Enjoy your work and be successful!

  Today I broke the rules!

  Visiting a company today I parked in the Managing Director’s overly sized parking space.   The Managing Director was apparently not on site but the receptionist appeared from nowhere at breakneck speed to tell me in no uncertain terms that I couldn’t park there.  What ensued was 3 people being disturbed from their work to rearrange their cars to make space for me – cost to the organisation – who knows?  As I left the meeting two hours later the MD’s overly sized space was still vacant.

  Some Chinese friends told me recently that in China it is customary to carry large amounts of cash in case you have to pay for something in an emergency.  For example if there is a minor road accident a deal can be struck there and then without resorting to insurance companies.

  Other people have told me that they always sit in the same chair to watch television, cut the top off a chocolate bar in a particular way, never run for more than 10 minutes at a time, only eat fish on certain days of the week, check their bank account every hour, count everything in sight – the patterns on the wall paper, paperclips, street lights, people in the room at a party or at the theatre. 

  So where do these rules we make for ourselves, our organisations and our communities come from?  Rules can form the very fabric of who we are and what we represent and have a habit of creeping up on us.  If  unchallenged we can continue to live by a set of what could be an arbitrary set of rules which impact our behaviour sometimes positively and sometimes in a limiting way. 

  Of course, many rules exist to enable society, individuals and organisations to function safely.  In fact I would argue that all rules have a safety element behind them.  Take road traffic rules for example – they exist to create a code of conduct which keeps people safe.  In organisations both written and unwritten rules can develop out of best practice and dictate the behaviour of those employed by the organisation.  But what about the rules that have crept up and become part of who we are?  Where did they come from?  Was it your upbringing as a child?  Was it the school you went to?  Are they the result of your past experiences in any context?  Are they a result of your metaprogramme profile?

  What rules have I set for myself?

In what way does each rule keep me safe?

Is it stopping me from doing something?

How else could I satisfy my need for safety?

Does anyone else have this rule?

What do you believe about each rule?

Does it come from a metaprogramme (see on line profiler)?

What would happen if you changed your rules?

  Societal rules

Who’s got it right?

  I was staying in a hotel whilst training.  The hotel was a small family run hotel and the only one of its calibre in the area.  As I was having dinner I watched a group of elderly people gather at the bar.  From their conversation this was a regular Wednesday evening event and an opportunity for these people to get dressed up and have dinner together.  As the waiter indicated that dinner was being served each lady took the arm of a gentleman and carefully walked the length of the dining room to their table which was at the far end.  On reaching the table, one lady who had been one of the slower walkers with a slight limp, realised she had left her drink in the bar and all but ran back to the bar to retrieve it. So what was the societal rule which led to the behaviour about being elderly here?

  Deepak Chopra advocates that getting old is a learnt behaviour and dictated to by the society in which we live.  We have plenty to tell us we are getting old in the west – bus passes at the age of 60, statutory retirement age, concessionary entry into public events.  In the east there are communities who view age very differently referring to the years of 60 plus as the sage years to be admired and sought after, working and fathering children well into their 90’s.

  Nonsense rules

  Here are some that we have come across that appear to be nonsense but if you dig deep there will be a belief behind them –

  Ü Never step on the cracks in the pavement

Ü When sitting I must count things – the stripes in the wallpaper, the patterns on the carpet, the cats eyes in the road

Ü Always take the number 24 bus, even though the 33 and 31 go to the same place

Ü Put the sticker from the bananas on the side of my desk every day

Ü Say hello to the statue in the park as I pass it on the way to work every morning.

Ü Always take the third slice of bread out of a loaf

Ü Always check the time on the station clock even though I already know the time.

  These may seem like innocent activities, and for many people they are, but ask yourself what positive things you could be thinking about if your mind was not caught up in these silly dances that serve only to keep your mind distracted from other things. Also note that any kind of thinking uses energy. You can get tired just sitting and thinking. The more you focus on your outcomes the more quickly and easily they will be achieved. The more distractions you have the less focus and energy will be available to you.

  Organisational Rules

  Over-interpretation of health and safety regulations have given us a whole set of societal rules.  Working in an overheated room within an organisation recently I asked if it was possible to open a window. The window was a little lower than normal and about a metre square. The question was met with shock and horror from a lady from the Human Resources Department who declared that someone might fall out.  Unless they were given an almighty shove and pushed forcibly through the window this was highly unlikely but nonetheless the lady was reacting to the rules she was having imposed upon her.

