༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

I honestly still don't care for my personal health at all. As long as I get to hang out with my friends and play video games. The lack of sleep, the meals that I skip, my occasional headaches and chest pains. They're all worth it. What's important for me is that my friends are happy. IF they make me feel like they don't want me in their lives then I'll leave. Otherwise, I'll stay.

I think that I'm really not meant to hang out with those people anymore regardless of whatever the state of our relationship is. It's probably my fault, oh well.

I've learned a really useful lesson these past 2 years. I really should be careful in handling my friendships so that I don't end up losing a good friend in the process. It's just really tiring while waiting for something to happen when it's obvious that I've already lost some people because of the mistakes that I made and the choices that I didn't really think through. Maybe sometime in the future I might be able to fix these broken bonds. But most likely, that's never going to happen cause I'm sure I'm going to be disconnected from those people forever. All I know is that it was all my fault in the first place and I just have to live with that. It'll all just be a bad memory and I can't ever do anything to change that.