let's just take it slow

Well that is simply unfair considering how handsome you are.

In that case, I guess I’ll have to refrain from accidentally injuring myself just on the off chance I’d get to see that gorgeous face. I knew visiting you would somehow come back to bite me in the ass - but I wouldn’t change it, I love seeing you in your element. 

I’m sorry I’m so handsome. It’s obviously all Mom’s fault. Or Dad’s. 

You haven’t quite mastered the puppy dogs eyes yet, that’s all. You’re definitely getting close though but I don’t think anyone could ever tug on my heartstrings the way Buddy does. Stealth mode is certainly something he possesses, one minute you could hear a pin drop it’s so quiet and the next he’s right behind you chasing his tail and knocking everything off the coffee table. I’ve already got the living room, dining room and kitchen all planned out in my head so I can’t wait to get in there and make it a reality. I still can’t believe this is all happening, when did we become so grown up? Actually, don’t answer that Mr. About to turn thirty. As much as I’d prefer someone a little less hairy to snuggle up with at night, he’s a good stand in.

How am I supposed to compete with Buddy’s puppy dog eyes anyway? He’s been controlling me his whole life and I’m not even mad about it. I’m so used to the sound of things hitting the floor that it freaks me out when it’s so quiet. One time it was quiet for ten minutes so obviously I had to check on Buddy and I found him on the coffee table chewing up one of my socks. I was honestly just so surprised that he even fit on the coffee table. I’m very excited to see what you’ve come up with. It can’t be any worse than the way this place used to look before you came along. Don’t remind me. I like to pretend that I’m not almost thirty because then I really am getting old and all I’ve succeeded in doing in my life is becoming a doctor and a dog dad. Do you think it’s too late to become a superhero? So you don’t want me to grow all of my hair out?

Well - you’ve got me there, but I managed to snag you so who’s the real winner here?

Maybe I’ll accidentally sprain my wrist while packing so I land myself in the ER so I can be one of those said patients.

I’m still going to say me because I get to look at your beautiful face everyday.

I think so too, he’s got his father’s mind that’s for damn sure. We’d never leave him, things would be way to quiet if we did and I don’t know how we’d cope with that. That is a very true point, for such a huge dog he such can move around very quickly but you’re right, he’s going to be beside himself with all that room to run around in. I’ve already got my interior decorator hat on ready to take advantage of all of our new space. It’s honestly probably my fault he’s so insistent on sleeping in the bed anyway, I couldn’t resist letting him sleep with me on your night shifts. I can’t help it, I need something to snuggle when you’re not around.

He’s definitely smarter than me. He manages to get himself treats and extra food but I haven’t figured out what I need to do to get that too. I wouldn’t know how to deal with so much quiet. Even when I come home at strange hours of the day and night, he’s always there to make way too much noise. He must have a stealth mode built in. How else would he be stealing food off my plate without me noticing? I’m very excited to see what you come up with! The apartment looked very shabby until you moved in and cleaned it all up. He does love a good snuggle and I’m just glad you’ve got him here when I’m not.

You are the absolute worst Mr. McCarthy.

How am I ever expected to get anything done?

I’m definitely the best, Ms. Fabray. I managed to snag you, after all.

That’s definitely what’s going through his mind with all of the boxes all over the place, I’ve been getting the famous puppy dog eyes every ten minutes and it is heartbreaking to say the least. Maybe we should’ve taken him to one of the hundred open houses we went to so he could’ve seen the yard - he’s going to love it. I feel like the thought of having the bed to ourselves ever again is just a pipe dream at this point, though I am very thankful he prefers to sleep right at your feet and not mine, it’s clear who the favorite parent is in this scenario. 

I think he’s a lot smarter than we give him credit for. I believe his plan for climbing into the boxes is to stop us from packing and leaving him. I feel like we would have lost him if we’d done that though. One minute he’d be there and the next he’d be up a tree or inside the house somewhere where he knows he’s not supposed to go. He won’t know what to do with himself with all of the space though. I don’t think we’ll know what to do with all of that space either. I 100% believe you are the favorite parent and that’s why he likes to make me suffer at night. Or maybe it’s just because I’m not always home at night so he gets the whole side to himself when I’m at work.

Imagine my struggle with both of your adorable faces distracting me

What, this face? 

I shouldn’t have packed his toys so early, that’s my bad. I’ve been trying to bribe him out of the boxes with treats but it doesn’t seem to be working as well as I’d hoped. No, it doesn’t make you a bad dog dad, providing you leave some food, a bowl of water and poke a few holes in the box - I’m kidding, please don’t leave my baby in a box. He may almost weigh more than me but he’s still my baby. 

I think he’s figured out that we’re moving. I keep telling him that he is coming with us and he’s even getting a big yard but he just looks at me like I’m leaving him and being a terrible dad. I could never leave your baby in a box. Think of how much room we would have in bed if he lived in a box though. I’d probably be able to stretch my feet out again and not sleep in the foetal position. It’s actually a miracle he hasn’t accidentally suffocated one of us yet.

