Past Imperfect

one really underrated aspect of Murderbot is that not only does it have a central cast with only one white man, it also has multiple women of color over 40 in the main cast which is something where the bar is kind of on the ground but… it’s so refreshing to see, especially in a show about professional scientists. Noma Dumezweni who plays Captain Mensah a Black woman who is 57, Tamara Podemski who plays Bharadwaj is an Indigenous and Jewish woman who is 48, and Tattiawna Jones who plays Arada is a Black woman who is 41. So that’s 3/7 of the central cast and that’s just really cool to see in a show about highly skilled professionals that finally has people in the age range of highly skilled professionals.

flintgenderism actually so special to me. even in s1 when he's doing pirate drag (cunted up to the gods: twirly villain 'stache, touch of eyeliner, 200 rings) he's so butch about it. and just keeps it rolling. beat a man to death with his bare hands. new leather jacket. new stud. overwhelming grief. bald now. communist praxis. beardmaxing #mymasccaptain

I think so much of the perception that women are displaying hostility towards men is about sexist double standards. Women are expected to take care of men's feelings. That same expectation carries into discussions about misogyny. Women are expected to facilitate that discussion in a way that mitigates men's discomfort. Women are expected to give men the benefit of the doubt even when they're talking about problems like sexual violence. Women are expected to prioritize being pleasant and supportive over honest expression of their feelings. Like, women are afraid men will kill them, men are afraid women will mention that.

I dislike ADHD resources focused on managing shame/anxiety/overwhelm, especially based on the assumption that people with ADHD typically struggle to cope with emotions. I'm not cool with stereotyping "ADHD brains" as dysregulated. I don't think that's true. I think people with ADHD are simply disabled, and I think ADHD visibility has combined with medicalization to create an affirming-pathologizing stereotype of people with ADHD as having poorly-focused feelings. I know this model resonates with many people with ADHD, but I just don't think it's supported. It seems to me much more likely that "RSD" &c. are just a reflection of stress and internalized shame. I strongly suspect that you could find an "RSD" equivalent in many marginalized populations. Not because they struggle to manage negative feelings, but because marginalized people are more likely to experience rejection and also more likely to experience rejection as a form of hostility and exclusion. I also think this is related to sexism. I don't think it's a coincidence that visibility for ADHD among women has coincided with an emerging stereotype of people with ADHD as emotionally dysregulated and anxious.

Another thing! I really hate it when people talk about "spiraling" as though it's a natural or intrinsic trait for people with ADHD. I think that's a product of disability too! If you have ADHD, you're not diagnosed, and every technique and resource available is designed for people without ADHD, of course you'll sink further into desperation. That isn't a sign that you have trouble pulling yourself out of a bad mood. It's a sign that you actually are in a hopeless situation. And if that's a regular experience from early childhood to adult diagnosis, you probably will develop some deep shame and anxiety!

eating disorders and abortions are two things that are like, spoken about in most mainstream discourse as though they are pretty rare and aberrant, but then when you’re actually friends with a lot of women you come to find out that they are extremely extremely common and kind of banal & mundane

I thought for ten minutes about the kinds of ethical issues mensah is probably dealing with as a leader in a democratic society not ruled by a corporation trying to negotiate around a corporation that traps people in debt and forces obedience through the usage of dangerous and violent slave robots trained to kill human beings that human beings cannot easily fight off. And then I also thought of her (as of the show at least) three spouses and seven children.

I saw a post on a terf blog before I blocked it from someone being like "Ummm is anybody else really concerned about the rise of antisocial kinks like pissing" and it made me laugh so hard I almost did a little antisocial kink myself

I think my favorite thing about mainstreaming kink is that you get reactionaries trying really hard to sell, like, "vibrator torture" and "dressing up as a sexy dragon" as signs of sociopathy.