p a y t o n

“I honestly don’t know how it’s possible to miss someone so much”

“I hope my absence knocks you flat off your ass. I hope it hits you in the middle of a warm Saturday evening while you’re sitting with your friends in the pub and for a minute you skip a breath, overwhelmed because you miss me and I’m no longer there because you broke me. I hope my absence never hits you when you’re alone and in need of company but when you least expect it, like when you’re lying next to her, wishing it was me.”

“I am not the girl your mother warns you about. I am not the girl who will use you for what she can get and then leave you. I am not the girl who will cheat on you. I am the girl your father tells you about when he tells you what to look for in a partner. I am the girl who will stay in and eat sandwiches with you and watch Netflix rather than make you spend hundreds of dollars at a fancy restaurant. I am the girl who will show up at your house when you are sick with homemade soup and feed it to you. I am the girl who won’t give up and who won’t walk away. I am the girl who as long as you’re trying, then I am trying too.”

“He never loved you, though he claimed he did. He couldn’t love you because he didn’t love himself. It’s not your fault, it’s his. You will be his deepest regret, you will be the name he whispers as he takes his last breath. He couldn’t love you, he didn’t know what love was till he lost you.”

“If you really care about someone you will make time for them. It’s not hard to pick up a phone and send a text message.”

“The problem with people like me is that we care too much. We break our hearts into pieces and give them away, until they are all gone. And we try to live with the broken hearts and broken souls we are left with. We sacrifice our own happiness to make others smile. But in the process we lose ourselves. We extinguish the sparks in our eyes and the fire in our bellies in order to fuel the dreams of others. We are the people who laugh at the end of every sentence and place a smiley face at the end of every text, to make sure our friends don’t think we are mad when we say “I need to go.” We are the people with loud thoughts and quiet voices, refusing to speak our minds at the fear of hurting another’s feelings. We are the people who would give our own life to save a stranger. The words ‘I’m sorry’ have a home on our lips. Always ready to apologize for something we never did. Because to us, an apology is better than losing the people we care all too much for. The problem with people like me is that we care too much. And the problem with people like me is that, deep down, we really don’t care at all. We spend all our energy breaking our hearts into pieces and scraping our knees and extinguishing the sparks in our eyes to make other people happy that there is nothing left for ourselves. And when it comes down to it, we really don’t care what happens to us. So long as everyone else is happy. We care too much about others. And we don’t care about ourselves at all.”

“trust game weak af”

I hate when people ask me “Why are you so quiet?”

“You’ll never be able to find yourself if you’re lost in someone else.”