INSTAGRAM: @patrick–mccarthy uploaded a new photo.

How am I supposed to pack with this face staring at me? 🐶📦

I think so too, but I think he may be beginning to out grow the apartment. He loves the outdoors so much it’s a shame our apartment doesn’t have a yard, though he probably wouldn’t want to ever come back inside if it did. I thought goldfish were one of the easiest pets to keep alive, or was that a cactus? I’m not too sure now, either way I’ll chalk your fish killing ways up to the fact that you were a teenager and I know how forgetful adult Patrick is so I can only imagine how forgetful teen Patrick was. They are aren’t they? They do grow so super fast though, I can’t believe how big Carmen has gotten already I swear she doubles in size every time I see her. As do you, my love.

You might not think so, but from the day we met I feel as though my luck changed in a very good way. I wonder if there’s adults out there that actually wash everything at the same time and don’t let anything soak, probably those with dishwashers I guess. Four days seems a little excessive, I think I’d have to swoop in and wash them if I saw them soaking for more than two days, I’d be afraid they’d start to smell or something. I used to think Wikipedia was the be all and end all of facts so in middle school I had to write a paper on the French Revolution and got all of my info of Wikipedia… Needless to say, I failed that one. 

He’s definitely not an apartment sized puppy. At some point, I was planning on living in an actual house with a yard instead of an apartment but the thought of all that money stresses me out so maybe I’ll just make up a fake backyard in our apartment for him. I think it’s both and yet I still killed a goldfish. Teen Patrick was the worst. I still don’t know how I managed to remember to do any homework and get good enough grades to make it into med school. I know! I still can’t believe she used to be so little and now she’s becoming so big. Soon she’ll be up and walking and then we’ll never be able to catch her.

Goodness I don’t think I want to imagine that, it hurts my head to think about him being any bigger than he already is. Our boy is all grown up. I’m sure there’s a few similarities between the two, the main one being keeping something other than yourself alive and I think you’ve nailed that thus far. I think that’s normal to get scared, when you don’t know why a baby is crying it can be scary. I still freak out sometimes so you’re not alone. You make me feel nothing short of perfect, everyday.

It is, and now every time I see it I think of you and I smile a little, so now it’s even more lucky. Obviously pots and pans need to soak, that is also law. I’m definitely not smart enough to change the entry on Google. Wikipedia, maybe. But not Google. Damn, it’s always been my biggest dream to date a champion poker player so I guess I’ll just have to lay that dream to rest.

I think he’s the perfect size for us. This is a good sign for me since I killed several goldfish when I was a teenager and Buddy requires a lot more care than goldfish do. Because I’m the oldest, I don’t actually have any nieces or nephews yet to practice looking after so it’s quite scary seeing how small babies actually are. That’s good, because you deserve to feel perfect everyday.

I think that might be a thing, I can only imagine how hard that would be to do though, you’d have to try and hold him still while I brushed because there’s no way I’d be able to keep him still enough, he’s getting way too big. I have a feeling those types of books may just be for human children my love and I don’t know if the same rules apply for our fur baby. You have, but I could never get sick of hearing it.

How could I forget? My lucky bra is still a pale shade of pink thanks to your handy work. You tried to help and that’s all that counts babe, but you stick to dishes and I’ll handle the washing; let’s not mess with our dynamic. Well you swooning makes me swoon so it’s about to be swoon city up in here. That’s definitely how the law works Patrick, look it up, it’ll say “everything Gracie says is law”. Shoot, you’ll never be a champion poker player… is it too late for me to use the whole “new phone, who dis?” line?

He’s massive! Imagine if I’d bought a Great Dane puppy instead. I’m sure there might be some crossover between human children and fur children. My theory is that if I can keep a puppy alive, then I’ll be okay with human children one day. Although it still scares me whenever I hold Carmen and she cries. Then I’ll tell you always that you’re perfect, my love.

I think you can get specific treats a stuff for their teeth, we should definitely look into it. You’re not a bad dog parent, you’re the best dog parent he could’ve hoped for and I’m not just saying that because I love you; it’s true. I like the puzzle piece analogy so let’s roll with that. I’ll make some snacks and sandwiches so we can have a picnic too.

It does make it a lot easier to spend which I guess is kind of a downfall but it’s just so simple. Even if that happened, (heaven forbid) I still couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather do life with. Even if it were homeless life, doing it with you would be worth it. I love you more, Mr McCarthy - no arguments, I said it first so therefore it is law. Your lying face is one of my favorites, the way your lips turn up at the sides to show your dimples just ever so slightly. Adorable.

We should definitely do that. I’m wondering if I should try brushing his teeth sometimes or it that’s too weird. Do they have books about how to be a dog parent or is that just something they make for people who have human kids? Snacks and sandwiches?! Have I told you that you’re perfect yet today?