  What are the written and unwritten rules in your organisation/team?  I bet you’ll find a few around presentations! Do they ever get challenged?  Are they stifling creativity?  What new ideas can you come up with to make improvements?  Try using this article as the basis for a team challenge.  Have fun!

  Pat Hutchinson - Executive Professional Coach and Marshall Goldsmith Accredited Stakeholder Centred Coach.

This top tip from Harvard Business School appeared in my mail box today.  It was taken from a blog by John Beeson – what’s great about this is that now you can measure these traits – it’s called Harrison Assessments.  Working with work place behavioural preferences Harrison takes the heartache out of succession planning, recruitment and development.  To find out more follow this link –

 http://www.quadrant1.com/Resources/harrison-assessments

If you've been at your company for a few years and hope to move up to the next level, here are three things you can do to increase your chances:

Take initiative. Producing results in your job is just table stakes. Go beyond the confines of your current role and find ways to improve your group's performance. Take on problems that no one else is solving.

Choose your battles wisely. Display a sense of professional maturity by choosing battles that can be won. Not every inefficiency is worth tackling. Only take on problems that increase customer satisfaction, revenue, or productivity.

Show you can manage people. This can be hard if it's not one of your official responsibilities. If so, try to showcase your interpersonal and people management skills when working with groups.

In his excellent book 'What Got You Here Won't Get You There' Marshall Goldsmith recalls that he first entered the world of C Suite coaching when he was asked by a CEO to work with a young man who is 'a smart, dedicated, ethical, motivated, hard-working, entrepreneurial, creative, charsmatic, arrogant, stubborn know-it-all jerk'.  The CEO went on to say that he was giving him a year to change or he was out!

This got me thinking about the tipping point that successful leaders face.  At which point does repeated success tip over into 'arrogant, stubborn, know it all' and what impact is this having on stakeholders?  When does confidence become arrogance or ownership and commitment become self-delusion or optimism and persistence turn into stubborness and an unwillingness to let go of the past?  This tipping point can mean the difference between further success and a downward spiral. 

Some behavioural indicators include a need to win under any circumstances, inability to listen to ideas and feedback, passing judgment inappropriately, failing to recognise excellence, over contributing where it isn't ncessary, a need to be right and passing destructive comments.  What leaders often fail to recognise is that the intention behind their behaviour often doesn't match the perception of those on the receiving end.  As its the perception that determines the response its the perception that is invariably more important than the intention however noble it may be.  Successful leaders are often blissfully oblivious of the impact they have on those around them.  Short off the cuff remarks are headline news from someone in the C suite whereas the same remarks go unheeded lower down the organisation.

Recently we spoke with a director of a national organisation who was tearing her hair out because of the attitude of their new 'sweep clean' CEO.  The CEO appeared to have no concept of the devastation he was causing and the lack of morale that was resulting amongst the people.  Whilst he may be right in the changes he is implementing at a sructural level, the approach he is taking is causing anxiety and upset throughout - to the extent that good people are leaving for pastures new.

Of course the tipping point is avoidable but it takes courage and first the leader has to recognise there is a problem despite the degree of success already achieved.  How many leaders do you know who actually check with stakeholders what impact they are having? How many have the humility to take on board feedback and even venture to ask for and maybe have the humility to apologise for giving off the wrong vibes?

Have you ever thought why you don't trust someone at work?  Often its just a feeling of uncertainty about something they said or did - a feeling that makes us nervous about putting our faith in them.  Of course if they are caught steeling or engaging in other criminal activities where there is hard evidence then your faith is understandably challenged but most of the time it is just a feeling.  In this blog I'd like to give some examples of what we sometimes refer to as personality clashes which can have a significant impact on our ability to trust someone.

The highlighted words in the article refer to behavioural preferences - more information can be found about these by completing the profiler on our website at http://www.quadrant1.com/Resources/meta-programmes

CEO of International Pharmaceutical Company

CEO's are paid to have the vision to see an opportunity, the courage to make a decision and to execute.  Sometimes they appear to do this at an exceptional speed.  In this example the CEO was very quick at seeing developmental and cost saving opportunities for his company but became increasingly frustrated at his CFO who would put a halt to any major financial initiatives.  He simply didn't trust the CEO to do his homework. 

