The People’s Champ

My depression is this wave of adventures. Sometimes I go dark, sometimes I go sexual, sometimes I go complete change of wardrobe, sometimes I go lonely, sometimes i go prideful; most times i go drunk. It’s always something different.

Seigfried.

I beg of you, God, to give me an openness that would allow me to share EVERYTHING.

When I think about dying, I think about how free I’d be from me.

I can’t cover this darkness with habits anymore. That’s how close God is, but that’s also how close the devil is.

I’m never being modest; always insecure.

I didn’t officially Graduate.

I want male-companionship.

I miss Josh. I miss Friend-Josh. I miss Semi-Sexual-Josh. I miss Caring-Josh. He gets the joke, but he never got me. I’d do anything for you; in the dark.

I only miss Abdallahi because he stared at me.

I only miss Christopher because he held me and stared at me.

When I think about giving up and killing myself for the devil, I compare my situation to Wayne’s. I could never have gone through what he went through. The hardest part about that is I hurt for him everyday. I wanted to die while he was in jail. My best friend.

We can’t find Shay and that hurts my soul. My spirit is sick. I wish I was better to her. I wish she knew that not all men were like our father. I wish she knew that i loved her till the end of time. Forever and some. Come back

I never cry to anyone else cause everyone else has their stuff. I’d hate to place my baggage in someone else cart.

The funny part about being misunderstood is it’s a trend right now. I was never playing or playing along with being misunderstood. That shit is my life. That’s the shit I live. That’s what i wake up to. The scary question is do I “Issa Rae” this shit or “Kurt Cobain” this shit??