusing to come out? Is it something embarassing? You do seem to be blushing and refusing to move!

[Hideki shakes his head]

Yamazaki: Well! No response to that one. Hideki-san has gone back to pretending we aren’t here and hoping for the best! Fascinating approach. 

Announcer: Indeed it is! And so we continue with the results. 

In 8th place we have: Team Four

A simply astonishing group of individuals in this team - and I’m not just saying that because it contains our President’s namesake! Or am I? I'll never tell!

Either way, Team Four delivered some absolutely stellar performances overall. They might have had a real chance of winning if it weren’t a mishap that overtook one of their members. Kohaku, who described themselves as “Not very good at much at all, really,” was surprisingly faring quite well in the race - right up until disaster struck! Right as the sun dipped below the horizon, and our racers entered the night-portion of the Grand Prix, poor Kohaku suddenly became… well, there are few ways to say it, dear viewers! They shrank! Right down to the size of what our scientists are calling a 'chibi form'. 

Though sudden transformations are not against the rules of the Chaos Grand Prix, this unfortunately left poor Kohaku unable to move the steering wheel and press on the accelerator at the same time - let alone the brake! They ended up coming to a complete standstill, accidentally disqualifying the entire team in the process. Quite unfortunate!

We approached their teammates after the race for comment, to which Tomoyo Daidōji replied saying, and I quote, “Ohoho!”, followed by, “I don’t mind losing at all. This means more time to film my precious Sakura-chan crossing the finish line! Isn’t she dazzling?”

And indeed, dear viewers, she is! As is mandated by our company President, who is - uh, completely impartial, I mean.

Very professional with no favourites at all. Yes. Can we move to the next team now?

In seventh place we have: Team Five

Another very promising team that could have taken the lead! Indeed, between Takeshi Shukaido, Chun Hyang, and Fai D. Fluorite, Team Five had outpaced many of their competitors by this point in the race. Things only came crashing down when tragedy struck - and Miyuki-chan seemed to lose her bearings and completely lost her way!

In another twist of fate, even our cameras soon lost track of her. After her initial wrong turn, Miyuki-chan seemed to fall off the face of the planet entirely. In fact we still don’t know where she ended up - a fact which her fan club of potential brides is extremely upset about. As well they might be, it’s not often our racers change realities mid-race!

Such a pity, though it did allow us to catch Kentarō Higashikunimaru staring wistfully at Miyuki-chan's potential suitors with stars in his eyes. His next words were the subtle but heartfelt; "I always wanted to be a bride."

So profound! And a perfect reminder that we here at Piffle Princess Company endorse you all to follow your dreams! You, too, can achieve anything!

Next, in sixth place of our competition, we have: Team Three

An incredibly young team, but one of immense talent! With the renowned exorcist Subaru Sumeragi, the skilled martial artist Meiling Li, and The Schism that Splits the Heavens themselves, Ashura, this team was ready to battle their way to victory! If only there was a fighting section of the race. Instead we just have good old vehicular destiny!

But one racer’s destiny was not foretold - young racer Hinata Asahi did not fare too well in this race of extreme excitement and alleged incredible danger! Despite her team’s strengths in other aspects, young Hinata just did not seem have the skill to make it through the entire course. How sad! We asked teammate Kimihiro Watanuki about this after the race. “It must have been hitsuzen,” he said, with a mystical and distant air. “Or maybe it was faulty brakes,” he added after a moment. “But probably hitsuzen!”

And now we come to the final five teams of the competition! From this point on no teams were disqualified - all teams finished the race, and what a race it was! The skill displayed by these teams was simply unmatched, as you can clearly see in this montage playing here! Wow! Just stunning all around. My favourite part is the music.

Another great time to be able to see this very real footage that definitely exists. 

But as races go, there can still only be one winner! 

Coming in a very respectable fifth place, we have Team Two!

Another team with an incredible track record, as well as a history with doing well in races here in Piffle! Syaoran-kun showed us once again that he is every bit the talented racer, and his teammates did the same! We were stunned to see Misaki Suzuhara and Yasha-Ō in action - and then there was Freya! Goodness. If not for these clips, you surely wouldn’t believe what happened!

Similarly, we have Team Six in 4th place!

With returning racer Kurogane-san leading for much of the race - again! - it was only shocking when they didn’t carry this lead all the way to the finish line. Not to be outdone, Umi Ryūzaki did just as well as Kurogane-san, as well she might! With all her experience driving complicated machinery, she was a natural pick for a possible winner. Who could have guessed that someone might only just outpace them?

Well, if anyone was going to guess it, perhaps it was the team in third place: Team Seven!

In a result that seemed almost fore-ordained, Kamui was ahead of the pack for the majority of the race, if not quite all the way in the lead. Just as refined in her technique was Hikaru, another extremely skilled pilot of extravagant machines - but none quite held a flame to their top scoring member, Sakura! Or, sorry, Tsubasa? One or the other! Whatever the name, this racer’s determination was ironclad, and their final results show it, securing the bronze medal overall. 

After such a stunning performance, we asked teammate Nokoru for comment; His reply was, “I could not have abided coming in first if it would rob a woman of their rightful place. There is simply no greater joy to know that I may have lost in service of the victory going to the true winners: women.” A small parade seemed to form under his supervision, all exclaiming how much they loved and adored women the most, complete with a marching band and several zoo animals. We uh… we don’t quite know what to make of this, but at least it gave Kamui a chance to find a quieter place to stare wistfully at fellow racer Fuuma from a distance. What could his thoughts have been? We surely don’t know. Truly, a sage of our times. 

Now the final two results were truly phenomenal - they ended the race neck and neck AND gave our judges the extra challenge of trying to identify them at high speed! In the end there is no doubt they were truly at the top of their game, outstripping our wildest expectations and even finishing within a split second of each other! But after many, many slow motion examinations we can definitively say that second place goes to Team One!

And just, just ahead of them came our new Grand Prix champions, Team Eight!

As you can see it was Sakuras and Syaorans on both sides of this intense inter-team battle. Surely there is no closer match for a Syaoran than another Syaoran, and a Sakura for a Sakura! Team One’s star player was even our previous champion, Sakura-chan - which has surely delighted no-one more than our madam president. But this time the only one who managed to beat Sakura was, indeed, Sakura!

Now, which is which? I sure can’t tell! But our records say this is Sakura Kinomoto, and she sure does have the dress to match! Both Sakuras had incredible team mates all around, but in the battle between Sakura and Sakura, it looks like Sakura out Sakura’d Sakura by the tiniest margin! Our deepest congratulations to both teams.

Normally we would jump to a message from our President for such an occasion but as true fans might have guessed she is a ever-so-slightly out of action from the pure excitement of watching her double Sakura showdown of her dreams.

Not only that, but all three medal winning teams have a Sakura in their ranks! We may not see our precious president back at work for a week at least! But here at Piffle Corp, we all understand the true importance of stanning Sakura above all else. See you again soon, Madam President!