The clash - high levels of procedure, thinking and internal reference, considering on the part of the CFO prevented him from trusting the fast options, doing, feeling patterns of the CEO.  

CEO of National Charity

A similar scenario occurred with another CEO - this time with a national charity.  The fast thinking, visionary approach of the CEO who had the ability to spot funding opportunities, act and execute quickly was alien to a project leader who preferred to analyse, assess and consider before taking action.  The result in this case was a complaint against the CEO by the Project Leader because she just didn't 'trust' him.

IT Specialist

Bob was asked by his CEO to undertake a complex new project.  He was chosen because of his level of expertise in this area.  Bob listened intently to the briefing given by his CEO.  When asked about the experience in a coaching session later, Bob revealed that he felt 'insulted'.  The CEO had not given him enough detail around what was required leaving Bob feeling uncomfortable and unable to trust his CEO's decision approach.  

CEO of large Gas Corporation

Geoff was very people focused.   When he asked the Sales Director how the sales team were doing he received a spread sheet full of targets and achievements from his information focused Sales Director. The CEO was more interested in morale, development and general well being.  The result - the CEO had reservations about whether or not the Sales Director was taking care of his staff.

Learning and Development Manager

The Learning and Development Manager of a large retail chain had both a focus on people and an in time pattern.  Combined these patterns resulted in him paying little attention to his calendar whilst he dealt with people's issues as they arose.  The perception from those around him was that he couldn't be trusted to meet deadlines.

Most people would agree they would like their leaders to be competent, knowledgeable, visionary, progressive and decisive with excellent interpersonal skills, innovative and open to new ideas.  How about a propensity for self improvement, a desire to lead, an outgoing personality, a reasonable level of self acceptance, a balance of analytical and intuitive skills, a balance of diplomacy and frankness and a balance between assertiveness and helpfulness.  There is, I am sure, an endless list of traits we would like our leaders and upcoming leaders to possess.

As a rule leaders tend to gain their positions through demonstration of exceptional skills in the operational side of their roles together with an enthusiastic and optimistic attitude and relevant experience.  Operational expertise and experience are relatively easy to measure and as such dominate the decision making process of leader selection.  But what of the rest?  How do you measure all the traits mentioned above?

Many companies have introduced comprehensive work based competency frameworks - in some cases documents running into 30 + pages.  Such frameworks clearly indicate the type of attitudes and competencies the organisation is striving for but rarely get it right when it comes to measurement.  Measurement is often done on a scale based on the subjective opinion of as few as one person (often the manager),  I have often spoken to Learning and Development specialists who don't even use their own competency frameworks, not because they lack substance but because of their lack of user friendliness and reliability in measurement.

We have been working recently with an organisation which has just undergone a merger.  Initially we worked with the smaller organisation who were fearful of being ' swallowed up' by the larger and that prime jobs would escape them.  We were able to help them position themselves and the outcome was very positive.  Since the merger the organisation has been streamlining its talent management approach.  They began with the senior team spending time identifying what an 'outstanding' organisation might look like.  They came up with 23  behavioural traits they believed would be demonstrated in such an organisation. 

So this is where the measurement comes in.  Harrison Assessments measure 156 traits based on work based preferences.  It is highly accurate and measures the very things mentioned above.  The 23 traits were mapped across to produce a Harrison Assessment capable of measuring them.  This has been incorporated into their appraisal system so that everyone in the organisation is measured against these basic traits.  Staff are now able to have conversations around such things as 'taking initiative', levels of enthusiasm, optimism, ability to handle stress in difficult circumstances and so on. 

The Assessments are also used for recruiting people into roles.  They measure suitability for a role over and above eligibility - leaving nothing to chance and increasing talent management accuracy manifold!

Pat Hutchinson

I recently had the privilege to hear Gary Hamel speak at a conference.  Apart from being an enthusiastic, dynamic speaker his views on current business practices are revolutionary and refreshing.  In an era of fast moving change and innovation we appear to globally still be stuck in archaic styles of management designed to deal with the issues of the industrial revolution.  But modern day responses to challenges appear to be even more and more measurement, streamlining and structuring resulting in what Gary refers to as 'core incompetencies'!

