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stop reblogging this

i don’t know how vine so perfectly encapsulated the best of humanity but that was a weird time

I hate it when im being a dumbass and shitposting, and my tired friends ask me "did you take your medicine?" Like sweetie, thats not the problem here. Im still a dumb fuck on medication, im just a dumb fuck that can multiply.

me, showing off my university degree: that’s right everyone, i paid multiple dollars to the government in order to attain sporadic sprinklings of knowledge that i forgot two months after each class ended

this is better than any poem a man has ever written

If you were to stretch out everybody’s entire cardiovascular system end to end across the earth, the entire population will die

The ides of March is coming up what’s everyone getting me?

i never understood how we’ve reinvented heiroglyphics until now

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

Well MAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

these are my parents talking to each other about me

Oh wow. Feelings.

Lol