Stay Spooky 🖤

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

"we cut the nobody scene from the odyssey" "we cut the religious trauma and parental abuse from carrie" i'm starting to think that studios barely funding original films is starting to have an effect where directors make up a story and then slap an IP on it in order to sell. or maybe some bitches just can't read anymore idk it's one or the other

everyone in the tags adding the fennell wuthering heights is correct btw

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

happy 10 years of those are his hooves you bitch

why the FUCK am i still on here

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

heroine of a gothic novel (me) in a long diaphanous nightgown (oversized boygenius t-shirt and no pants) holds her candlestick (3 year old iphone that gets concerningly hot when the flashlight is on) aloft to light the shadowy corridors of a sprawling manor house (modest 2 bedroom apartment) in search of the source of a mysterious, dreadful warbling noise that pierces the night (dog’s water bowl fountain clogged with kibble)

In Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio called Tybalt "Prince of Cats" because there was a book, popular at the time, with a cat prince named Tybalt in it. He was making a pop culture reference. Therefore, I move, that in a modern Romeo and Juliet retelling, Tybalt should be named Garfield.

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

I don't think I've ever seen an artist misunderstand their own work's target audience quite so starkly as David Firth finding it implausible that a woman would want to fuck Salad Fingers.