He argues that management structure is built for conformity not for innovation and asks 'When were you trained as an innovator?  How would you get funding for your idea? How is your innovation performance measured?  What if you had a Steve Jobs or a Mark Zuckerberg working in your organisation - would you want to harness their creativity and reward them handsomely for it or pay them a salary, tie them up in rules and process and have them leave to do their own thing?  In a world where innovation is so high on the agenda (way above satisfying basic needs) we are constantly stifling innovation.

Innovation does occasionally show its head - often brought in from the outside to rebirth an organisation when the share price is slipping into oblivion and desperate measures are needed - Nokia is an example.  So what if organisations were set up for innovation?  What would KPI's look like if innovation was high on the agenda and reward systems reflected this?  What if everyone in the organisation was asked to think strategically not just the top few?  How would our organisations look if we developed a more co-operative environment with consesus being the guiding line rather than a top down pyramid?

What if we introduced new words to our value sets - joy, truth, justice, beauty, love honour, equality.  What if we started to employ people who really enjoy what they do, get excited about coming to work because they know they have the mutual respect of their colleagues and their ideas will be given air time?  What if we had teams of self-managed professionals, colleague letters of co-operation and understanding, responsibilities not jobs and opportunities not promotions?  What about eveyone in the company taking responsibility for finance through joint co-operation?

Innovation takes courage, a prepareness to stand out and be different, sometimes a clean slate and definitely skills to influence and communicate both to individuals and groups.  Senior teams everywhere need to wake up to talent stifling that is rife in their organisations and start to actively encourage ideas, innovation and comfort zone exit!

Pat Hutchinson - Quadrant 1 International

Top Team Tune Up

How often do you get the feeling of overwhelm?  What causes you to feel overwhelmed? How does it manifest itself?  How do you behave when you are overwhelmed?

Of course overwhelm can be a positive thing - we are sometimes overwhelmed by unexpected generosity, commitment or achievement.  We may respond by laughing, thanking enthusiastically or even crying tears of joy.  Such responses will more often than not generate positive flows of energy around the body and may have the impact of making us want to do more - spurring us on!

Negative overwhelm may have the opposite effect.  Overwhelm caused by too much work, repeated poor performance, shortage of resources, too many requests for things to which we can't say no are all common phenomenon. But what about the unexpected ones - you have practised your presentation for weeks in front of the mirror and then go to pieces when you get in front of the real audience because you are suddenly overtaken by a feeling of overwhelm.  Is it the room, is it the people or is it something you suddenly remember you have left out of your presentation?  Something has triggered it - you may not even be aware of what it is. 

Maybe you have had an idea about which you are very excited and you prepare to share it with your team.  However, when you get into the meeting you fail to raise your idea.  What happened?  Was it the seemingly negative vibes in the room, was it a sudden realisation?  Did someone say something to put you off?  You leave the room feeling frustrated and inadequate. 

Perhaps you have gone to a networking event with every intention of speaking to people, finding out who they are, what they do and where they come from.  You dress in your 'confidence clothes' and make sure you have a goodly supply of business cards but when you get there you stick with people you already know or sit in a corner and say nothing.  Something happened between making up your mind to do it and the overwhelm you experienced on entering the room.

How many potentially great relationships are never formed, creative ideas are there that never see the light of day and job applications that never feel the weight of the 'send' button due to overwhelm? 

Overwhelm is just a state of mind that keeps us stuck in our comfort zone - learn to control the state of mind with some simple techniques and people achieve amazing things. They step out of the comfort zone to where the magic happens and, in the words of a very good friend of mine, move from the ordinary to the extraordinary.  With success comes happiness!

How I hate this phrase!  Going through my morning routine I was listening to Breakfast TV and, as has been the norm for the past 10 days or so, there were a number of reports on the riots which gripped the country for 4 days.  There were 3 separate references to the phrase 'keeping them off the streets' referring to young people - one from the news reporter herself, one from a politician and one from a young person who was taking part in a youth initiative in his community - yes even he said 'it (the youth initiative) keeps me off the streets!'  

So by definition what happens when they are 'on the streets?'  The expression implies that these people can only be kept out of trouble whilst actively engaged in some kind of project or initiative so at times when they are 'on the streets' them must be out of control.  Even worse what happens when they are no longer eligible due to their age to belong to any of these initiatives?  They are 'on the streets' permanently then.  How would it feel to grow up knowing that you had to take part in a youth initiative just 'to keep you off the streets'?

The only person who spoke sensibly was the young youth worker who referred to the initiatives helping young people gain their self respect, to take responsibility for their behaviours, to engage in community spirit, to learn life skills which will stand them in good stead in life generally not just whilst on the project.

Boy do we need more like him!

Last night I went to the cinema.  Having bought our tickets we had 10 minutes to wait before we could enter the studio so I took up my usual activity of people watching.  I watched a young lady probably around 18-22 years of age walk across the reception area with a large plate of nachos.  Having devoured these she returned to the counter to purchase an over-sized box of pop corn and proceeded to munch her way through them.  Needless to say this young lady was carrying a good deal more than her fair share of weight on her body.  I looked around to see others eating similar amounts of chocolate, nachos, popcorn, ice cream and burgers made with cheap white baps, swilling it all down with an array of sugary soft drinks.  

My eyes strayed to the food being offered for sale - not a healthy morsel in sight. My first thought was to muse over the reasoning of cinema owners who believe that all cinema goers want to eat such unhealthy, empty calorie food. Then I thought about the time and effort, most of which has gone unnoticed, that the European Parliament has gone to to ban certain herbal remedies - natural healing remedies which have been used for thousands of years.  Whether you believe in such remedies or not, evidence of them doing harm is spasmodic and largely unproven or contaminated and yet the European Parliament has decreed that many of them 'shalt not be used'.

Going back to my cinema experience - its more than likely that the unhealthy diets of these people will lead to serious ill health in later life placing a huge burden on the national health and therefore the tax payer.   They will be developing type 2 diabetes, and many other weight related diseases, and demanding gastric bands as a matter of human rights, protecting their right to choice and diversity in what they eat.  But what about the herbal remedy consumers - don't they have a right to choose as well?  

Today I broke the Rules!

What rules do you live by?  Are they serving you well or getting in the way?

  Rule 1 – Don’t park in the Managing Director’s Car Space

Visiting a company today I parked in the Managing Director’s overly sized car parking space.  The receptionist appeared from nowhere at breakneck speed to tell me that I couldn’t park there.  2 executives appeared to rearrange their cars making space for my car.  It transpired that the Managing Director was on holiday and of course when I left some two hours later the overly sized space remained stubbornly empty.  I smiled to myself and wondered just how many executive man hours were lost in this and similar mini dramas during the course of a normal week. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIIFz-0Zv8I  Barry Cannister on Car Parks

Rule 2 – Always carry lots of cash in China

Some Chinese friends told me recently that in China it is customary to carry large amounts of cash on your person just in case you have to pay for something in an emergency.  For example, should you happen to be involved in a minor road traffic accident it is common practice to settle payment at the scene – no need for lengthy insurance claims!

Rule 3 – Act like you are old when surrounded by others who think they are

Some time ago I was staying in a small family run hotel whilst training.  As I was having dinner I watched a group of elderly people gather at the bar. From the conversation it transpired that this was a regular Wednesday night event and an opportunity for the group to get dressed up and get together for dinner.  I watched with delight as the waiter indicated that dinner was about to be served and each lady took the arm of a gentleman to lean on as they walked slowly to the end of the dining room.  One lady who appeared to have a limp and walked particularly slowly, on reaching the table, realised she had left her drink in the bar.  She turned on her heals and all but ran back to the bar to retrieve her drink.

Rule 4 – Vastly over interpret Health and Safety Regulations and remove any propensity people may have for common sense

  Working in an over heated room in an organisation recently I asked if we could open a window.  The window was at about thigh height and about two feet square.  The request was met with horror from a delegate from the HR department who exclaimed ‘someone might fall out’.  Unless they were pushed with an almighty shove this was highly unlikely.

  Rule 5 – Never press the button on a pelican crossing in case it upsets the drivers

  Paul had an extreme ‘others’ pattern (check out the on-line metaprogramme profiler to discover patterns which may be behind your own personal rules) and would wait for a gap in the traffic rather than press the button and risk upsetting the drivers.

Rule 6 – Check every e-mail 5 times before sending it and twice afterwards

Bob came to us with a time management problem.  It’s easy to see why when you expand this rule into all areas of his work.

Other rules we have come across –

always sit in the same chair to watch television

cut the top off a chocolate bar in a particular way

always sit by the window on an aeroplane

never run for more than 10 minutes at a time

only eat fish on certain days of the week

check your bank account on line every hour

count everything in sight – patterns on the wallpaper, paperclips, street lights, people in the room at a party or seats in the cinema. 

All these behaviours are the result of rules we set for ourselves both as individuals and as groups in society.  Rules generally evolve through a need for safety at some level.  Sometimes they are useful, for example road traffic rules evolved from a need to keep us safe on the roads after the advent of the motorcar.  Sometimes, however we make rules for ourselves which don’t serve us well and may have a negative impact on those around us.  Rules have a habit of creeping up on us, transferring from one person to another like a disease and before we know it can become part of a societal or organisational culture whether we meant them to or not.   So how do they come about?

How Rules Evolve

  Whether rules are made for ourselves or for our organisations the process is generally the same.  Here is an example –

 Stage 1 – You have an experience eg, your manager rejects an idea

Stage 2 – You form an opinion which requires some form of action eg, no point in offering new ideas so won’t bother in future

Stage 3 – You share your opinion with others

Stage 4 – Others take on board your opinion and cease offering ideas

Stage 5 – It’s in the culture!

In this example not only do you have an unwritten rule for yourself – not to offer ideas to this particular manager - but over a period of time the rule has become adopted by those around you.  This may appear simplistic but you are probably making new rules for yourself daily – rules which can often be based on very little evidence but which can have a major impact on your behaviour and on those around you.  If all rules evolve from a need for safety it stands to reason that in this example the rule is protecting you from further rejection.

In my car parking example above everyone involved was operating from a need for safety – the receptionist and the two executives fearing for their jobs and the Managing Director using status for fear of who knows what. 

What personal rules do you have?  Who do you make a point of including in your plans and who do you make a point of avoiding?  What do you believe or not believe about your organisation, your colleagues, your family and friends or your own ability to achieve something?  What rules have you made as a result of these beliefs?  Write them down and ask yourself some questions –

Where did the rule come from?

Do you still need it?

What is the need for safety that keeps the rule in place?

Do others share the rule?

What is the impact of keeping it? On you?  On others?

If the rule is limiting your progress what would be a more useful rule?

Now look around your organisation at the written or unwritten cultural rules that are in place.  Ask yourself the same questions.  You will be surprised at what you will find just because personal and organisational rules have crept up on you.  How many rules are actually dampening creativity and keeping your organisation from moving forward?

Have fun exploring your rules!

Pat Hutchinson

Quadrant 1 International

 Time Management is an Emotional Issue

How one senior executive lost 27 days a year over things that ‘niggle’!

  Working with a senior director in a large service organisation we asked her to list the tasks she became involved in during the course of a day, week and month.  Whilst doing so we noticed a brief change in demeanour when she wrote down a particular task.  When asked what the change meant she simply said ‘I don’t enjoy this because I can never get the information I need from the accounts department – but it’s only a slight niggle – its no big deal’. Further delving revealed that this ‘slight niggle’ caused her to lose 1.5 hours 4 times a month in procrastination, anxiety and frustration. That’s 6 hours a month every month for a year or 72 hours just on one niggle.  So what if she had 3 such niggles?  That’s 216 hours a year or 27 days – more than a month spent in procrastination, anxiety and frustration.

  The issue wasn’t with the accounts department it was with the way she was thinking about the task – such was her frustration she hadn’t visited the accounts department for over 9 months and relied on communicating via e-mail and mobile phone. Her relationships with people within the department had soured and consequently they weren’t giving priority to her requests. 

  With a simple reframing exercise we were able to help her change the way she was thinking about the task and to evolve a fresh approach involving taking time to rebuild those vital relationships. 

  If you were to take a look at the time consuming activities in your world what would they be?  Does everything you and your team do have a clear purpose behind it?  How could you improve the efficiencies in relation to meetings, information dissemination, creating a progressive, creative environment, engaging your workforce, developing and stretching people?

  Remember for maximum productivity work should be enjoyable!

  Enjoy!

I don’t do small talk!

  We often hear senior people in organisations say ‘I don’t do small talk!’  The implication is either - 

 I am far too busy or important to get involved in passing the time of day with colleagues and friends or

  Actually I am petrified of you and I don’t know how to talk to you so I’ll just keep myself busy instead

When I hear this comment on our programmes I encourage delegates to reframe their thinking - Its not small talk its BIG talk!  Under-estimating the value of BIG talk can seriously damage your career.  What if during a seemingly innocent chat with someone you –

Found a common interest which could stand you in good stead when you next need support for a project

Picked up a recommendation of someone who could help you with your current challenge

 Highlighted an opportunity to help someone – a credit in the favours bank – you never know when you might need it

Agreed an opportunity for a brainstorm

Managed to lighten the load for someone else by listening to their perceived problem

Heard about a success in another part of the organisation which you could act upon in some way

Discovered something the competition are doing

  Why do you think people join clubs, have business lunches, organise entertainment for colleagues, attend networking meetings, join social networking  sites on the internet – its all in the interest of information exchange. 

  When we ask people about their reluctance to engage in conversation the underlying causes are manifold.  They include –

     I don’t have anything to say

  Low self esteem

 They might think I am nosey

  I might be seen to be time wasting

 Its only important to discuss work

  It might waste my time

  Some people are intimidating

 They are not going to be interested in me/my issues

  I find it difficult to say what I really think/feel

 Its easier to send an e-mail

What if I say the wrong thing?

So as you go through all this internal dialogue, most of which incidentally is a series of misconceptions (imagine that! you’ve been fooling yourself all this time), you are inadvertently communicating something to people around you.  For example they may be picking up that you are unapproachable, disinterested, remote, aloof, awkward, difficult or superior - and I’m sure this was never your intention.  The more you opt out of BIG talk the more people will perceive you in a negative way and the more alienated you will become from the people around you.  So what can you do about it?

  BIG Talk is easy

  The secret is in identifying people’s focus of interest and then building rapport by pacing and leading.  There are only 5 things on which people focus and people give away their preference so easily –

    Location

 People

Things

Information

Activities 

Let’s start with location.  These people are very aware of their environment.  They will want to work in pleasant surroundings, their offices and homes will be nicely decorated and the view from the window will be important.  If such things are out of their control they will go to great lengths to make sure the space they do have control over is pleasantly organised.  Their holidays will be more about where they go than what they are going to do when they get there.  To communicate with these people the opening gambit will be focused on the environment, eg,

  You’ve got a great view from here

 Is that a photo of Mount Everest?

 I hear you were in Cumbria last week did you get a chance to take in the scenery?

  People who focus on people are easy to spot.  They tell you all about their friends, family and team and are likely to surround themselves with photos of their dear ones.  They ask you about your family and expect you to do the same –

   How’s Mary (partner)

 Have the kids settled in at the new school?

 How is Jo coping with his new role?

Things focused people like gadgets and material things.  They are interested in your new car, mobile phone, motorbike, computer, TV, fridge, dining suite, clothes and so on and so on.  They are likely to greet you with something like –

   ‘wow I see you have upgraded your ….’ or

  ‘have you seen one of these? (producing latest gadget from pocket) or even

 ‘love the outfit ….’

Information focused people are into books, reports, statistics, data, documentaries – they fill their heads with all kinds of information and appear to be in a perpetual pursuit of more.  Their opening gambit is likely to be –

     ‘Did you see that documentary on …. the other night?’

   ‘What do you think of the report on the …..?’

   ‘In his book (title) A J Smith says (quote).

Activities people like to be doing things.  Their conversation will be around what you or they have been doing recently –

    ‘How’s the golf/squash/yoga/tai chi going?’

  ‘What do you think we should do about ….?’

  ‘I notice you took an active role in getting that …… completed recently

Having established someone’s preference building rapport and conducting small talk is easy.  Simply match it and join in for as long as it takes to lead the conversation in a direction of your choice.  People will not only see you as interested in them but will unconsciously think of you as an interesting/approachable/friendly/trustworthy person.  Have some fun trying it out and notice what an impact such a small change can make on your environment and relationships.

  BIG talk is powerful!

The purpose of this game is to have an interactive, upbeat exploration of the consequences (productive and non-productive) of what we do as individuals, teams and organisations.  At Quadrant 1 International we work with a cross section of organisations from both private and public sector and see a variety of business approaches and behaviours - some work some don't!   Only recently we were working with an organisation whose attitude was 'kill the competition!'.  Immediately following this we were in discussions with an organisation with a completely different attitude - 'let's share expertise with the competition and collaborate'.  The head offices of these two companies were on opposite sides of a major London trunk road - in other words within spitting distance of each other.  So how do company cultures become so diverse?

So here we go with round 1 of Business Consequences -